The Autism Voyage: Finding Peace in Acceptance From Denial to Financial Planning with Michael Pereira

Michael Pereira's journey from corporate traveler to autism advocate began when his son Christian started showing developmental concerns around his first birthday. Like many parents, Michael and his wife initially struggled with denial – a phase he now recognizes was rooted in focusing on their own feelings rather than their child's needs. "The extent of denial reflects the extent of selfishness," Michael shares with remarkable candor, explaining how acceptance finally allowed them to move forward and create real solutions.

The turning point came when COVID temporarily halted Michael's 80% travel schedule, revealing how his son's symptoms improved with his consistent presence. When travel resumed, Christian's difficulties with transitions, head-banging behaviors, and communication regressions returned, ultimately leading to his autism diagnosis. Rather than immediately seeking external support groups, the family chose to strengthen their internal bonds first – a powerful reminder that healing journeys aren't one-size-fits-all.

What makes Michael's story particularly valuable is how personal challenge transformed into purpose. Frustrated by financial advisors who couldn't address special needs planning without trying to sell products, he created The Autism Voyage, a resource helping families navigate everything from early diagnosis to financial security. His comprehensive approach focuses on three critical areas: income protection strategies, using life insurance to fund special needs trusts, and long-term care planning – protections many families don't realize they need until it's too late.

Beyond practical advice, Michael offers profound wisdom about balancing the needs of both his children (Christian with autism and three-year-old Amanda), choosing positive mindsets daily, and embracing discomfort as necessary for growth. As former IBM CEO Ginni Rometty wisely noted, "Growth and comfort cannot coexist." For anyone navigating unexpected challenges in parenting or life, these words and Michael's lived experience offer both comfort and courage to move forward.

Michael Pereira, Founder of The Autism Voyage®, helps parents of special needs children navigate financial and life-planning challenges. As a financial professional focusing on insurance planning, and autism dad himself, Michael knows firsthand how critical it is to have a proactive plan in place. His mission is to bridge the gap between insurance strategies and real-life challenges, empowering families to secure their future with confidence. No one understands the challenges, wins, and fears quite like another parent walking this path.

• Website: www.TheAutismVoyage.com
• Instagram Personal: https://www.instagram.com/autismdrivendad/  
• Instagram TAV: https://www.instagram.com/theautismvoyage/ 

Chapters

• 0:00 Meeting Michael and His Story
• 5:40 From Denial to Acceptance in Autism
• 11:20 Creating a Family Support System
• 18:30 Finding What Works for Your Child
• 30:00 Comprehensive Financial Planning for Special Needs
• 42:30 Growth, Discomfort, and Final Thoughts

Transcript

Candace Patrice: 0:05

Hello and welcome back to another episode of Essential Mental Healing, where I am your host, Candace Patrice, and, joining me, as always, my lovely, lovely, lovely mother, janet Hell.

Janet Hale: 0:24

Hello mother. Well, she got an accent and everything this morning. Good morning, good morning, good morning.

Candace Patrice: 0:32

And we also have a lovely, lovely guest today. Michael is with us today. Hello Michael, how are you?

Michael Pereira: 0:41

Hello, hello. Thank you so much for having me Excited.

Candace Patrice: 0:44

Yes, yes, absolutely, we are you, hello, hello. Thank you so much for having me Excited. Yes, yes, absolutely. We are excited to have you here, excited to touch on some different areas today than we have in the past and hearing a new journey of recovery, healing just your journey. Would you tell us a little bit about yourself today?

Michael Pereira: 1:07

Of course, of course. So, michael Pereira, here I'm the founder of the Autism Voyage. Everything started I would say a couple, this initiative started a couple of years ago. So let me just long story short, let me see if I can reframe this in a way that it's not overwhelming. So I came from corporate traveling, I would say, 80% of the time never home. That was the pace for 10 years. And upon that lifestyle met my wife and we wanted to do our own American dream. So we got married, bought a house and got pregnant with our first child, Christian Omar.

Michael Pereira: 1:48

And around when he was, I would say, one year old, we started seeing symptoms that we knew that needed to be addressed. But I would say, as the majority of the parents, we were in denial. We were in denial and that denial phase was some time. So we obviously, between that and listening to family, I would say that in some cases, hey, don't worry, he doesn't have anything. You were the same that obviously procrastinates early intervention, right. Luckily for us, he was so young that, even though if we tried, you know I would say it's not that accurate but COVID came by, was able to stay here, no travel, a lot of those symptoms reduced, don't know why. But then when COVID released that, I started traveling again. I think that that's where all the symptoms returned, because he wasn't good with transitions. So a lot of hitting his head against the wall, tippy-toeing, aligning stuff. He was nonverbal. Then he started talking a little bit, but then he regressed. So we knew that at one point we needed to address it. We were able to get him diagnosed. Point, we needed to address it. We were able to get him diagnosed.

