Essential Mental Healing
Essential Mental Healing
What if ADHD, Autism, and OCD Were Actually Superpowers? with Dr. Robert Melillo
It's Therapy Thursday and Season 4's wrap!
What if conditions like ADHD, autism, and OCD weren't permanent disabilities but rather brain imbalances that could be corrected? Dr. Robert Melillo, a pioneering functional neurologist with over 30 years of clinical experience and author of eight bestselling books including "Disconnected Kids," joins us to completely reshape how we understand developmental disorders.
Dr. Melillo's groundbreaking approach starts with a fundamental insight: most neurodevelopmental conditions reflect an imbalance between brain hemispheres rather than damaged or defective brains. He explains that the human brain develops primarily outside the womb, with right-brain development dominating the first three years of life. This critical period builds emotional intelligence, attachment capabilities, and self-regulation - foundations that can be disrupted by premature left-brain stimulation from excessive technology exposure.
The conversation takes a particularly fascinating turn when Dr. Melillo discusses the gifts often associated with these conditions. "Most people that end up with some developmental neurological issue are actually gifted with an area of their brain," he explains. Rather than dulling these talents with medication that merely manages symptoms, his comprehensive Melillo Method aims to balance the brain through targeted physical exercises, cognitive training, nutritional support, and dietary modifications.
Parents will find particular value in Dr. Melillo's insights about the brain-gut connection, explaining how brain immaturity affects digestion and immune function, potentially leading to food sensitivities and inflammation. He also addresses how his approach differs from conventional medication-based treatments, noting that most patients begin seeing significant improvements within just weeks of starting treatment.
Whether you're a parent seeking answers, a teacher working with neurodiverse students, or someone personally affected by these conditions, this episode offers hope beyond symptom management – a pathway to true neurological balance that preserves unique gifts while reducing limitations. Check out Dr. Melillo's resources at drrobertmelillo.com to learn more about his revolutionary approach to brain health.
Links:
Website: https://www.drrobertmelillo.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robert-melillo-a287b618b/
Twitter/X: https://twitter.com/DrRobMelillo
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrRobertMelillo/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/DrRobertMelillo
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@drrobertmelillo
Host Candace Fleming
Co-host Janet Hale
visit the website at https://www.essentialmotivation.com/
visit the store at https://shopessentialmotivation.com/
Instagram instagram.com/essentialmotivationllc
visit Janet's website https://haleempowermentllc.com/
To be a guest on our show email me at candacefleming@essentialmotivation.com
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Music by Lukrembo: https://soundcloud.com/lukrembo
Provided by Knowledge Base: https://bit.ly/2BdvqzN
Hello and welcome back to another episode of Essential Mental Healing, where I am your host, Candice Patrice, and joining me today is my lovely co-host, my mother Janet Hale. Hello, mother.
Janet Hale:Hello, hello, hello.
Candace Patrice:How are you I'm doing?
Janet Hale:good, good, I'm enjoying the sunshine. It's a beautiful day.
Candace Patrice:Good.
Janet Hale:In Detroit.
Candace Patrice:Yes, Well, I'm near Detroit. I'm in Westland, but I grew up in Detroit. This is our final episode and we have joining with us Dr Robert Melio. Did I say your last name correctly?
Dr. Robert Melillo:Melillo, melillo, melillo, yes.
Candace Patrice:I should have practiced that prior to.
Dr. Robert Melillo:There's a lot of L's.
Candace Patrice:Yes, you know, when I was doing the email, I was like hold on, there's an L an, I an L an L. Wait, is this right? I had to look at it like three or four times just to make sure.
Dr. Robert Melillo:My father used to say it's an L of a name, l of a name I love that.
Candace Patrice:I love that a lot. Well, how are you today? And then can you tell our listeners a little bit about yourself?
Dr. Robert Melillo:Sure, I am great. I'm actually in New York and it's not sunny, it's rainy, but I still am happy to be here. My name is Dr Robert Melillo. I'm a clinician. I've been a clinician for over 30 years, focusing in what's called functional neurology, functional neuroscience, and I work with mostly developmental neurological conditions like ADHD, autism, especially non-speaking autism, ocd, tourette's tics, and by developmental I don't mean just children, I mean we know that most adult mental health issues actually start in childhood from a neurological perspective, and we use a. You know I've developed a treatment approach called the Melillo Method.
Dr. Robert Melillo:I'm also a researcher. I've published over 100 scientific papers. I have multiple textbooks. I'm also an author. I have eight bestselling books, including Disconnected Kids, which just came out in its third edition. It's been translated into 18 languages and it's, you know, an instruction manual really about, mostly to parents, about your child's brain and how to understand it and what you can do to change it. I also, you know, we have two practices in New York and I also have two podcasts that I do one with my daughter out of Nashville, who's a musician, and we talk about all different types of mental health issues in the creative, artistic world. And that's me. Right now I'm the father of three and happily married for 36 years.
Candace Patrice:Awesome, what a heck of a intro. A heck of an intro. But also, you know, as I was listening to you, I was thinking about our children today. I went to a meeting Thursday evening and it was about the parents of generation A and trying to maneuver through this world of technology. And at what point is it too much for our kids? And if we've already given it to them, then how do we scale back? Like, what is that doing to our children's minds? And it sounds like you may have some answers to that. How does technology affect our young children's minds right now?
Dr. Robert Melillo:Yeah, it's a great question and I really I have looked into this because you know one of my degrees I have a PhD in developmental cognitive neuroscience because, again, from the very beginning I knew that almost all of these issues started in childhood and development, even in the womb or even preconception, and so I wanted to look at, you know, what can we do to prevent some of these issues, especially when we are actually seeing this epidemic rise and that is a big challenge right now. I feel bad for parents today because I didn't really have to face those issues with my child, but I have nieces and nephews and you know I try to advise them that I really don't think a child should be exposed to technology really before the age of three, but really in the first six years. But what happens is that when the brain is developing, remember that the human brain is unique in that almost all of our brain development happens outside the womb. Brain development happens outside the womb. Every other animal on this planet, most of their brain develops inside the womb or neg or in a controlled setting. Humans, because we have the biggest brain per body size but the smallest birth canal. Because we stand upright, our brain is only about 20% when we're born and so like 80% of our brain grows outside the womb and really our brain's only about 20% when we're born and so like 80% of our brain grows outside the womb and really our brain is still developing until we're probably in our forties, maybe even up to 50.
