What If The Fire Is The Safest Place To Heal? Season 5 opener

It's Therapy Thursday and Season 5 begins!

Season five opens with honesty, tears, and a surprising kind of joy. We step straight into the heart of grief and come out with tools you can use: how to honor good memories after a painful divorce, how to receive support you couldn’t accept years ago, and how stillness can surface the truths that keep you stuck. You’ll hear a mother reflect on the loss of her son and what changed when she stopped managing pain and let herself feel it. Together, we map the shift from anger to acceptance and the freedom of letting two truths stand side by side.

We also explore the idea of “faith in the fire.” Whether your language is God, Spirit, or simple presence, the fire can be the safest place to stand still and grow. We share practical ways to sit in the heat—breathing, journaling, community witness—so fear loosens its grip and meaning emerges. That same openness shapes our approach to healing at scale: a live, multi-generational conference that weaves spoken word, music, dance, guided meditation, journaling, skin care as self-respect, and trauma-release movement. The arts aren’t decoration; they are proven ways to regulate the nervous system and unlock what words alone can’t reach.

Parents and educators will find plenty here too. We challenge the myth that quiet equals learning and offer simple shifts for kids who think better in motion or speak answers before they write them. With stories of confidence-building, one-on-one support, and learning through creativity, we make a case for classrooms—and homes—that honor different brains. And threaded through everything is gratitude: the daily choice that slows time, deepens connection, and makes space for legacy without clinging to it.

If this conversation moves you, follow along for more stories, practical tools, and guest insights this season. Subscribe, share the episode with someone who needs gentle courage today, and leave a review to help others find this space. Then tell us: which moment lit a new path for your healing?

Chapters

• 0:00 Season Five Welcome
• 0:36 Announcing The Healing Conference
• 1:59 Summer Of Reflection And Grief
• 4:22 Reconciling Love After Divorce
• 6:52 Remembering Brandon And Receiving Support
• 10:12 Owning Your Part In The Story
• 12:40 Faith In The Fire Metaphor
• 15:12 Stillness, Tears, And Spiritual Insight
• 18:00 Parenting, School Structure, And Creativity
• 23:44 Learning Styles And One-On-One Support
• 27:20 Activity, Rest, And Mental Health
• 31:15 Community, Small Joys, And Connection
• 34:00 Conference Guests And Arts Integration
• 37:46 Breakouts And Inclusive Belief Systems
• 41:28 Gratitude Practice And Everyday Joy
• 45:06 Legacy, Memory, And Lineage
• 49:16 Resources, Websites, And Closing Blessing

Transcript

Candace Patrice: 0:05

Hello, and welcome back to the first episode of season five of our podcast. Hello, all. We are so excited to be back. It is me and dear mother, Janet Hill. Hello, mother.

Janet Hale: 0:25

Hey, Candace. Hey, everybody. It's good to be back.

Candace Patrice: 0:29

Man, it's been a while. Um, we've had summer break and all the things. We're coming back. We're coming back so fresh that we actually have a conference in two days.

Janet Hale: 0:43

Yes.

Candace Patrice: 0:43

A generational conversation, a generational conference called More Than a Woman Healing the Pain. It is at the Marriott and Romulus from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. Um and it is special. But before we get into that, I just want to check in how has your summer been? Can you tell everybody just about your life over the last few months from June to now?

Janet Hale: 1:13

It's been good. It's been a summer of reflection for me, a summer of remembrance, a summer of allowing myself to feel certain things. I didn't know that I had stuffed down. A time for a deep connection with the universe. Um it's been good. It's been powerful and impactful in a weird kind of way. In a good, weird kind of way.

Candace Patrice: 1:53

You know? What what's been most impactful?

Janet Hale: 1:58

And I I've shared a lot of this stuff with you already. Um dealing with the loss of my husband. And when I say that, I mean the loss of the marriage, the loss of his physical presence on this earth after we divorced, the whole realization of realizing that I missed him. And just being with sitting with that, like, you know what? It is what it is, and it's okay. You know, just a lot of everything being okay.

Candace Patrice: 2:38

Yeah.

Janet Hale: 2:39

And that was one of the big ones for me. Also, um, grieving the death of my son, your brother, and allowing all that stuff to come up. So just uh I don't know, this is kind of hard to articulate, but just some real powerful, impactful, spiritual um changes for me. Yeah. But good things. I know it sounds sad. It's not sad.

Candace Patrice: 3:12

No, no, no. It's not a sad thing. You know, you you know what? I think for people listening to understand, it's um well, can you explain how it's a good thing, how the reflection uh leads to a good thing?