Michael Pereira: 3:07

And that's where, I would say, comes the real story of how the blog was created. I started looking for other employers to see if I can do the same thing but travel less. Couldn't find it. And at the same time I started to look for financial advisors, planners, and everybody just wanted to sell me something or recruit me. Nobody really knew how to talk to me about special needs, trust, guardianships, power of attorneys, how you can use life insurance to fund the special needs, trust if needed. And we became very frustrated and we just say, okay, I already was in financial services. So we said, let's see if we can help families like ours. We tried other things but we ended up in special needs and we developed a blog that basically caters to a lot of topics. Any parent going through early diagnosis, post diagnosis would ask themselves. So I hope it wasn't too much, but that's basically it.

Candace Patrice: 4:10

No, no, that's awesome. I have it made my brain want to ask questions. But before I start jumping into the questions, I just want to do a quick check-in and see how you're doing today. How have you been? How's the week been?

Michael Pereira: 4:26

Oh, good, good, good, Everything's good. I think that it's good because we decide it's good, right? We usually parents in the special needs community. Whoever's listening knows that we're always in survival mode and obviously you decide how you want to react to a lot of things that go on in the day-to-day basis, because there's a lot of ups and downs Not in a bad way, but so many mixed emotions because you don't know if they're going to call you from the school, you don't know if he's going to like what you cooked, so forth. So I think everything's good. But it's because we decided and obviously we leave everything in God's hands.

Candace Patrice: 5:08

Nice, I love that. Mom. How are you doing today?

Janet Hale: 5:12

I'm doing really good and I really appreciate the things that say your name, michael, michael, michael, okay, I'm sorry, but I really appreciated what he, what the things that he mentioned and the self-care that he and his wife took in their own hands, and I think that most of us, whether we're dealing with special needs or not, need to take heed to that, because we are in this rat race of life. If we choose to be, I love that when we choose to be. So, for me, and how I'm doing, is that I'm choosing to kind of step back and relax a little more, not get caught up in the people pleasing and how much money can I make? And let me hurry up and do this and I got to have. No, I do not.

Janet Hale: 6:04

What I need is what I loved about what you and your wife did was sit down, take time out and let me become the most important person, and if I had children that were in the home, that would be the you know, the same sentiment. So I really appreciated what you said and it touched me in a certain kind of way, you know, thank you, thank you, thank you for that.

Candace Patrice: 6:29

I also like that, the taking time, and I think even without having special needs children, we still have to choose to have a good day. We have to choose that In mental health. It's important for everyone to look at themselves and say you know what. I'm going to make a decision, no matter what happens. Today's a good day and if it's something that interrupts or doesn't look like what you expected it to look like it's, how do I use that for my good. You know how do I turn that around.

Candace Patrice: 7:00

I had a birthday, april 2nd, 37. I'm excited, but I chose to sit down for my birthday alone. I went and got me a hotel room for two days and I was alone. It was while my daughter was with her father, so it didn't take away from my parenting time. Um, I took two days off work and I treated myself to Benihana's. I went to the movies, I went to the mall I had. The manager gave me free breakfast on my birthday that morning, so I had out to Texas Road or took us out to Texas Roadhouse on my birthday.

Candace Patrice: 7:48

So you know that sitting down and sitting back and relaxing is, and making that decision is so important. And also, you know, I hear, I heard you say you know, with special needs, you never know what his temperament is going to be, if he's going to like the food that you cooked. Well, guess what? Me either. I thought about that.

Janet Hale: 8:09

Yeah, I was like special needs and everyone else. I might wake up and not like what I'm doing, okay, and I'm in the house all alone. You know I have to deal with all these things alone, 100 percent how old is your um, your son?

Michael Pereira: 8:32

well, you have more than you have two children yeah, yeah, yeah, christian he's, he just turned seven and amanda she's three oh nice, how, uh, what's the dynamic like between the two of them?

Candace Patrice: 8:43

because, because, what's his name? Christian?

Michael Pereira: 8:45

Christian.

Candace Patrice: 8:46

Christian is the the special needs kid, correct?

Michael Pereira: 8:49

He has autism, yeah.

Candace Patrice: 8:50

Yeah, how do they, how do they maneuver together?

Michael Pereira: 8:56

I, amanda, has been a blessing for him, I would say, because I would say he had a one point, because I would say he had a one point hit. Let me see how I can say this Even though he's seven, in reality, he has an attitude of five or four I mean so does all of us at one point, yeah exactly you and me.