Dr. Robert Melillo:But certainly obviously in the first six years when the right brain is developing in the first three years and then the left brain comes on for the next three years. So the right brain development when we talk about emotional intelligence, we talk about building relationships, attachment, really wisdom, connecting to our body, learning how to regulate emotions obviously very, very important stuff. When we talk about our life and living with other people, the right brain needs to fully develop and what happens is that most technology phones, video games, ipads it is designed to activate the left hemisphere and this is also where our addictive networks are. So it's literally designed to be addictive for anybody really, but especially for children and if they're exposed to it too early and we can turn on that left brain too early and it shuts down that right brain and it interferes with our emotional development and social development. And I think we're seeing that more and more because it's exactly what we see in ADHD or autism or OCD or tics or Tourette's and some anxiety issues.
Candace Patrice:What made you get into this?
Dr. Robert Melillo:Well, I always really was fascinated with neurology from the beginning. When I started as a clinician, I really loved neurology and rehab. I was an athlete growing up so I was initially thinking, you know, I wanted to do some form of rehab. But then I really fell in love with the brain and neurology and I studied it and I got board certified in neurology and rehabilitation and so I really got into that from the very beginning and I was always into a more holistic, natural approach with diet, nutrition, all of that. But then two things happened really In 1995, I had been in practice for about 10 years.
Dr. Robert Melillo:I came home one day and there was a woman sitting in my kitchen table with my wife and she was crying. And my wife introduced me and said she had been at a fundraiser last night because her son had ADHD and maybe OCD and it was very difficult. She had tried everything and nothing seemed to work. And my wife, you know, knew I was already teaching, you know, on a graduate level, neurology and I was doing some research and I knew a lot about a lot of different things but I didn't know really what ADHD was or OCD was at the time. And so she asked me if I would help this woman. And I said I really don't know if I can help her. And she said, well, I have a feeling that you can and that you're supposed to do something with this. So I said okay, but then a few days later I went to a parent teacher meeting for my son. It was one of the first ones I'd ever gone to. He was in first grade and we sat down and the teacher said something, said you know, I don't know exactly, but I think your son might have something like ADHD or something like that. So now it hit me personally because you know, now she's talking about my son.
Dr. Robert Melillo:So right away, you know, as a clinician, someone supposedly an expert in neurology, I felt embarrassed, like how did I not know this in my son? How did I not see this, although he was my first child and I had no example. But then, also as a parent, I felt guilty, like I was to blame in some way, which is most of the parents that I work with feel that way and of course it's not our fault, but you feel that way. But I remember and I looked at my wife and I remember her saying you know, I think you're supposed to do something with this. So the first question in my head was what is it? What is happening in the brain? I already knew a lot about the brain and I was a rehab person, so I wanted to fix it. So I jumped in and first thing I wanted to do was answer that question.
Dr. Robert Melillo:And I went to colleagues of mine that were pediatricians, pediatric neurologists, psychologists, psychiatrists, and I said what is ADHD? What's happening in the brain? They all looked at me and said I don't know. I don't know if anybody knows. And I said, well, somebody's got to know. And they said, well, I don't think you can do anything about it anyway. And I said, well, you just told me you don't know what it is. How do you know? You can't do anything about it. That doesn't make any sense.
Dr. Robert Melillo:So I realized, okay, I needed to do the research myself and reach out and find other people. And I did, spent 10 years researching it, connecting with other researchers around the world, and I published my first textbook called Neurobehavioral Disorders of Childhood and Evolutionary Perspective. And when I published that book, I knew the answer of what was going on, at least as well as anybody at that time. But I had also, in that 10 years come up with a way of actually helping and changing helping my son and other children and was getting really good results. And that was really the foundation of this all for me and it was really. It's been like a lifelong obsession now in trying to understand these mysteries, especially like a question like why don't children with autism, why don't they speak? What actually prevents them from speaking?
Candace Patrice:actually prevents them from speaking. I enjoy research as well, especially when it's a topic that I'm really invested in, like. For me, it's mental health. Right now, it's how the brain works, it's the social psychology of it all, and then also incorporating faith with it. So I'm like a nut for learning right now, like feed me me, feed me Seymour. Janet has a question. Go ahead.
Janet Hale:I was listening talking about the children and the thing that came to my mind adults from the day, you know, back when, who had these you know, adhd, anxiety, and it was undiagnosed and not treated, and so, and then they have children and then so the child is dealing with, you know, trying to figure their little lives out, and then the parent is dealing with the same thing, is not aware. How do you or do you address that dynamic?
Dr. Robert Melillo:Yeah, that's a great question. Yes, okay, that dynamic.
Dr. Robert Melillo:Yeah, that's a great question, yes, okay, so one is most mental health issues. I remember as a young kid I'd, like you know, stories of successful people, famous people, artists, athletes, scientists, and I'm sure you remember, janet, also that the old saying there's a thin line between genius and insanity, right, and I always wondered about that, like, why, like, why did these people, many of them, seem to have tragic endings or get addicted to drugs or commit suicide, and why wouldn't they just happy if they were a genius, right? But I realized that, you know, that really speaks to my work now, because most people that end up with some sort of, you know, developmental, neurological issue, mental health issue, they're actually. It starts with them being gifted with an area of their brain and certain networks in their brain on one side or the other are stronger than most people. You know, when we talk about, I look at everything from a neuroscience perspective. So you know, when we talk about somebody's talented or gifted you know music, or they're intelligent, or they're really good in math what does that mean, right? What's actually happening in the brain? So what's actually happening and we've studied this is that there are networks that do different skills. You know, there's a network for music, there's a network for art, there's a network for socialization, there's a network for math and those networks in some people they're born with these networks a little bit faster, a little bit more connected, a little stronger than most people, and that is a trait that runs in the family. So their parents were probably good musicians.