Janet Hale: 3:31

So I'll I'll start off with um um my husband. So married to him for 30 years, and in those 30 years, there's a whole lot of things that happened. We were, in fact, when we got divorced, we were so mad at each other that I was like, damn, now you're dead, and I can't even have a conversation. You know, as the time goes on, the hurt is lessened. Um, and getting past the anger of it all, and looking at the love of it all on my side, um, and embracing and accepting it because there were times in there, and I was talking to you one time, and I said, you know, I walked to the house, I'd be like, damn Charles, oh, I remember when you had me. Oh, or thank you. Just these conversations and reconciling how I can do that and be okay with that and not get caught up in, oh, that was a good memory, but he still did this to me. I had to get that together because both things can be true at the same time. And I don't need to rationalize, you know, to make sure I mention what was unpleasant in order to celebrate the fond memories. You know, so that was a thing. The thing with um Brandon, I and I I think back on when um he passed, which was nine years ago, and I was into just operational. Like I need to do this and I need to do that, and I must get this done. And you know, I didn't have a lot of support, as you know, um in getting what I needed to get done. But one of the memories that I have, and I hadn't even shared this or with you, I don't think, was my sisters had gotten t-shirts with my son on, you know, on there. And I remember, and oh. I remember when they did that, I was like, why are they doing that? And when I look at it now, I think it was their way of supporting me and losing my son. And so that's why I said it's not sad. I know I'm crying and stuff, but it's not sad. It's I think it's a oh uh just letting go of the anger and the control and all those things that you put on the ego and the brave face, and the I'm, you know, I got this under control, and just allow myself to just rest in love. Wow, whatever that looks like. And then recognizing nine years ago, folks were in their own way showing their love. And I didn't get it.

Candace Patrice: 6:32

What do you think made it hard to receive the love they were trying to give?

Janet Hale: 6:36

I I for me it was because I knew with Brandon, I had made a lot of mistakes. And I knew that they knew what they were. And how could they see me as a good mother? You know, are you mocking me? And so, you know, it's just like I said, it's been a summer for me.

unknown: 7:06

Yeah.

Janet Hale: 7:06

Um, and just those kinds of things, being able to look at that and call the thing the thing that it is.

Candace Patrice: 7:16

So the tears that you shed now of happiness and understanding and grief and forgiveness, joy, all of those things. Uh how could someone else who's going through this situation kind of look at the situation differently so that they can experience the joy of the grief?

Janet Hale: 7:42

Uh I think it would be very arrogant of me to answer that for everyone. And then I'm gonna tell you why.

Candace Patrice: 7:47

Nope, you ain't got to, I get it.

Janet Hale: 7:49

Okay, and so I can just speak from my experience.

Candace Patrice: 7:52

Thank you.

Janet Hale: 7:53

And that is the the grief letting go, or wait a minute. Do some people say the your happiness is on the other side of the fear. And so facing it, facing all those things, facing the with my husband just being so angry at all the things that on his part that didn't go well, you know, because of course it was all his damn fault, because I had nothing to do. And so, but being able to like, okay, Janet, hey, you know, we talked about this, how everything that has happened is my fault.

Candace Patrice: 8:38

Yeah.

Janet Hale: 8:40

So, and and that sounds weird, um, but it's my response to things, the way I look at things, is it all about Janet, like in this marriage, man. I mean, we both have we were both folks trying to make it in this marriage. And we were just fumbling through the whole thing trying to find our way. And it was a lot of finger pointing and different things like that that went on. Um, we're just trying to make it.

Candace Patrice: 9:13

You know, it's uh so what I'm gathering from what you're saying, though, if someone was to try to find the tools, it would be recognize your own part in what is happening around you.

Janet Hale: 9:25

Uh totally.

Candace Patrice: 9:26

Okay, I like that.

Janet Hale: 9:28

Totally. That's good. Totally. But it's just that the process, the, you know, your way there.

Candace Patrice: 9:33

Yeah, everybody's process.

Janet Hale: 9:34

Your journey. Exactly. Right.

Candace Patrice: 9:36

Because, you know, that's why the underlining would be the recognize it in yourself, because only you are gonna know how to maneuver and navigate that. Yes. Because you have the full story.

Janet Hale: 9:47

I ooh, so yes, I have the full story. Yeah, and actually, my full story is still only half of the story.

Candace Patrice: 9:58

Uh, yep, exactly that. You know what I'm saying? But it's your variation in your version of mine.

Janet Hale: 10:02

Right, but that's so that's my half of the full story, right?

Candace Patrice: 10:06

And you have control of that half.

Janet Hale: 10:09

That's it. Yeah, period. You know, so it's just um, man, I didn't mean to be on here on the first day just crying.

Candace Patrice: 10:17

Well, here's the thing: the conference is called Healing Our Pain. So this is what we're stepping into. We're stepping into finding, I mean, that I mean, also, this is what the podcast is. Yeah, it's about healing in different ways and what that journey looks like. And it's not always pretty, and even the pretty parts are ugly. You know, it it can be. And when I say ugly, I don't mean it like a bad thing. It's just it has its difficulties, and you're maneuvering to find the best out of that situation. Sometimes finding the best means going through it. When I went to conference, I went to conference, transformation church conference.

Janet Hale: 10:58

Oh, yeah.

Candace Patrice: 10:59

Um, last month, October, I want to say like the 8th to the 11th or so. And the theme of the conference was faith in the fire. Our word of the year is focus. So, faith in the fire, though, is to me, when I think of the faith in the fire, I think about God surrounding us with the fire to let us know that we have to stand still because whichever direction we're going in could be the wrong direction. And so we have to stop and reflect, which means we have to sit in it while we're in the fire. You can't go left, you can't go right. But in order to get through the fire, you have to have some form of trust and belief in what's on the other side. You can't see it, but it exists. So, what is it that you're able to? What is it that you're able to try? I want to say trust who is your your power that helps you get through it, but just identifying and knowing that it's safe in the fire.