Michael Pereira: 9:18

So it came to a point that Amanda is like almost from a developmental standpoint. You know he gets along with her, he follows, you know her lead a lot of during the day when they're together. But it's a really good dynamic because, again, I think that when I say decided, we here as a family unit, here as a family unit, we try to incorporate a balance between raising a child on the spectrum and a child who's not on the spectrum and we don't treat one more special than the other one, we try to be equal so they can feel that both of them are treated equally. And one of the things that we've seen, for example, even though Amanda has been a blessing for Christian in regards to behavior, they play together.

Michael Pereira: 10:12

Now Amanda, on her side, we believe that, for example, she needs speech because Christian at one point was nonverbal. So she was nonverbal because she didn't have anybody to practice with. So in that extent, now she's taking speech therapy because we believe, again, there's a lot of factors to go there, but she's three and she still is struggling from from a speech standpoint. And we believe, again, it's because christian started talking a couple, I would say, a year and a half ago yeah and when I say talking just a couple words, because it's still not conversational, so you know.

Michael Pereira: 10:48

but it's a really, really good dynamic because, again, we're trying to some way somehow be supportive but at the same time trying to focus on the strengths of each one at its most.

Candace Patrice: 11:03

You know, I hear that and I think what a blessing it is that they have you guys to even want to take action, like she's not diagnosed with anything and you're still like, but I want to make sure that you're okay. So we're going to get you in speech therapy because that's what we believe is best for you, not what everybody else believes and what they think. And, like you said in the beginning, you know, listening to family kind of created a delay. Listening to others created a delay, but now it's. You know, I see things, I can do it my way or, you know, your family's way, and doing that is, I think, so great. And I think that I've been watching the Good Doctor. I was going there, candace, me and my mama Binging the Good Doctor. Actually, I just started season two, by the way, ma.

Janet Hale: 11:55

Okay.

Candace Patrice: 11:58

And I think that she will have an advantage in life being able to maneuver autism and just and anyone in general, because she has a broader perspective, and I remember, on one of our other podcasts talking about diversity, equity and inclusion and how we don't think of certain things because we're not in the situation and by her being in a dual situation, it broadens her horizon for inclusiveness, you know. So great job, that's all Great job.

Michael Pereira: 12:41

And even though, again, christian is very functional, but you know, she's learning a lot from him as well. So we're excited, we're excited. But I think this you know, when I say decide, when we decide to have a good week, when we decide, I think everything came about in the acceptance phase. That changed, you know, because we can be in denial and what I've learned is just being in denial just reflects how selfish I am, and because I'm only thinking about what I think, what I feel, what I thought, and that as long as, for example, the extent of the denial just reflects the extent of your selfishness. When we got into the acceptance phase, it was okay, that's fine, nothing's happened. We're just going to be more supportive. This is it. I'm okay, he's okay, everybody's okay.

Michael Pereira: 13:42

Now it's a different mindset. It's about more acceptance, more being adaptable, being flexible. Understand that you can control only what you can control and just be, be that. But I think that I'm talking to you today, but it's been six years, that ups and downs, in the dark moments, in the high. So anybody who's hearing it, even though it sounds good, because I'm saying after six years in the, in the trenches, what I would say is that my switch was in the acceptance phase. Just accept, whatever your lifestyle, whatever's happening, just accept it and see it as an opportunity, not a victim, and understand that that it that it affects other people, not just only you. So that's it.

Janet Hale: 14:31

May I weigh in? Okay, go ahead, and I was listening. And what's your oldest child's name?

Michael Pereira: 14:39

Christian.

Janet Hale: 14:40

And how him, entering into the space, created a healing for everyone in that home. And the reason why I say that is because he is the one who unlocked what you said, the denial phase. He's the one who unlocked the denial, you guys being more self-aware. He is the one who brought all the things to open up the universe. And you know, when we can look at like you said, we can look at a situation I could be devastated, or I could say you know what? And you made me think of something. Everybody that listens to this podcast knows I'm in recovery, and so one of the prayers is God, grant me the sovereignty to accept the things I cannot change right, to give me the courage to change the things I can right and the wisdom to know the difference. And he brought the wisdom to the equation, from what I hear, which is awesome, you know, and it's really about cracking ourselves wide open, because that's what he I don't know I'm talking.

Michael Pereira: 15:43

You're probably like that's not what happened, but it sounds that way no no, but it is at the end of the day.

Michael Pereira: 15:50

I think everybody goes through this phase in any situation in life. I've seen, for example, parents that I know not that I know because I'm not a medical professional but you can tell that the child needs help and they haven't looked for the help and they're in denial and the kid's already nine, 10. And you're like, oh my God, what's happening? It's going to be very difficult and when you talk to him, it's completely in denial. And that's where I say that's basically your definition of selfishness, because the kid is nine, ten, he's struggling, You're seeing it and you're only thinking about yourself, how you feel, and the only one who's getting affected is the child.