Dr. Robert Melillo:I just told you about that young man we interviewed on my daughter's podcast whose both parents were musicians at Motown. He's got 11 kids in the family and all of them are incredible and he just was in the top five for American Idol and he was previous that it's the third person in in the voice, right, and all of them and the father was an artist and I mean so those talents come from the parent. Your beautiful daughter here is obviously a product of you and your talents, Right. So those, so those traits run in the family and that's a good thing, right. The parents and I tell them you gave your child a gift, but what happens is that child may actually have even stronger a gift than you, but they may also have stronger weaknesses, because we all have strengths and weaknesses. When we have a strength on one side, it comes with a little bit of a weakness on the other, and you know so that balance can be really disrupted. But when we look at that also, we know that there is something called epigenetics, which means that there's not none of these issues are gene mutations, so they're not. There's not none of these issues are gene mutations, so they're not.
Dr. Robert Melillo:You know bad genes that are passed on. If anything, what we see is that some of these genes might be turned off, and there are different things like stress, uh, how you know health issues, um, abuse, neglect. There's all different types of things that can impact our genes and in the old days we used to believe that. You know whatever happened, like we developed these things called methyl marks on our genes, that during conception they were wiped clean and everybody started with a clean genetic slate. We know that's not true that now we know that those methyl marks can be passed on for at least 11 generations and still affect people, and what they do is they turn off certain genes, and 84% of our genes are active during brain development. So the genes that are more likely to be impacted are ones that have to do with building and growing our brains. So there are impacts from the parent, from grandparents, great-grandparents, great-great-great-great-grandparents, but the good news is, all of that can be changed.
Janet Hale:I'm sorry, candice. Your answer made my soul vibrate. Whoa, Because wow, and this is going to sound weird, but I felt like my ancestors was dancing while you were talking.
Candace Patrice:Yes.
Janet Hale:Because I heard you talking about the things that we perceive to be a negative and how powerful it is when we turn it into what it really is Right, and that is the gift. Yes, thank you for the gift that you just gave me.
Dr. Robert Melillo:Oh, thank you. And that's why you know, what motivates me is that I look at this child or this adult that's suffering. You know I'm working with a young man who is bipolar right now and he is suffering so badly. I'm working with a young man who is bipolar right now and he is suffering so badly. He's, you know, a couple of suicide attempts and you know his parents are obviously worried, sick, and he's such a talented young man and you look at it and say, wow, you know, he's never. He's never really going to be able to use that gift which is so prodigious, because of these imbalances.
Dr. Robert Melillo:But we can change that and we can help those people. We know we can listen. We need all the geniuses in this world that we can right now, right. So, you know, especially in childhood, and and that's my goal always is to is to maintain the gift like a child, let's say, on the autism spectrum, that doesn't speak. They're geniuses, every single one of them, and everybody thinks they're not, they think they don't know anything and they're not there and they're intellectually deficient. And if it's actually, you know, really autism, they're not, they're geniuses, but they, they can't communicate it and when they do, it's unbelievable. So my goal, one of my main goals right now, not only is to understand that, but to give them their voice without taking that genius away, and we're able to do that the majority of the time.
Candace Patrice:So do you see individual clients and what is it that you do for individuals specifically? And how can somebody get on your books?
Dr. Robert Melillo:Yeah, we have two practices in New York, one on Long Island, one in New York City right across from the Empire State Building, and we actively see patients every day from all over the world, literally all over the world, and so patients can, you know people, can go on my website, drrobertmalillocom, they can reach out, they can book an appointment and, I have you know people can go on my website, drrobertmelillocom, they can reach out, they can book an appointment and I have, you know, great team staff that work with me, really incredibly motivated younger doctors, therapists, and this is what we work with every day and it's pretty intense. You know there's a lot going on, but we work with all ages as well. We have basically two rooms in our practice One is a childhood rehab room and the other is an adult. And to your answer, janet, also, what we often do is we will work with the parents and the child at the same time in the different room, right so? And the parent? That may be the only opportunity for them to do it, because they're so busy taking care of their children all the time, and we find that that's very important that if we don't change the brain in the parent, we may not be able to do it in the child, and what we do is really this comprehensive approach. It starts with an evaluation and we're, you know, trying to identify through different forms that I've created. You know, we look at things as all of it is this imbalance imbalances between networks, between the hemispheres.
Dr. Robert Melillo:We, I believe that almost every issue out there, whatever we label it is either, is a combination of areas on one side of the brain that are too active and areas on the other side that are underactive. And most of that is a maturity thing. Right, one side may mature faster than normal and the other side is maturing less than normal and there's these maturational delays. So first we need to identify, you know, what is this a right brain delay or overactive left or vice versa, and what areas of the brain are involved. Then we do a comprehensive neurological exam to really look at that in physical exam and then we do a bunch of functional tests that do cognitive measurements, like you know, looking at cognitive skills or academic achievement.
Dr. Robert Melillo:We do brain mapping to look at the brainwaves and the distribution of the brainwaves. We will do auditory, visual testing, looking at things like movement, core stability, strength, muscle tone, balance. We look at eye movements, we look at smell, we look at all of these different senses and to see if they're working properly. Are they where they should be? Is there difference from one side to the other? And then we put together a program. We do lab testing to look for things like food sensitivities and look at immune markers to see if they're in this inflamed state or so that we can put together a very specific diet. We give them very specific vitamins and supplements and then we implement that program and they come into the office or we design a home program for them as well and they're doing a combination where they'll come in first to a century motor rehab room and they do, you know, maybe a combination of 30 to 35 different things like physical exercises, as I said, you know, inner ear stimulation, eye movements, light stimulation, sound stimulation, music stimulation. You know aromatherapy, their vibration.