Janet Hale: 12:07

So, yes, and I and I I love the way I love our relationship, I really do. Um, because you come from the Christian point of view, and I come from the other, not you know the other, the other. And when you said that, it made me think, you mentioned you uh about my summer, and this was the summer that I was alone a lot by choice, and I was still, and so there were so many things that came through me in my stillness that helped me identify the things that I've mentioned so far in this podcast. And there were times that I was in here just crying and just oh, oh, and after the cry, I would say, oh, thank you. Thank you. Because those were cries that I was afraid to cry. You know? So the being still and allowing myself time to and trusting that it's okay to go over to the other side, whatever that is. If it's the love for my husband, if it's the forgiveness of my sisters, if it's a better understanding of my granddaughter, if it's me understanding folks that I've been in contact with where things didn't seem like they turned out right, but actually they turned out perfectly, in my opinion, because they were meant to be. Um so yeah, that that steel time, that time, that sitting in the middle, as you call the fire, you know, and and resting in that and trusting that it's a safe spot to be in. It is okay.

Candace Patrice: 14:06

Yep. One of the um, so the reference referencing scripture with that is about the fourth man in the fire. And there were um, I'm a butcher, the names, so I'm not gonna say them, but there were three men who got put into the fire because they wouldn't um praise somebody else other than God. And so they was like, you know what, burn them. Y'all not gonna praise my name? Burn them. Uh so turn the turn the furnace up like 700 degrees hotter than it's supposed to be, that's so hot that the men who threw them in died from the heat of the fire. So they go back and say, Hey, didn't we throw three men in the fire? And they're like, Yeah. They said, Well, there are four men in there, and one of them looks like a god. They were untouched, unscorched, unanything. So when I say it's safe in the fire, if you have enough trust in your belief system and whatever that is to get you through it, you will not be harmed. You will, everything is for your good, and you just have to know that. Walk through that fire, get to the other end, and say, I made it. But if you have too much fear in the fire, and I'm not saying it's not okay to to to not know and express, like I don't know. I don't, you know, I'm a little, I don't want to say afraid, but I'm having some things. Help me in my in my unbelief. Um God, what was I getting at with that? Um, I don't even remember.

Janet Hale: 15:41

The fire, the four folks, something in the Bible.

Candace Patrice: 15:44

I know they were safe, they were cool.

unknown: 15:46

Okay.

Candace Patrice: 15:47

Having faith. Have your faith get you through the fire. Okay. Um, but I wanted to say, you know, you're you said you didn't mean to go there during this time. Um, but that's exactly where we're going in this season. It is the release, it is the honesty, it is allowing yourself to heal from the places you haven't been able to reveal. Oh, heal what you couldn't reveal.

Janet Hale: 16:20

I told you that my girlfriend told me that. Oh, oh, can I share this part, please? So, this conference is coming up, right? And so I'm like, Oh, we're going to scan up a lot has happened, you know, in six years, you guys. It was six years when we had the first conference. And so I was talking to my girlfriend. I said, Oh my god. I said, girl, I've been through a lot. I don't know if I'm ready to do this. She said, Huh, you can't heal what you don't reveal. I said, okay now. So, so the to your point as well.

Candace Patrice: 16:53

Yeah, exactly. And that's why we're bringing people together on November 8th of 2025 at the Marriott and Romulas from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. Um to heal the pain that's within. Um, so I'm just gonna tell you guys a little bit about the conference. It is Saturday. We are at capacity, so I know there's no worries about trying to go get a ticket, but I want to share so that you can either follow or look out for the next event, next conference, um, which I've already named, which is more than a woman and man breaking the chains. But you know, anywho, let's get through this one. I know it's deep. Okay, I'm sorry, I did that.

Janet Hale: 17:33

Wait, breaking what chains? I don't know, but we're gonna break them. That's just what we know. We want we can talk about that later.

Candace Patrice: 17:43

Uh-uh, we're here at healing the pain. Heal the pain, not breaking the chain. So healing the healing the pain. Um, one of the things that was very influential during the Great Depression was the arts. So we incorporate the arts in the conference, which is spoken word, live musical selections, and dance interwoven throughout the conference. Um, and then having conversations with different individuals who have had their fair share of a journey and they're here to share it with you. They're here to be open and honest with you. Um, they're not there to judge your situation, and we're all here to be open and experience something different because we can't find our find other ways of healing if we don't know them. Because you can have someone else tell you, oh, you need to do this. But that's not the case because what has to be done is already within you, and you have to reveal your path to yourself. It'll feel good, it'll feel right as you go through it. It it might feel scary, it might be hard, but you'll know you're on the right track or on a track to figuring it out. Because sometimes it can feel good and still not work out, and that's okay because that was a part of the journey. Maybe that was the learning part of the phase that you were in, but can continuing to try to find that healing in whatever way that you can. So that's what we're doing on November 8th. And I'm excited to be able to do that, to be able to have this journey, which we started 12 weeks ago, a conversation. I was sitting on my patio talking to my mama, and I don't even know how we got here. We were just talking. I was like, ooh, we should do the conference. I got on my phone and picked a date. And I want to say two days later, I was like, mom, we got a location. She was like, say what up?