Michael Pereira: 16:33

Right, but this can apply in every, I would say in. Everybody's has their own issues and as long as you're in denial, you're just thinking about your benefit, the way you feel. And I would, you know, recommend anybody who's going through a denial phase to just you know, even if you're in the like I was, or my wife at 2 am looking for information because we didn't want to talk to anybody just understand that you're not alone, that if you're going through anxiety or whatever uncertainty, you're not alone, that if you're going through anxiety or whatever uncertainty, you're in the right place, because that's the symptoms that everybody in denial goes through.

Candace Patrice: 17:12

I have a scripture I want to give you, because I heard you speak about God.

Janet Hale: 17:18

And we're foundation of wisdom.

Candace Patrice: 17:29

Knowledge of the Holy One results in good judgment. I mean that's Proverbs 9, 10. Relationship, possibly with God, resulted in that good judgment to give you that wisdom and knowledge to be able to move forward in the best way for your family. But I want to ask a question too. You mentioned that it sounds good now, but it wasn't always like this. For the relatability of the listeners, would you share with us a little bit about those dark times? Yeah, of course.

Michael Pereira: 18:13

Like it's. Let me see, you know, waking up at 2 am, your child's hitting his head against the wall. At that moment it's like, okay, what's happening? It's a very dark moment because you're saying is this going to be long term? Is this going to be something that's a phase that's going to go out? Is it going to get to a point that it's going to hit him himself so hard it's going to be injured, and it gets to a point that it's going to hit him himself so hard it's going to be, you know, injured. And it gets to a point that you then become overprotective. You, you know there's a lot of things that happen there.

Michael Pereira: 18:53

Uh, we were a long time without going out to a restaurant because obviously, he, he had some. Just as an example, let's say, just going out to the mall and going to the public bathroom, those blowers to dry their hands. From a sensory perspective, he didn't. It was a meltdown there, or just a blender here my wife blew drying her hair. There were a lot of moments that, you know, it may sound simple, or, oh, that's fine, nobody. In reality, for us it was okay. When is this going to be exhausted from him, you know? Or is this becoming each time. It's going to be a heavier meltdown, right. But what we did is okay, let's see what we can do.

Michael Pereira: 19:39

We started doing more activities. We took away the tablets, we took away tvs, we started um to see how we can incorporate him into sports, like, for example, we got him first in soccer. He didn't work because he had something called elopement. Elopement is when he just runs away without any consequence and and in an open field. In soccer, believe me, elopement was there, so it wasn't good. Then we got him into swimming. He saw it more as a play date and didn't really learn how to swim. So we then said, okay, what can we do? That's closed. But at the same time he can learn.

Michael Pereira: 20:22

We got him into jujitsu. That was a game changer because then he was forced to be sociable, because he wasn't. He was forced to imitate other children because he didn't have any other brothers. He was forced to follow instructions and talk. So that environment it wasn't much of the class, it was more about the experience. He was going day in, day out and that helped us a lot.

Michael Pereira: 20:50

But we needed to sit down each time that something was happening and stop panicking and calling everybody. We just sit down as the parents and say, okay, what can we do? There's something we need to do because he's very functional. You see him, he looks you straight in the eye. You tell him hey, christian, how are you? He's going to say Kung Fu Panda, he's there.

Michael Pereira: 21:15

But it came to a point that there were moments that we said, oh, this is tough, and there's a lot of family that don't understand and there's a lot of we don't have a lot of friends who go through this moment, so your circle gets smaller. You're like, oh my God. But that's where I would say, god comes in and you know just everything in God's hands and trying your best, I would say, again, it sounds easy now and it sounds a walk in the park, like I'm talking to you right now, but it's not. And what I?

Michael Pereira: 21:48

I think what I want to express here is that you're not alone, right, um? I think that we, when you, we started seeing um, there was a business coach that he said a quote that changed, I would say, my life. He mentioned in the business webinar, was saying, hey, you've got to see things, that it's not your fault, but it's your problem. And but if we translate it to our, I would say, situation. It's not our fault, but it's our responsibility, and you know when you're accountable, you take ownership for stuff. I think you know God blesses you in a way that you haven't seen before.

Candace Patrice: 22:31

What is the? I know you told us earlier, but can you remind us the name of the blog for anyone who wants to go and read that and where they can find it?