Dr. Robert Melillo:We're doing things to target specific frequencies in the brain. We use different electrical devices like transcranial direct or alternating current. We use different flashing light with different colors and different frequencies, specifically directed towards one side or the other. We will do also photobiomodulation or laser therapy where we target again specific networks, where we slow down certain brainwave frequencies and increase the other and improve the overall metabolic health of the brain. So it's a very, very comprehensive approach.
Dr. Robert Melillo:And then, once they do the physical part, then they'll go in a room and they do some cognitive-based stuff, whether they do academic training or whether they do some form of speech therapy with kids that, let's say, are non-speaking, we try to teach them to spell with a letter board and we teach the parents how to do that with them. Or we may do what we call neurofeedback, which is a way of helping to train the brain, getting to get into certain brainwave frequencies, and then, obviously, they're doing a home program at the same time, and then down the road, we reevaluate them and we use all of these functional measurements and objective measurements to really, you know, make sure that we're making changes that we would expect to see, we're not just trying to manage symptoms, that we're making changes that we would expect to see. We're not just trying to manage symptoms and we're not just trying to manage behaviors. We're looking at what is the root cause and how do we get rid of that or change that significantly.
Candace Patrice:Question yeah, does it have to be in person? Do you take insurance? And those are quick questions and here's my follow-up. So, after all of this work, does this make the person less of a superhero or more of a superhero with their superpowers? Because, after all this work is done, they're more balanced. But how does that play on their superhero, their super strength?
Dr. Robert Melillo:Yeah, no, that's a great question and that's one of the concerns. We see some parents because, you know, they know their child may be significantly struggling, but they also realize that their child has gifts that are really remarkable, and you know, and the parent will come in and say I don't want to get rid of their gift. They're such a special child. Is this going to do that? And you know, what I'm happy to say is that no, it doesn't. If anything, it allows them to tap into that gift even more because they're not distracted by those weaknesses.
Dr. Robert Melillo:Brain is more balanced, you know, they function at a higher level. And how do we know that One we've actually done. You know, I've done a lot of research on this, where we've done brain imaging before and after and we've done neuropsychological testing before and after and we've published a lot of papers on that. But also, like, for instance, in a child that is verbal and can do some academics, or an adult, we do a cognitive battery of tests where in a child, we're looking at things like their math, like looking at word. Reading is more of a measurement of a left brain function. Reading comprehension is a right brain function and we often see, let's say, kids that are dyslexic and they may have really low word reading but they might be really high in reading comprehension, which is a right brain skill.
Dr. Robert Melillo:I just had a child the other day who was in sixth grade. They were reading word reading at a third grade level and comprehending at a ninth grade level Right. And that that right there graphically shows this imbalance. How do you explain that? That should never happen. You should have more than a year difference in anything. And it really speaks to. That right side of his brain is so gifted and so talented and way mature beyond his age, three years above where he is, but then the left side is so immature relative to his age and there's a six year gap and that gap is where the symptoms live. That gap is where all the problems live, right.
Dr. Robert Melillo:So what we did was work with this child and we're now. We retested them and now what we see is that he is word reading at a 10th grade level and comprehending at a 10th grade level. So now he didn't lose the gift, the gift didn't come down. If anything, it went up a little bit, but we brought the weakness up. So balance because, like even in dyslexia, people hear oh, these are lifelong problems and there's nothing you can do about it. That's not true at all If you understand neuroscience.
Dr. Robert Melillo:In none of the things that I work with for the most part is there any injury to the brain. Is there any genetic mutation? Is there any metabolic disease? Is there any genetic mutation? Is there any metabolic disease? Most of these people are generally physically healthy. If you look at their brain, do MRIs or anything, they look perfectly normal. Their blood work is basically okay and they have genetic testing and it comes up negative. So why can't you change it? Right? The idea that you can't change it, it's just you have to have the knowledge of how to do that and when we do it it's life changing. I mean, because you know anybody with dyslexia. They can actually read better than most people if given the right opportunity and given the right treatment.
Candace Patrice:Wow, and then did can you do it virtual or does is it in person? And do you take insurance?
Dr. Robert Melillo:No, we do do virtual programs. Of course, when you're dealing with a lot of physical-based stuff, it's always great if we can see them in person. But we do do virtual programs all over the world and unfortunately, at this point it's not covered under insurance because what we do is so cutting edge and so far beyond where you know the mainstream medicine is, or psychology, or that you know insurance companies. And let me tell you, I mean, believe me, for years I worked in a practice where we did accept insurance and just over the years they paid for less and less and less and less and less. You know, our goal is to get other like school systems.
Dr. Robert Melillo:I did develop a group of centers in the United States called Brain Balance Centers. They are academic, using this science, their academic achievement centers, where you know they're like learning centers, but we utilize this and they've been around since around 2008. And there's about at one point there was over 100, but now there's about 70 or so around the country and there are a couple of states, like Wisconsin and Pennsylvania, that do pay for those programs because they're so effective, effective. So you know, we would like to hope that that will be the case more and more as we go down the road, because I also, you know, have a not-for-profit institute and I have some celebrities that are really big supporters, like a guy like Kevin James, yeah, so he you know they're committed to try to, you know, raise money on a not-for-profit side. So, you know, I want to make this available to everybody. But the good news is my book for basically $10 or $15, anybody can get a copy of my book and do this in their own home and get really great results.
Candace Patrice:This is what I wanted to ask, too, about your books. Are any of them on audiobook?
Dr. Robert Melillo:Yes, three of them are in audiobook. So my main book, disconnected Kids and that question right, that question right there. So you know, when we have a child, let's say that's dyslexic. To speak to your question earlier, many of the parents, the parents, are dyslexic but they also may be incredibly talented and gifted in certain areas and gifted in certain areas. And so what we find is that, you know, those parents often say, well, do you have an audio book? Because you know they, they, you know, would prefer to listen to the book. Some people just we, you know a lot of us are listening to podcasts and driving around and it's just more enjoyable. But you know that also speaks. That, you know, does this run in the family a bit? You know, did they also struggle with reading when they were in school and is that why they need that? But that's why it was very important for me to have these audio books done. The good news is I didn't read it myself.