Janet Hale: 19:39

Yeah, I did say that.

Candace Patrice: 19:42

And then we just started planning. We talked it out. Uh, we would go back and um I would let her know my updates and we come back together and have some conversation about it, and it would just spark the brains. And here we are 12 12 weeks later, two days two, we start um the conference. And I'm excited. I'm really, really excited that we chose to see it through. Uh even without all of the pieces, and you guys will hear the testimony afterwards and everything and how it's worked itself out. Um but yeah, meanwhile, my summer's been great.

Janet Hale: 20:21

Okay, come on now. Come on, come on.

Candace Patrice: 20:24

I'll catch you guys up. Um, so Tamari got out of school. We we had a good summer. We winged it like we do so that we don't have too much structure and things that drive us all crazy. We kind of just go with the flow. So glad not to have homework, so glad not to have to get up early in the morning. Like me and my daughter, we want to stay up late, we want to sleep in late, and we want to do what we want to do. I now listen, I understand that I have conditioned my child to this lifestyle. And I apologize to the teachers and anyone who has to be the authoritative figure of structure because I wing it a lot, but that's because a lot of times I'm winging my own brain for the best way. And I think it's a great way to parent, actually. I have no problems with the way that I do it. I have no problems with the results. There are certain things, of course, I'm like, hmm, okay, I see where that could have been handled slightly different. But at the end of the day, I am grateful for being myself and being grounded in me and being able to teach my daughter the way I feel I need to. Now, does it come with this difficulties? Absolutely. Does it make it slightly harder for others? Absolutely. Do I try to teach like outside the home? We gotta do a little different. Absolutely. Does she grasp it? Sometimes she lives her life here.

Janet Hale: 22:00

I think she grasps it.

Candace Patrice: 22:02

For the most part.

Janet Hale: 22:03

She's very smart.

Candace Patrice: 22:04

No, she's she's very smart, but when it comes to structure, it is, and when I say structure, sitting still for eight hours, who's supposed to do that? I can't even do that. She began to do it.

Janet Hale: 22:16

You know, you know, um this whole institution and and how we teach, I I don't fully agree with. I just don't. Um I think children need to get up, they need to move around. When I was a kid, back in the olden days, there was lunchtime, there was physical P A P E P E still had a call to gym. Yeah, they still had an A and um we played and we did all the things, and then there was this little time of structure, you know, and then you know, you you went to reset, whatever, just all the things. I think with um Kamari to try, I just think to try to handle her in the way of you've got to do this, you've got to do that, and da-da-da. She's her spirit's not this gonna not gonna have it. It's just not, she's gonna be rebel. It's gonna be a uh a power struggle.

Candace Patrice: 23:20

Real quick, real quick, real quick.

Janet Hale: 23:22

Real quick.

Candace Patrice: 23:22

So yesterday I went into my boss's office, right? And she was trying to get her stuff done. I was about to leave, and she was like, Will you get out of my office? Because I got work to do, and you gotta go get your child. And I was like, I stood there. I said, I'm feeling like my child. I want to stay because you're telling me to leave. I felt it deep down within me. But as an adult, I was able to say it out loud and then walk away.

Janet Hale: 23:50

And so, yeah, and and um I read something because you know I do the reels on you know the Facebook thing. And it was showing a woman, she had her son filling a bucket in the grass, big field, and she said, she's talking about her child in school and how they were saying did not follow direction, was not learning, and then she said they allowed him to learn how to do math by counting the poles on the fence. Just all the different ways to be creative in teaching us. Um now I'm like that. I can't do that straight up, teach me stuff.

Candace Patrice: 24:31

Please.

Janet Hale: 24:32

And I share with you when I was in college at Wayne State, that math, me, classmate of mine, grown, grown women, we use stick people to figure out the math, and that was okay. And I just think with our kids, with our children, we need to afford them the, you know, they need the arts, they need to be able to move, they need to be able to dance, they need to be able to sing, they need to be able to do all those things so their creative energy can flow and we learn better, even as adults. I I know for me, I learned better, you know, when I'm able to be stimulated.

Candace Patrice: 25:11

I started testing or trying some things out with Kamarian because I needed to know if the work seemed too big or if she didn't know the information. So, what I started doing is I would read the question and just ask her to tell me the answer, opposed to writing it. Turns out she's not one to write shit. It seems so big, it's a lot of work. She's like, I don't want to write my hand. It's just not what she's into when it really comes down to it. She gets a pencil, then she gets that work packet, then she starts doodling, she starts sketching, starts drawing on the paper where she should be drawing, be writing words. So the action is the same. You're still using a pencil, you're still putting something to the paper, and you're still having to work those same muscles you would if you were writing. However, for some reason, rewriting a sentence that's already there, she's like, that's dumb. Let me just scratch this out and rewrite the word. Like it's because she knows it, but for some reason, it just gets so big. It gets so big. Or with math, it came down to me doing the problem, and then eventually she'd be like, give me the pencil, I want to do it, because she's realizing that she can do it. She just sometimes needs confidence in herself. She really needs a tutor, she needs a one-on-one tutor.