Michael Pereira: 22:41

Yeah, it's wwwautismvoyagecom. Okay, yeah, it's a, it's a blog. You're going to see a lot of blog posts from music therapy. Is behavior therapy only for autism? You're going to see blogs around haircuts because of sensory issue overloads. You're going to see how martial arts helps special needs. There's blogs that talk about the difference between I don't know autism and other, and then there's other blogs that talk about trust funds for disability, for disabled children, guardianship. Then we have other ones that talk about more of an entrepreneurship perspective, because we believe here in our household that you need to acquire some sort of skill set, because it's very difficult when you have a son or daughter taking 28 hours of therapy a week and be able to also have a nine to five job. So we believe in some sort of skill set that helps you buy your time back, either with an employer or taking the leap of faith of having your own business.

Candace Patrice: 23:52

I want to get into that in a second, but I want to ask you you said that you know you were traveling and you noticed that there was regression during your traveling. Covid kind of showed you he was able to balance out, but then you began traveling again. How long did you travel Like? How many years was your traveling and how often did you have to travel, and how long were those increments of travel when you had?

Michael Pereira: 24:22

to go. The main travel was prior COVID, because after COVID I was traveling 80% of the time that was my main thing to land America. And when COVID released not that much because I think everybody was starting to get accustomed again to that rhythm, but um, I would say maybe a couple years after cope, maybe months after covet uh released, that I started thinking. Actually, within coven I was already thinking what can I do to go into entrepreneurship, because I know that this is not going to be for long. I know that COVID for us was for me specifically. It helped me be present because I wasn't right and actually I started to get to know my wife a little bit more because I went home. But it was some time and after that, I think, ups and downs, trying to start things. A lot of initiatives didn't happen. I dabbled into a couple of projects and until I said you know what I need to stay true to myself and this is what exactly is happening right now. So let me see how can we help other parents.

Janet Hale: 25:42

May I jump in, candace? I know you have questions. And he reminded me of something when COVID came up and I wrote down. When he said COVID came by, and I took that literally COVID came by, covid paid a visit to all of us and in some ways COVID and I know it's going to sound a little weird, but I'm weird, so it's okay. In some ways, covid was a gift, and the reason why I say that is because for a lot of us, we were made to sit down, like we were all made to like sit down right now.

Janet Hale: 26:18

And during that time Candace lived with me and I'll never forget. Every time I say I'll never forget. She don't remember, but that's okay. One day she said Ma, you know, I'm glad COVID came. I said you glad? She said yeah, because I'm here. We're here, ma, and that was so beautiful because in my home, before that came down, you know the lockdown we were in here and it was my daughter, my daughter-in-law and my granddaughter, the son-in-law and my son-in-law, yes, and I got to have a whole new relationship with him, right.

Janet Hale: 26:58

In a good way, and so COVID did come by, and I took that as literally COVID coming by yeah you know what I mean. And so COVID. It provides, I think, some gifts. Not everyone would agree with that, and that's okay. The other thing I wanted to say um, you talked about you made your son go to the martial arts, is it?

Michael Pereira: 27:24

Mm-hmm.

Janet Hale: 27:24

Jiu-Jitsu Okay, I'm saying martial arts because I can never say it right, anyway and I thought when you were talking and I said, hmm, he's saying he made him go and I'm thinking he chose to be open to that process because he could have got in there and bumped his head and did all kind of you know what I mean he could have been like I do not want to do this, but it seems like something in him made, made a choice um to do things different and that you provided him with so many choices.

Janet Hale: 27:57

You know what I mean kept going until something worked and then, matched him, and so I think that's awesome.

Janet Hale: 28:04

And the other. The last thing is a question, okay, and that is do you guys go to support groups of any sorts? Are there support groups for families who are dealing with this that may not be able to afford going to the doctor and those kinds of things, may not have the privilege to do that but are at a lower income bracket? Or you know, insurance not everybody has it. So a lot of times support groups are beneficial and helpful. So I was just wondering about that yeah, no, no, we didn't.

Michael Pereira: 28:37

We didn't actually go to support. We've. For some time we've tried to do everything here at home. Our support, I would say, is around getting to know my wife better and she's getting to know me and see how we can work to this as a team. Because it gets to the point that if it's a support group, we thought at one point that it's going to take us away from what we're trying to do because we're concentrating again on how we feel. And it came to a point that we just said what can we do to at least calm down the situation, and us first? It's like going on the plane you want to put your mask first before helping others. I just said, okay, what can we do here at house and our house first, before going out and looking for help?