Candace Patrice:I actually love your voice. I was going to say I hope to hear your voice on the audio books.
Dr. Robert Melillo:No, I was. I did have one celebrity mom that I was working with their child and when my third edition just came out of Disconnected Kids, she said to me. She said I'd love to read your book for you and I said I wish I don't make that decision. My publisher, penguin, does, but that was a very nice offer of her.
Candace Patrice:But yeah, anybody but Me is great does, but that was a very nice offer of her. But, yeah, anybody but me is great. That's hilarious. Okay, I have hold on, hold on. Wait, wait, wait. I have a question. Okay, so in the classroom we have students who are autistic, ADHD, and teachers that don't know how to deal with them or they're not skilled or trained, and you know, these kids get into this classroom and throughout the year there's all these other children and the children are held back because of the teacher's inability to work with their gifts. What would you suggest to teachers or what is happening in the classroom?
Candace Patrice:I don't even know the right question.
Dr. Robert Melillo:No, it's a great question and it is a big problem right now. I have also nieces and people in my family that are teachers and really teachers. I love talking to teachers, especially special ed teachers, because they're the ones that deal with this day to day. You know, most doctors have no idea. They really don't. I mean, they have no idea what's happening in the brain. They have no idea the scope of the problem. It's really teachers and therapists in the school that deal with this every day and it's a challenge and it's becoming more of a challenge.
Dr. Robert Melillo:That's why, you know, you hear people out there say oh, there really isn't an increase. We're not facing an epidemic of these childhood issues like autism. We're just recognizing it more. Go to the school teachers and ask them do you see more kids with these issues? And they'll look at you and go hell yeah, are you kidding me? We see so many kids now with these issues that didn't exist at this level 10 years ago, 20 years ago. So you know, the problem is in the school systems. They're just kind of trying to manage it. They're just trying to and many of these kids they literally just warehouse them. They think they're not teachable, they think that, you know they don't understand anything you know and teachable. They think that you know they don't understand anything you know, and they try to teach them, and you know they'll use things like ABA, which has a certain level of effectiveness. But the real answer, though, is that, you know, we need to change their brain. We need to. Actually, we need to deal with the root cause. We need to find out why it's happening, and we need to deal with that from a prevention side, but we need to be able to correct the actual problem.
Dr. Robert Melillo:But you know, I do. I have a young woman right now who's a doctor in PH, in physical therapy, and we've worked with her son, and we're working together because, you know, we want to go into schools and give teachers training on how to be able to help these kids and things that they can do, maybe in the classroom that can even address some of these, or gym teachers might be able to address them. You know, there's certain exercises. One of the areas of my research is an area called primitive reflexes, and this, to me, is a foundational problem these reflexes that infants are born with and that should go away at the end of the first year. What we've been showing is that they don't go away and when they don't go away in kids they end up producing these issues, and that this is a foundational problem and just through some stimulation of these reflexes or through different exercises that can be fun and safe, they can actually help to remediate some of these reflexes on their own. So, you know, these are things that I think we can get into a school system, that they could even do in a classroom or do in a gym class, or teach their therapists better, the OTs or the PTs that are in the schools to be able to help them.
Dr. Robert Melillo:Because, you know, it is very difficult to try to manage these behaviors for teachers and, as you said, many of them are not trained and they're overwhelmed and most special ed programs across. I had an, I was doing a lecture to a group of professionals and I had this one occupational therapist that came up to me and she said you know, my caseload is supposed to be like maximum, like 15 kids. And she said I'm working with 25 kids right now and they give me a little closet in the school and I see them once a week for an hour. What am I supposed to do? She's like what am I supposed to do. It's like you know, it's not enough, and that's part of the problem that we're facing in our schools right now.
Janet Hale:I wanted to say something. When you were talking earlier, when you talked about not treating the symptoms and how we are conditioned that if you have this, you have it for life. This is it, this is it. Keep that and wear that for the rest of your life. And to hear you talk about not treating, or what did you say?
Dr. Robert Melillo:Yeah, not just managing the symptoms.
Janet Hale:Managing the symptoms, but looking at how do we actually change things.
Dr. Robert Melillo:Right.
Janet Hale:You mentioned diet too, didn't you.
Dr. Robert Melillo:Yes, diet is a very important part. Yeah, yeah.
Janet Hale:And when I was listening to it and I thought, wow, if we all. Oh, and insurance. I wanted to say something about that, because the insurance I'm not into that, but a lot of times, isn't it? You have to check a box in order for it to, for you to qualify and then that turns into a whole different thing if you're running after that, right, and I appreciate hearing you talk about thinking outside the box so that you're not in that box.
Dr. Robert Melillo:Exactly. Yes, you know what I mean, and then that box.
Janet Hale:You're not really helping anyone.
Dr. Robert Melillo:Right, right.
Janet Hale:We're just getting that box feel. So it's really refreshing to hear you talk about that, but would you talk about diet as it relates to what you do? Sure?
Dr. Robert Melillo:When we look at the brain again, the brain controls everything and we're learning every day more and more, even like the brain's control over the immune system and the digestive system. So what we know is that when there is these immaturity or these imbalances in developing in the brain, it starts in the lower part of the brain called the brainstem, and in that area there are different nuclei that regulate the balance of what's called the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system. Sympathetic is the fight or flight, parasympathetic is called the rest and digest. When we're born, the sympathetic nervous system is on from the time we're born. We're basically we come into this world basically fighting, and it's supposed to be that way. And the parasympathetic won't really develop until really over the course of the first year. And when that sympathetic nervous system is on it keeps our digestive system immature for a reason. So our gut is what we call open and leaky, or more permeable in infants. And it's supposed to be that way because babies, in their immune system they don't produce antibodies yet and they need to get that from the mom's breast milk. And antibodies are these really large proteins that wouldn't get through a normal stomach lining if it was mature and closed up. So the baby is born with that and you know.