Janet Hale: 26:36

I just think that first of all, there's too many children in the classroom. That's facts. Um, everybody has a different learning method. Let's get with that. We're not robots, and it just turns into a whole thing of um, you know, the most obedient person, you know, that's able to sit and follow like a robot, of course, and I'm not knowing, I don't mean to offend you. No, right. Oh, I really don't. Um, will do seem to do better than folks who, you know, who are critical thinkers.

Candace Patrice: 27:07

I was a semi-robot. You were semi. You know, a lot of times actually.

Janet Hale: 27:16

Oh, so was I offending you?

Candace Patrice: 27:19

No. I you know, I really okay, y'all. Don't put me in no home because I'm about to say this. Don't put me in no white walled space, okay? Um, and keep my arms together. I'm not harming myself. Um, but there are times when I think I'm able to tap into two personalities that run parallel of each other. They can either show up at the same time. And like, I think that in school, they showed up at the same time. I've got this robot, I can follow structure, I can get it all done. However, the creative side of me won't stop talking and doing all the things and moving around. Remember, I used to get threes in citizenship. Threes were bad, apparently. However, I remember Mr. Turner in fifth grade was like, I'm not giving her no three because she talks. She's not a bad kid. She gets all her work done and everything. She's gonna get a one. She do talk a lot. Matter of fact, she should be a lawyer. I think she's gonna be a lawyer. Like that was his thought process. You know, um, yeah, but the work was good and done, the grades were good. And even now, when it comes to getting certain things done, and it's like I can get all of the paperwork and the contracts and everything done, but I also can handle the artist work and making sure that performances are running smoothly and that it sounds, you know, sounds good, and I big I can be very creative and very structured at the same time.

Janet Hale: 28:42

You remind me of when you were um in school. I don't know what grade you were in. You were on the, of course, you were getting all A's and stuff. Then you were basket on basketball, you were in dance. Oh, that was A grade.

Candace Patrice: 28:54

I said, What are we doing? We were up until school all the time. Oh, yeah. That year I remember I was it was dance, choir, cheerleading, basketball, um, chess club, um, honor society. Uh I don't know if it was another one, but those are the six I can remember at the same time.

Janet Hale: 29:16

So were you a when were you a caddy?

Candace Patrice: 29:19

That was freshman year of high school, I want to say.

Janet Hale: 29:24

No, of college.

Candace Patrice: 29:26

College. I'm sorry, I didn't I didn't work through through school any of the 12 years.

Janet Hale: 29:31

Yeah, so even in that, um, you were doing all those things, but you were very active.

unknown: 29:38

Yeah.

Janet Hale: 29:38

You know what I mean? You were getting the good grades, but you were still all over the place.

Candace Patrice: 29:42

Uh right? I was all over the place and probably felt more structured being all over the place than I ever would just being in one lane. Because even now, when I think of all the things I have to get, I'm like, move, move, move. Okay, this gotta get done, this gotta get done. I can get it, sorry, Kookah. I can get it done. I cook. My god cat, y'all. She's landing me, and I'm happy. And we're adopting two kittens, Marco and Polo this week, and I'm even more excited. So life is good. Um, what was I saying? I just interrupted about the cat.

Janet Hale: 30:14

Um, well, you were just talking about uh being active, doing things, and right. So even now and still getting things done.

Candace Patrice: 30:21

I feel more alive when I have more things to do. And I remember when I started slowing down, it was living with you. And you and Roy was like, yo, you need to sit down. You need to tried it. Uh, you know, I realized I sat down and then I just sat there and I would pull my head up, but I didn't get up for a long time. But I realized that I have to find ways to rest for a period and get back into it. Because getting back into it keeps me from being depressed, it keeps me from feeling down, it keeps me alive and going. Being able to go and touch somebody's spirit and they feel good, that awakens me. That makes me feel like I did something for the day. It allows me to feel like I am living and I want to live. And the more things that I can get done, the more I feel like I'm living. It's a wild thing. But if 20 small things in a day, what?

Janet Hale: 31:18

What?

Candace Patrice: 31:19

It's like I hit the jackpot of life.

Janet Hale: 31:22

Yeah, now I'm the opposite, yes, you know. Like I'm to myself, by myself, okay with being by myself. Although I think I want a little dog or something. I don't know. Um, however, when I go out, it is I look forward to making human connections. So one of my treats to myself is to take the long way to the local health food store. And when I get in there, I talk to the tomatoes. Like if I have enough tomatoes, I'll be like, I'll be back. And the fresh produce and just all those things. And then the the local market is very calming. It's not a lot of hustle and bustle, it's just folks just cruising down the aisle, and I'll end up talking to somebody, and we're like talking for about 45 minutes, and just that interaction just feels so good to me. So I get what you're saying about feeling alive with connecting with another person, and then I'm able, now I'm an introvert, I'm able to come back in the house and relax, but whenever I need that human charge, it just feels so good. Um, today there's a thing going on, and um I'm looking forward to it because I'm gonna be amongst folks and um it's kind of a celebration type of deal. And I'm gonna meet new people. So it's good when I'm doing it, and it's also good when I'm doing this.