Michael Pereira: 29:35

If it's something around, again, denial I talked about selfishness, but also denial hit my ego. Is it around my ego? I need to understand that there's another person in the house, which is my wife. She also has an opinion. She also is seeing something that I may not be seeing. She's maybe seeing hidden gaps that I'm not seeing. So, again, it was to better understand ourselves as individuals, understand ourselves as a marriage, understand ourselves as parents and see how we can better ourselves here at home before going out. I don't know if that's the best way. Again, we're talking about support and bettering the environment, not diagnosis. Obviously, he was already diagnosed and all that. That's medical part. But from post-diagnosis that you're trying to look for the best way of handling this new scenario, we just the circle got smaller and we just dabbled down and doubled down into each other and see how we can help here at home first.

Janet Hale: 30:39

So it sounds like the support system is you and your wife, is your family, that you do have a support group.

Michael Pereira: 30:45

Correct, correct.

Janet Hale: 30:45

That's what.

Michael Pereira: 30:46

I'm trying to say it's not external, it was more internal, including my, my mom, she's, she's, I would say she's the best grandmother there there is. You know that that's, that's the way we we went through that phase. Thank you, that's the way we went through that phase.

Janet Hale: 31:02

Thank you.

Candace Patrice: 31:03

I actually love that. One of the things that I love about this podcast is that we talk about different ways to heal. It doesn't have to look like what everybody else thinks. It looks like You'll have people who go. Well, you need to go, get in community. You have to go to therapy, and while that does work for some people maybe many people it doesn't work for all.

Candace Patrice: 31:27

But I think that the mindset of starting in the home, asking the questions of what can I do for you, what do you need, who are you, is a very grounding place to be. And even when we talk about going into isolation and being alone, that's what we're doing with ourselves. Sometimes it's asking ourselves the questions when they say you need to get to know yourself. That's what that is. It's the reason why I even stopped watching so much TV, because I'm like I'm invested in everybody else's life, or the scripted life. And what about my life? Am I living my life? So, taking that time to go out and live, and it sounds like by you making that decision to ground your inner home, you're really creating your own thought processes that work for you and it doesn't put you in the bubble of well, we all are doing it this way, so, or hearing advice One of the things I personally I feel like I'm very impressionable when I hear people's thoughts and that's kind of the reason why I pulled away from listening to people, because I'm like, wait, I was thinking this, but now I'm thinking this because you said this and that did sound better.

Candace Patrice: 32:55

But as I'm like, but I have my own journey and my own purpose and God's will for me is not going to be the same for you and even though our situations look similar, they're different because I'm me. So I just I want to commend you on that. I think that's awesome and I hope that you know listeners who have tried support groups and therapy and they don't feel like it's working, that maybe they can take a different approach and go within themselves, within their home, especially if they have that support of a partner.

Michael Pereira: 33:29

Yeah, and a hundred, no, a hundred percent. And something that I see a lot and I think it happened to me at one point. Maybe I didn't see it, but the services I offer at you know, they use more of the financial services. And the other day I was in one of the classes with Christian and one of the parents there started talking to him and his son also is on the spectrum and I said, hey, how is so-and-so and how is this going? And we have trust so I can talk to him and all his mother is handling that. And I said, okay, perfect. I told him man, bro, it's incredible that you know your sales commission and you don't know your son's progress. Very good, and he stayed looking at me. I said you can know your quarterly quota, you can know your sales commission, you know all this, and you don't know your son's progression. Man, what's happening? And I think that that could have happened to me.

Michael Pereira: 34:38

But the majority of people that I see that they seek therapy and in this case, our support groups, they think they're going. It's like they're in cruise control, but they're going the wrong way. Oh and and and. When I started talking to him and he's saying, like, man, you know it's, it's, it's, it's true and I, I see that a lot. I see that there's a lot of people that talk I don't really know this. Yeah, it's true, we're doing this, this and this and this I said, but if you just take the time that you, it seems like you're again going on cruise control and you think you're going the right way, gasoline, and you're going to open ocean, right, and I see that a lot that again, they may not be seeing these hidden spots, these gaps, but it could have happened to me as well, but that's something that I see a lot that there's no recognition, there's no people seem that they're not.

Candace Patrice: 35:44

They're hearing you but they're not listening. Right, that was so powerful what you just said. You know your sales quota, but you don't know your son's progression. That part I wanted to cry. I did hold it in Mm. Hmm, wow, wow, okay, okay.

Janet Hale: 36:03

Well, I'm not on camera, so I can cry.

Candace Patrice: 36:09

So I know you spoke early, early on about a special needs trust. I have a question and then question.

Michael Pereira: 36:35

And so were you the breadwinner of your home. And what was that transition like? To step out on faith or what did? And I just think about just replacing her. She's really the breadwinner, right, because if I wouldn't, be, a friend, a wife, a psychologist, a chef. You know it's a lot of roles that she does. So I just don't like saying that I was a breadwinner. But in regards to income, yes.