Dr. Robert Melillo:A lot of parents have heard that. You know or told that all these problems start in the gut. It's not really true. The gut is a problem, but it doesn't start in the gut. People hear that. Well, it starts with a leaky gut. Now, most people don't understand. We start out life with a leaky gut and it doesn't all of a sudden break apart. It never closes because the gut isn't maturing, but that's because the brain isn't maturing, and you know what happens. Also is we believe that part of the reason why the gut is open is that when we do eat food particles in the beginning, these larger proteins can also get through and the immune system can see them before the immune system is fully developed, so that we don't develop allergies to like peanuts or other things. So you know, we know now that, like exposing kids early to peanuts actually prevents them from getting allergies rather than not letting them have it until much later. And so what happens is that when this sympathetic nervous system in our gut is leaky, we're not producing acid and enzymes, we don't have a lot of blood flow to our gut and we don't have a lot of movement, and that's the way it's supposed to be. But as we're developing, as the baby's developing in the first year and as they're going through these different milestones, which are really important, the idea that, oh, all kids different at different ages in different ways is not true. By the end of that first year, and as that's happening, when a child starts having solid food and they start, you know, producing their own antibodies, the parasympathetic nervous system should start to kick in. And now that turns on and it starts to close the gut up, produce acid and enzymes and blood flow and we start absorbing vitamins and nutrients and minerals that we need to grow our body and our brain. And we, you know, we'll also make sure that we're moving waste along so we're not constipated.
Dr. Robert Melillo:What we know is that in any of these issues there's a disruption where most people that have these developmental delays.
Dr. Robert Melillo:They're still in this fight or flight state that parasympathetic or vagal system doesn't come on, so they're not digesting food really well, they don't absorb as many vitamins and minerals and nutrients, they may be constipated or have diarrhea, and also their immune system is shifted towards an inflammatory state and overactive, so now they may develop sensitivity to certain foods and certain proteins that are still getting through the stomach, lining that they shouldn't Things like gluten or casein.
Dr. Robert Melillo:No one should have antibodies. No one should have food sensitivities or food allergies. We should never have antibodies against food. We should never have it against our own body. Many of the kids and adults we work with have chronic eczema or asthma or they may even develop something called PANS or PANDAS, where they're attacking their own body. So you know, eliminating foods that we're sensitive to, giving them vitamins and nutrients that their brain needs, modulating their immune system so that we're reducing inflammation and promoting anti-inflammation All of that is important, but all of that is happening because the brain is out of balance. But we need to address all of that together to really be able to significantly change what's going on.
Candace Patrice:I have a question as far as medication. So, doctors, we get medications to manage our gifts. Do you feel that the medication reduces the gift too much, and how do you feel about medication?
Dr. Robert Melillo:Yeah, we don't use medication, but many of the people that come to us are on medication. I understand the use of it and it can be used to manage symptoms on a short-term basis, but we know that medication doesn't actually address the root cause and there are always side effects that come along with that medication and, as you said, many of them actually slow down the brain and actually make the brain less functional and may reduce the symptoms but also reduce the functionality of the individual's brain, especially over time. So and the other thing is, you know we see people that are often on multiple medications and what people need to know is that that's never been studied. There's only a few drugs out there that have ever been looked at. When there's, you know, two drugs used at the same time, but as far as more than two drugs, I'm not aware of any study that's ever been done that looks at that. So when you have a young child that's on three or four medications, we have no idea what that interaction might look like and whether it's actually helping or actually making them worse, because it's never been studied.
Dr. Robert Melillo:And also, most of the medications being used in the mental health world, especially in children, are called off-label drug use, meaning that they were like we have blood pressure medications that are used for kids with ADHD that's never been studied and many of these medications have never been studied in children, because it's very difficult to do studies with kids.
Dr. Robert Melillo:And so they're using these medications that were, you know, used for adult depression or, you know, for blood pressure or for seizures, never studied them in kids, but yet using them very aggressively in kids, studied them in kids, but yet using them very aggressively in kids. And so that's, you know, the problem. But the you know I understand that with a lot of parents they find that when the child is on the medication it might really work with their attention and calm them down and allow them to function, you know, in some sort of reasonable way, and I get it and that's okay. But our goal is to really get the brain functioning enough that they don't need the medication and get them off of it, and I think that's what everybody would want.
Dr. Robert Melillo:So, Except for, maybe, drug companies.
Candace Patrice:Exactly, but that's a whole nother podcast and some episodes to support and some you know. You know you've done all the work. How long does it take for someone using your method coming into your practice to see changes without medication? Let's say they can afford everything and they're like I refuse to go to medication. What does the turnaround generally look like?
Dr. Robert Melillo:I refuse to go to medication. What does the turnaround generally look like? Quite honestly, we usually see pretty powerful results very quickly. Within the first couple of weeks. We see changes that are obvious, that the parents will say to us I've never seen anything like this before. And it tells us that we're significantly changing the brain.
Dr. Robert Melillo:And it's important to understand that when I say change the brain, we're not trying to change the person, we're not trying to change the child. They're beautiful, they're amazing, as we talked about, but we just want them to be the best version of themselves. And if they have these imbalances, if they have these reflexes, if they have all this stuff going on with inflammation, they're not the best version of themselves. But when we look at our treatment plans to really get them to the goal, which is to hopefully catch them up to where they should be or get them to be that best version, it's usually around a year, some it's longer, some it's two years or even longer. Others it's a little shorter than that, maybe six to eight months, but on average we're looking about a year to 18 months is usually the way the treatment plans work.
Candace Patrice:And after that amount of time, would they still need to come back, or would they not need to come back ever again? They just need to practice what you've implemented. How does that work?