Candace Patrice: 32:53

You look so pretty.

Janet Hale: 32:55

Oh, thank you.

Candace Patrice: 32:57

You are welcome. I really like this haircut.

Janet Hale: 33:01

Yeah, you guys. I will cut my hair off.

Candace Patrice: 33:04

First of all, she cut it herself first. Oh, yeah, that was funny. Chopped it off. I do I managed it though, didn't you? I thought it was still cute. I only knew that you had like certain dips.

Janet Hale: 33:14

It had dips in it.

Candace Patrice: 33:15

You couldn't tell when it was curly.

unknown: 33:17

Huh?

Candace Patrice: 33:18

When it was curly, you couldn't even tell.

Janet Hale: 33:20

Yeah, yes. So yeah, thank you very much for that.

Candace Patrice: 33:23

And I don't know if you could tell when it wasn't curly, but you could.

Janet Hale: 33:26

So no, I couldn't tell when it was curly. No, when it wasn't curly, you saying, but I could oh no, even when it was curly, I could feel it.

Candace Patrice: 33:34

Oh, I got you.

Janet Hale: 33:35

I was like, oh, but someday I'm gonna have to fix this.

Candace Patrice: 33:38

Oh it didn't look the way it felt though, so that's good.

Janet Hale: 33:41

Oh, thank you. You're welcome. Thank you.

Candace Patrice: 33:43

You're welcome.

Janet Hale: 33:44

Yes, so we are back. We are back. Um, also, I wanted to say this because I was looking at the folks who are gonna be a part of the conference and how you made a lot of contacts with folk, and they're going to be a part of this process. And that is so awesome.

Candace Patrice: 34:03

Three of our guests from past seasons are showing up for the conference. We got uh Sylvia Moore Myers, Myers Moore, Moore Myers, sorry, Sylvia. Um, we have Denise Schoenwald, sorry Denise. I'm not doing good with last names. Um, and we have Misty Bael Steer. Sorry, Misty. I, you know, I didn't have to say you guys' last names.

Janet Hale: 34:28

But the the the whole thing about that though is that um when they were on the show, we were so fond of them. I know. You know, even after the show was over, we would talk the next day. Did you really like? Oh, I really appreciate it with that, you know, just all those things and to watch everything come full circle.

Candace Patrice: 34:47

Yeah. And Denise, Denise um wrote, you know, she wrote a couple books. We got to read some of her books. Um and I loved her. I got to read my children's books with her children's books with um Kamari. And she has she has a new one that I don't have. Do I have that one? I don't know. I think I got like four books, though. So I'm really excited. And she's giving um some of them away at the conference as well. I know she is she's bringing 30 copies, and then if anybody else still wants one, she's gonna have a sign up for that. Um yeah. And Christina, Christina was on the podcast too. I think she was season one.

Janet Hale: 35:26

Yes, yes, yes, but Christina is also um coming.

Candace Patrice: 35:32

She's doing a presentation and she's going to perform a song. Y'all, her voice just it ministers to me. So I'm sorry. I'm gonna say it every single time. Every time y'all hear me say her name, you're probably gonna hear that sentence. It just ministers to me every time. So if Candace and Christina in the same sentence, that's what I'm gonna say.

Janet Hale: 35:51

All right.

Candace Patrice: 35:52

And she she doesn't, I don't even think she makes music anymore. But she's doing this it's because her ministry is now in hair. She's helping those with alopecia, she's helping those, she's making women feel whole with beautiful hair systems, and they look so real that you that woman is gonna feel so now they're expensive, but they are worth every yeah penny that you have to put into it. So thank you, Christina, for taking the time to just see what we needed and fulfilling a need. That's it. Okay, you were what else were you gonna say?

Janet Hale: 36:30

I think that was it. No, no, just the whole fact that they're they're going to be there. And um, we know when we were having them on the show, this wasn't even a part of our thinking forward.

Candace Patrice: 36:47

Because this was 12 weeks ago. The idea came 12 weeks ago, y'all.

Janet Hale: 36:52

Um, and then the lady with her daughter that's big on is she TikTok or?

Candace Patrice: 36:59

Oh, Miss Rita.

Janet Hale: 37:01

Yeah, to have just how you were able to just reach out to to ask for what you needed.

Candace Patrice: 37:09

Yeah. But even more when they showed up or they're showing up.

Janet Hale: 37:13

That well, because you reached out and asked. You did. You did you you asked, and they said okay.

Candace Patrice: 37:20

Yeah. So I'm I'm really looking forward to I I I'm really looking forward to sharing the testimony on um how people showed up after the conference.

Janet Hale: 37:32

Wonderful. Yeah.

Candace Patrice: 37:33

Yeah. So hopefully, next next episode, you guys will get kind of just a a replay of the conference and hearing things people get some audio clips. I don't know, y'all, but I'm excited. This is going to be, I believe, a revival conference. Um, I didn't share that. We got four different breakout sessions: guided meditation, guided journaling, um, skin care, and healing movement, which releases the trauma in your body. Uh and we're just gonna allow, I'm gonna say the Holy Spirit to take over this the room. Somebody else may say something else, but that is my belief system, and and I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited.