Michael Pereira: 37:07

The reason why I took the leap of faith. I think there was a lot of factors. When I started looking for other employers to see if I can do the same travel less I think there's a lot of factors. One, I was not in the right mindset because my concerns, my worries, were more on the family side. Secondly, when you're going to a startup, sometimes you go into one thing and you're doing a lot of things and again it came to a point that we needed to part ways because I wasn't in the right mindset. So I would say this forced me to be able to just take the leap of faith and say, hey, if I'm going to do this healing and acceptance, and let me see if I can do it. Also, at the same time, providing services. Where I saw the gap, which is when I said, hey, every time I went to a financial advisor, everybody wanted to sell me something or recruit me. So I wanted to see if I can fill that gap of being more comprehensive and not that transactional.

Michael Pereira: 38:12

So we focus on three main areas and what I'm going to explain is going to answer your question about the special needs dress. So we focus on comprehensive insurance planning. We don't do financial planning because we don't do investments. I only focus on insurance. And, by the way, there's no secret sauce. There's no secret product. Whatever you acquire from me, you can acquire from another agent. So sometimes on social media there's a lot of exaggeration and hoax to bring you in and seem something special. There's nothing special. The only thing is we're applying old school products to a problem statement. So these problem statements are three.

Michael Pereira: 38:57

One is income protection strategy. Why? Because if Christian depends on me or my family depends on me a hundred percent and I get cancer, I get into, I have a stroke or get into a car accident, I'm two years out. I need a replacement for my income. I want to concentrate on recuperating and not concentrate on how I'm going to pay the house. So there's something that we do which is a strategy to see how we can provide disability income insurance. Sometimes employers offer short-term, long-term disability, but usually they fall short to what you would actually need. So that's the first one.

Michael Pereira: 39:36

Second one is using life insurance to fund a special needs trust, and I would say that's in combination with the attorney. The attorney is the one that helps you with the trust. We just use life insurance to fund it. So there's a lot of ways to fund a special needs trust. You can use real estate, brokerage accounts, savings, but for me that fluctuates, so I just want to have something predictable. As long as you pay the premiums, the term is going to be there. So using a life insurance to fund a special needs trust.

Michael Pereira: 40:13

And the third one would be long-term care strategy. Why? Because, again, I don't know until when Christian is going to depend on me. I don't know until when Christian is going to depend on me. If later on, around 80, I'm 85, and I need help for myself, an assisting living facility, a nursing home they're becoming very expensive. You want to have a coverage that can cover those expenses later on because, again, I don't know if Christian can take care of me. I come from Puerto Rico. In Puerto Rico you see a lot of families that live together All the grandma. Everybody's here in the States is different. I come from Puerto Rico and Puerto Rico you see a lot of families that live together on the ground. Everybody's here in the States is different. So that long term care strategy tackles that area. So those are the three areas we focus on and again, there's no secret product, we're just applying it to a problem statement. So Okay, so okay. Hopefully I answered Nice.

Candace Patrice: 41:11

Oh, okay, so with the, how does life insurance fund a trust?

Michael Pereira: 41:20

Well, a trust is a document, that it's a legal document that you do with an attorney that basically has your wishes, has a lot of stuff. But when it comes to special needs and again I'm not an attorney this is something that you would need to support an attorney. If that family receives let's say, for example, christian and my wife, let's say I have a policy and they receive the proceeds right. Let's say, if Christian would have any government benefits, by default the family is considered high income earner because they received this chunk of money, so all those benefits would be cut off because he's high income earner. But if it's in the special needs trust and the funds go there, that money is not considered as ordinary income.

Candace Patrice: 42:13

What so should we all be doing this? I know there's a special needs trust but can you do that in a non-special needs?

Michael Pereira: 42:25

trust. Yeah, of course there's strategies there. Anybody who is online and, for example, wants to know a little bit more. If it's more on the legal side, I can refer to a legal firm which I believe serves nationwide, firm which I believe serves nationwide. And if it's more on the insurance side, but there's a lot of strategies families can do in that regard. Right, because there's all their benefits that trust has. If there's any asset protection and so forth. And there's regular families that don't have trust receive life insurance more.

Michael Pereira: 42:58

From a tax perspective, they're good because it's tax-free, but I'm talking about benefits. If there's any benefits that the child has let. Tax perspective, they're good because it's tax-free, but I'm talking about benefits. If there's any benefits that the child has. Let's say they're taking therapy because of medicaid or something they. It may be a jeopardy if they receive all that lump sum because you're considered now high income earner, right. So there's a lot of things. Again, there's no one size fits all, um. So that's why I wanted to do the comprehensive insurance planning, because it's really based on the family. It depends.