Dr. Robert Melillo:Yeah, usually, you know we're giving them an extensive home program that involves lifestyle changes, diet, nutrition, exercises. You know they're physically transforming their body and everything about it and once we're done, our goal is that they're done, that they, you know that they don't need to do anything else and we've given them the tools where we hope they'll continue with some of these exercises and with these lifestyle changes and taking vitamins and watching their diet and eating healthy. You know we hope they're going to continue to do that and I believe that most of them do, and that's our goal. Our goal is that, you know, has a beginning, a middle and end. At that end, we're very goal specific. Like we said, we're not just trying to get rid of symptoms, we're trying to get them into certain measurable functional levels. Um, and then we know, okay, they're there and now they don't need this anymore and then they can go on and live their life and be amazing people.
Candace Patrice:Now, what about someone coming to you who is on medication and they're looking to make a lifestyle change? How does that affect their outcome? One and then would they still need to consult with their primary care if they're getting off of medication, or would you be considered the doctor who can do that?
Dr. Robert Melillo:No, they'd still need to, you know, be overseen by the doctor that prescribes the medication. And the way we look at it is that you know, when someone comes in and they're on medication, you know we don't again mess with those medications right away, meaning that we're saying, okay, if this is working for you, that's fine. It does not interfere or stop, most of the time, any of our treatment. You know, medication doesn't really change functionality in the brain, so that's what we're looking to do. But what we do know is that we will tell them that at a certain point most people will say, if they're using medication, they'll say, when I take it, I feel different, I do feel better, or it does help me. Or when I give it to my child, I can tell that they calm down. And when the pill wears off or the medication starts to wear off, you know the symptoms may return a bit. But as we're working with them, they may start to notice that that doesn't happen anymore, that when the medication's wearing off there isn't a return of their symptoms, and then they may start to realize, okay, maybe we don't need the medication. And then they go back to their doctor and say, hey, I'd like to wean off or maybe, you know, go for a while with my child not having this medication and the doctors are usually happy to say fine, even though they never see that. You know, no one ever comes off medication. The medication usually just gets more and more and more and they're usually pretty shocked and they'd like to know how is this happening. But you know they're usually happy to do that and and that's that's usually the way. So it's just kind of this natural thing that you know.
Dr. Robert Melillo:The analogy I use with medication is imagine if you your knee and you tore some ligaments or cartilage or something and it was all swollen and inflamed and you needed to do some therapy. You needed to do rehab, you needed to do physical therapy to help heal it. And you're going to go and do physical therapy but just trying to do any exercises or any therapy is so painful that you need some pain medication to be able to, you know, be able to keep that in play, and some anti-inflammatory to reduce the inflammation. And so you know that allows you to do the therapy that helps heal the knee. And then when the knee is healed, you know I don't need this medication anymore, right, so then I can stop the medication, and to me, that's the way I look at it. Even with these mental health medications, that's the way it should be used.
Janet Hale:Is it? Can we talk about symptoms, some of the symptoms, would it? Sometimes? Is it better to kind of see what the symptoms are, because you're able to gauge things better, because everything's awakened, so to speak, and we're not doling down everything, yeah, and we're not able to, or you're not able able to monitor or gauge what it is, because it's so dormant.
Dr. Robert Melillo:Yeah, one of the hardest things and it's a really good point you make is what we don't want when we don't want a lot of messing with the medications. And we certainly don't want to see and you're right sometimes these medications because again, we don't know what a lot of these interactions are going to look like, medications, because again we don't know what a lot of these interactions are going to look like. And so you know, if we're working with a patient, you know we often say, please, whatever medication they're on, just keep it like it is right now, because this is their baseline. And we don't know, you know, how can we monitor what we're doing and if what we're doing is helping. If you keep on introducing new drugs or change the dosage significantly or remove certain drugs, you know now we're adding a whole different variable and we don't know what that variable is going to look like. And we don't know.
Dr. Robert Melillo:You know, are these symptoms getting worse because of what we're doing? Are they getting worse because of the medication? Is this actually a good thing, as they're coming off of the medication, you know? Is this a withdrawal symptom? So that's the thing. It can be confusing. So that's what we say, right for the majority of the time. You know, just don't mess with it right now, because if you start messing with it then that can really confuse the picture and that can really confuse the picture.
Candace Patrice:So for somebody and I know we're about to wrap it up but for someone who is unable to come to the practice or maybe can't afford it, but they still are interested in what you have going on your program, which book should they start with and in what order should they go to kind of get a full picture?
Dr. Robert Melillo:Sure, disconnected Kids is the primary book and it's like I said, the third edition just came out and even though it's, you know, disconnected Kids and it's really kind of written and directed towards parents of children, I always say that, you know, ultimately even these adult mental health issues started in childhood. So reading it yourself gives you a window into you as a child, into your child brain, and many of the same techniques are going to go back and be used to help adults and children. So, disconnected kids, and then you know as the treatment is going along, because there are going to usually be pretty dramatic changes. The second book is called Reconnected Kids, which is what to expect and how to understand the changes that might be coming about. And then the third book I wrote was called Autism the Scientific Truth of Preventing, treating and Diagnosing Autism Spectrum.
Dr. Robert Melillo:So a lot of the things that we hear in the news now about autism and things that can cause it and that it is an epidemic. I was the first person to write a book on preventing these issues and I'm not booking that in 2013. And it's still. I think it speaks to what's the cause, how, why is this happening, and you know what really is happening and how, as an adult, you might be able to, you know, work with your body so that you might lower your risk of having a child with an issue or a disability and understand it a little bit better and deeper. And then my fourth book is called Disconnected Kids the Diet and Nutrition Plan, which is all about, you know, looking at diet and nutrition in these issues from a neurological perspective and understanding that and yeah so. And then I have multiple, you know, three editions of of of two of the books.