Janet Hale: 38:18

You you mentioned your belief system, and um, I just think it's really awesome that you are open to other folks' belief systems and allowing people to be in their space. Um, because not everyone's able to do that. And I'm not just saying from the Christians, I'm saying from everyone, all of them. They're like, if you're not mean and you're you know, you're going to hell, you're gonna burn forever, you know, all those things. And for you to be able to, you know, not be judgmental of the others, including your mom, right? But just like, hey, everybody, come on.

Candace Patrice: 39:01

And you know what? At the end of the day, standing by our personal belief systems, getting to the end of the world, at least we can say, I truly believed, and this is what is, and I'm okay with that because I did it the way I thought was best. You know, at the and I can't tell you what your who am I to tell somebody else that their belief system is wrong? Only thing I can say is I believe mine is right, but not that yours is wrong. You know, but that gets tricky, though. It does get tricky. It absolutely doesn't.

Janet Hale: 39:35

That gets tricky.

Candace Patrice: 39:37

So I don't subscribe to anything because it gets it gets tricky because it's how can you be right and tell me I'm not wrong? But it's not that I can tell you I'm right, I can tell you I believe in my belief system. And I hope that you believe in your belief system enough to stand by it.

Janet Hale: 39:58

Yeah, I I I like I like the seat that I fit in.

Candace Patrice: 40:02

I know I'll be hoping I don't get in trouble. I do.

Janet Hale: 40:04

I like the seat.

Candace Patrice: 40:05

I don't want to get in trouble. And I see how I think I was sharing with you how people on platforms can get in trouble real easy because it only takes one person to think something different, posted, and then all the people who think that way are against you, and it's like, oh no, I didn't mean it that way. Isn't there a talk show host who just um got fired? Like Jimmy Kimmel or somebody?

Janet Hale: 40:25

Oh, uh they got him back. Uh see something he said about the guy who got killed? Yes. Yeah, the Kirk guy, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Candace Patrice: 40:37

So oh, but he's back.

Janet Hale: 40:39

Oh yeah, they got him. Oh yeah. Oh, there was a I don't know how long he was down, maybe a week.

Candace Patrice: 40:44

Was it Jimmy Fowler?

Janet Hale: 40:46

It was a Jimmy, it was Jimmy Fowler. I think it was okay. It was a Jimmy.

Candace Patrice: 40:50

If it was a Jimmy, yeah.

Janet Hale: 40:52

Okay, and he has a late night talk show, I think. Yes, was it Jimmy?

Candace Patrice: 40:58

I don't know. I'm gonna look it up when we're done because I don't have time to um do it while we're here. But we are coming up at the end of today's discussion.

Janet Hale: 41:09

Yes, we are. Yes, we are so we've had um you know the summer has been a good summer and good for me on some deep spiritual stuff, but still good, really, really, really good. Um and I'm just grateful and thankful for everything. Yeah, wow, for everything.

Candace Patrice: 41:37

That's good, that's good. I too, I'm I've been experiencing so much gratitude, so much so that my friends be like, go be gratitude somewhere else. I actually send um um, I send her memes now. So instead of saying, I thank you so much, I love you, you're the greatest. One time I sent her a meme of a dump truck dumping out soil on the ground. I said, just imagine this truck is filled with my gratitude. But since I can't tell you, just visualize it. Because she'd be girl, go somewhere. I know I love you too, grateful, all of that. But now I found I found real creative ways to show her or tell her. But yeah, being filled with when you're filled with gratitude, you almost see, you almost have gratitude for every single moment of your life.

Janet Hale: 42:34

That's true.

Candace Patrice: 42:34

And if you express that out loud, I can imagine that gets a little tiring. Not for me, but maybe for those who are hearing it. I mean, if if you're a gratitude person who just wants to share about gratitude, send me an email. Let's just chat all day long about gratitude. Because I can do it, I I can tell you how grateful I am to be here today in this moment, in this time, and this space, and whatever is to come, I'm grateful for that too. Even the things I don't know is coming, even the things I have to learn lessons from. I'm so grateful. I'm grateful God chose me to go on this journey. I'm grateful God chose me to give. I'm grateful that I gave God my yes.

Janet Hale: 43:19

I like that.

Candace Patrice: 43:20

Yeah, yes, so much. Okay, here we go. You see, I'm about to go down a whole rabbit hole of gratitude. I'm grateful for you, mom. I'm grateful that we chose to do this conference. We said yes 12 weeks ago, and we're pulling through with it from beginning to end.

Janet Hale: 43:35

Yeah, I'm I'm I'm grateful for us in so many ways. And I'm really grateful for this platform. Because I've said to you, when I'm dead and gone, you'll be able to go, oh well, let's look at this. And this conversation mama and I had about, you know, yeah.

Candace Patrice: 43:53

Oh as she goes through life and she's like, if ever she gets to a point, she's like, I just wish I could get some advice. She could literally go back and listen to some of the things we talked about. Be like, ah, okay, this is what I mean. Hopefully she don't have to do that, and we still here.

Janet Hale: 44:10

We can live a long life, but that's interesting because uh we were talking one of the days she was here, and I said something about being her grandmother, because you know, I like to let her know, although she knows, but I I get on this thing. And um, and I was saying how I I don't know how I worded it, but that I was thankful that I was able to be your mother and then to see your child born, which is my grandchild who lived in you. Uh-huh. Well, I didn't say that, but yes. And then she was like, oh, and she made reference to when she has a kid and me not being here because lately that's her thing. Shh yeah, it is actually. She she sat next to me and she said, Oh, I'm so glad you're here. Okay. Now I said some smart mouth, she didn't like it. I'm like, what is it? I'm just glad you're still alive. Well, you know, I think she's no that's an important thing though, because guess what? That girl's look, she's like so mama in her 60s now.

Candace Patrice: 45:20

Yeah, and you know, Papa died. So she knows that death has to happen at some point. And she doesn't know when it happens because Papa was so like what? And I think she just appreciates the now. And there are moments the other day, and she was just like, she was in the room crying, and she's like, I just don't want you to die, I want you to be with me. And I said, I want to be here too. I want to take this journey with you. I said, But I'm right here right now, so let's just enjoy the moments now. And she'll say sometimes, you know, these days don't come back.

Janet Hale: 45:57

Yeah, that's that's a favorite one from Charles. Love it. But the thing um I think about, and I've shared this with you, um, is I get older. I'm not afraid of death, just so everybody knows I'm just not afraid. I just don't want no painful shit to go down. Like, can I just be some peaceful, let me, you know, kind of thing. Um, and I think about, and you and I we've talked about this, like the memories of the things I have on my wall and how I have them up. But when I'm gone, some of them will only matter because they were for me, not for anyone else. And I've said to you, when I'm gone, throw everything, you don't have to hold on to anything. Just let it all go because at some point we're all forgotten. And that's the truth of the matter.

Candace Patrice: 46:50

I don't know, I don't know, because Jesus ain't forgotten. I'm just saying.

Janet Hale: 46:53

Okay.

Candace Patrice: 46:54

We ain't all forgotten.

Janet Hale: 46:55

Okay, okay. Okay. And so, like my my grand my grandfather's mother. We don't know anything about her. Uh my grandfather.

Candace Patrice: 47:13

I want to do a geniogram. Genogram.

Janet Hale: 47:16

Okay, and then my grandfather, and then his kids. Jimmy.

Candace Patrice: 47:28

You ain't gotta tell the world. I just want to know if you I will.

Janet Hale: 47:30

James Lee Bowie, I think. James Let Bowie.

Candace Patrice: 47:35

How you spell Let?

Janet Hale: 47:37

I think it's L-E-T. I don't know. L-E-T-T? I don't remember. But uh, I say all that to say this. At some point, you know, we're just gone. So make the best out of this life.

Candace Patrice: 47:48

We are, because the fact that I'm over here, like, do you know his name? I don't know it. So there we are. That part. So just like Kamari doesn't know great grandma. I have the memories of great grandma. Yeah, yeah. She'll look at a picture and be like, Who is that?

Janet Hale: 48:01

That's right. That's right. That's right. And yeah.

Candace Patrice: 48:05

I was um talking to a friend, uh, Angel, the other day, and we were talking about the words great grandmother, and how how significant they are. The first word is great. That part, the second word is grand, grand, the third word is mother. How important are all three of those words and how much weight do they carry? And you know, we just had this whole conversation and we went back to the first mother and how grand and great she is.

Janet Hale: 48:46

Oh, I like that.

Candace Patrice: 48:47

I know. We be getting deep, but I just wanted to cut out people's minds of the words, the the further you go in the lineage, the greater you get.

Janet Hale: 48:59

I like that. I know the great, I never broke it down.

Candace Patrice: 49:02

I know great, grandmother. I know, I know, I it blew my mind. I told her to stop talking to me.

Janet Hale: 49:11

The grandmother.

Candace Patrice: 49:13

Oh, and if you heard the conversation about mother, just that conversation, I'll fill you in after the podcast. Which we need to end. So, everybody, let me just say if there's if you're struggling, of course, you can call or text the suicide prevention lifeline at nine eight eight. It's available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Um, you can always email me at candisfleming at essentialmotivation.com. Go to the website essentialmotivation.com. You can get the podcast there. Well, you're listening to it. Here we are. Um, like, subscribe, uh, look at the events that's coming up, plug in, get into the email system so that you can find out what's happening, what's going on with us? Go to um hail empowermentlc.com if you're looking to get connected with Janet, get into any of her coaching sessions. We are looking forward to hearing from you. Did you have any last things to say, Mother Dearest?

Janet Hale: 50:18

Ah, just glad to be back.

Candace Patrice: 50:21

Me too. I'm glad to be back. I hope you all had a felt good about the episode. If you didn't, I did. I love the episode. I love my mom and I love what we do. Um, and uh, if you feel like you did love it, share it with somebody else. Let somebody else experience what you're experiencing. We look forward to it. Shoot us an email if there's something you want to hear talked about or hear that we have never talked about. We have some amazing guests coming up this season, some amazing conversations, just amazing things. So stay tuned, listen, listen. Always remember to love hard, forgive often, and laugh frequent. Thank you guys. We love you, and we'll talk to you later. Bye bye. Bye bye.