Candace Patrice:So, oh, okay, I just thought of a question and I okay. So if someone brings you their child at an early age diagnosed with autism and let's say I don't know which end of the spectrum, but let's say it's severe and they come to you early enough, have you noticed or is it possible to prevent some of the adult stimming or the things that are that naturally happening as a child with autism gets older and they're kind of in this box and they are to themselves and they stim if they come early enough? Is that something that's preventable or you can help navigate in the long run?
Dr. Robert Melillo:No, it's something that, again, we can literally prevent. I've done in the written papers, one of the most read papers ever on. You know what's actually happening in the brain, in stimming or tics, or in OCD? Where does it come from? What is the actual problem? Again, and it has to do with overactivity of certain networks in an area called the Brodman area six, the supplemental motor area on the left side, in its relationship to something called the basal ganglia and the direct pathway. And it's overactive because it's underdeveloped on the right side. And that imbalance in these networks and in this area of the brain is actually what produces ticks and stimming and we can completely eliminate that.
Dr. Robert Melillo:I mean, if you saw Kevin James talking on Joe Rogan, he talked about how his daughter, you know he brought her.
Dr. Robert Melillo:She was on the autism spectrum, high functioning, but she had developed these horrible tics that were just like screaming, yelling, hitting herself, and hundreds of them a day, and we were able to get rid of them in about four weeks by specifically targeting these areas in her brain.
Dr. Robert Melillo:And you know, we have a certain percentage of the kids that are labeled with autism, even kids that are non-speaking, that really completely lose their diagnosis and you would not even know that they would. They had had an autism diagnosis. There are some kids and some adults and, as you said, the earlier we get to them, the the easier it is to manage, but there are some. You know that it's it's harder to really reduce it, but we do reduce the stimming and ticks in everyone. We may not always get rid of them completely, depending on how much time and how effective and you know you get an older kid that's big and and it may be hard for them to do, or hard to get them to do, some of the activities or some of the treatments that might help. They may not, you know, they may refuse to take certain vitamins or things like that. So it's depending on the factors, but in many cases we can completely reverse these things or eliminate them.
Candace Patrice:Thank you for that. Thank you, this has been a great learning experience and I'm excited. I want to read the books. I think I have self-diagnosed ADD.
Dr. Robert Melillo:Like I said, right away, it tells me you're actually gifted in something which obviously you're here, notice.
Candace Patrice:I call it a superpower.
Dr. Robert Melillo:It is, it is, it is a superpower right.
Candace Patrice:I'm like I can create multiple things guys. Look, this is cool.
Dr. Robert Melillo:Exactly, but you just got to get rid of the kryptonite, that's all.
Candace Patrice:That part. So I'm definitely interested in reading the books. Is Disconnected Kids on audiobook too.
Dr. Robert Melillo:Yes.
Candace Patrice:Oh nice, I can start early.
Dr. Robert Melillo:Disconnected Kids, reconnected Kids and, I think, the Diet Nutrition book. I think those three are all on audio.
Candace Patrice:Okay, perfect. So I'll be getting started soon and I'll shoot you an email let you know what I thought of it. All right, of course, if anybody is suffering and needs assistance, you can dial 988 or text 988, which is the Suicide Prevention Lifeline. You can find the doctor on all of his platforms, which will be listed in the show notes. Could you give them to us one more time, and where we can get the books from?
Dr. Robert Melillo:Sure, dr Robert Melillocom is the primary website on Instagram, twitter, twitter, whatever it's called Facebook, it's Dr Robert Melillo at Dr Robert Melillo and I have, you know, over a million followers on Instagram now, so I'm pretty active on there. We're always putting up really cool information and I and they can, if they want to schedule appointment or learn more information. I do respond to messages as much as I can, but you can always just go to the website or go to info at drrobertmelillocom and you can request an appointment or information at any time. And then I have a couple of podcasts out there one with my daughter called the Right Brain, w-r-i-t-e Right Brain, and it's really pretty cool.
Dr. Robert Melillo:We've been working and interviewing some of the top young talents in music, in songwriting, who also suffer with a lot of you know, had things like dyslexia and have a lot of anxiety and social anxiety and self-esteem issues, and you know it's very interesting and unique. I think you'll relate to it because a lot of what you're describing, you know, like feeling like you're ADHD but incredibly creative and can do multiple things at the same time, but that you know maybe you prefer to have an audio book than reading a book that you might really relate to this podcast, these right brain dominant issues that are pretty cool. So, anyway, that's where people and they can buy my books anywhere. Penguin is the number one publisher in the world, so Amazon and anywhere else where they sell books they can get my books.
Candace Patrice:Perfect, any last words, mom, that you want to give the listeners.
Janet Hale:Oh man, this was such an educational experience, and a spiritual one as well. Thank you so much. This is the least we've talked on a podcast, candice and I Ever, so thank you least we've talked on a podcast, candice and I, ever, so thank you.
Dr. Robert Melillo:What we may have to do is do me and my daughter with our podcast, getting you and your daughter together.
Candace Patrice:I think that would be great. I think it has to happen, all right. Thank you guys. So much for listening. Of course, you can find me at Candice Well, candice Patrice Motivates on Instagram We've landed and you can find me at the website, essentialmotivationcom. Email Candice Fleming at essentialmotivationcom. If you guys have even thought that you're struggling with any of these neurological situations or you've been diagnosed, please go to the website. Um, dr, I'm gonna say it right Malili Malilo.
Dr. Robert Melillo:Dr Robert Malilocom.
Candace Patrice:Dr Robert Malilocom, it's in my in my mouth, um. Melillocom, it's in my in my mouth, um, he has a wealth of knowledge and, as you've heard, he has been doing this for a while. Not only has he researched. I was going to ask, like, did you self teach? But yes, that's a part of what you did as well. There wasn't just the school education, there's let me take this a step further, let me implement this. So, when education meets experience, you got a good one, guys. So, um, I definitely suggest reading the books, going to the website, booking the appointment, um, yeah, so, thank you, guys. Remember to always love hard, forgive often and laugh frequent. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Bye, guys.
Janet Hale:Bye, debbie, thank you.