Candace Patrice: 43:29

So what is a comprehensive insurance plan?

Michael Pereira: 43:32

Exactly what we're talking about. It's not just okay, buy a policy, for example. Let me give you an example. When I started looking, I said, hey, but what if I get cancer? And the guy said, hey, just buy a policy that if you die, your family receives a million dollars. I said, perfect, but what if I don't die? What happens? Oh well, that's something, and he didn't talk to me about that. So comprehensive insurance planning just sees the full holistic view and says, ok, you already have this, you need this. So you can basically make sure that you build a foundation because the three areas I talked about income would cater to. If you're disabled you don't die, life insurance to fund the special needs If you, if you die, long term care if you don't die early stages but you die later on. So you're catering each area as you go in life.

Candace Patrice: 44:30

Oh, that makes sense. So do you sell the product?

Michael Pereira: 44:37

The insurance yes.

Candace Patrice: 44:38

You sell the insurance. So if somebody wanted to know, OK, before I even ask that, do you only deal with special needs insurance policies or all insurance policies?

Michael Pereira: 44:51

That's what I'm saying. There's no secret product. There's no secret sauce Like a term policy can be sold to anybody. I'm just applying it to the special needs trust, but I can attend anybody who I request in services. Of course, the only thing is I focus on families and special needs, because I see that this is an underserved community, that these type of conversations don't happen often. So my focus is like, for example, I'm my customer, that's what I'm saying. My profile is the same customer I cater to.

Candace Patrice: 45:27

Got you your avatar? Yeah, exactly.

Michael Pereira: 45:31

So I'm my type of client, that family, you know who has a diagnosis, that is just trying to plan for the future the best way. It's just trying to plan for the future the best way and really plan like using insurance, because I would say it's one of the cheapest way to mitigate a lot of risk.

Candace Patrice: 45:51

So if someone wanted to get a comprehensive life insurance policy with you, how would they go about doing that?

Michael Pereira: 46:02

They can go to the website. You can click our services. It's going to be there Give us the website again.

Michael Pereira: 46:09

Yeah, of course, wwwtheautismvoyagecom. And, for example, like I mentioned, there's no one size fits all. If there's more complex planning, like there's now investments, there's now other things I would just refer it out to maybe an investment manager or wealth manager. If it's more on the legal side, like I mentioned, the example I just gave you for the special needs trust that's just as a reference. Nobody should take it as legal advice. But they should have this conversation with a lawyer because each family is different, right? So if they want to talk about insurance planning, they can just go to the website, put the services. I can by all means have a call with anybody, just understand their scenario and see where they want to get you and based on that again, I would attend them or refer them out.

Candace Patrice: 47:03

Are there any fees for having that consultation?

Michael Pereira: 47:07

With me. No, like any other agent, there shouldn't be, I would say, any fee for life insurance, but no.

Candace Patrice: 47:13

You hear that people no fees. So if someone's charging you go run the other way. Don't cruise in the wrong direction there you go.

Janet Hale: 47:24

I know that um some.

Michael Pereira: 47:26

Some lawyers, I believe, charge for the first I've seen I've seen lawyers that say, okay, the first consultation is free, or the others you will need to pay this. But when it's life insurance, I haven't heard of of anybody charged for that conversation.

Candace Patrice: 47:44

Did you have any questions, mom?

Janet Hale: 47:47

No, I enjoyed everything that you said and I love talking about financial literacy, not just for dealing with special needs, but period. We all need to take a look at that and while you were talking, I was like I need to do this, I need to do this, I need to do that, and I just think. Talking, I was like I need to do this, I need to do this and I just think it's good.

Michael Pereira: 48:11

All the way around, I think everything that we're talking about is just good for everyone? Yeah, I think so. I think so, and some of the I would say misconceptions or mistakes I see is that waiting too long? When you're talking about insurance, I would say, and in particular life insurance for disability or anything it gets more expensive as time passes because you're getting older, there's more probability of you having something or getting something or an unexpected event happening. So what I would recommend, parents, is that if you already have concerns about the future, if, for example, this moment, you cannot sign a check, a blank check with your family, if something were to happen to you, this is the type of conversation you should have and you shouldn't feel pressure to move forward, but you should feel pressure to gain knowledge, to understand where move forward, but you should feel pressure to gain knowledge To understand where you are, where you should be.

Janet Hale: 49:09

Yeah, I think you should be pressured to move, but let's get it done, because we can talk for days, years, even years even for days, years, even years.

Candace Patrice: 49:28

Even so, we're going to wrap up, but is there anything else that you want to share with the listeners? We touched on a lot of. I don't know how we managed to hit so much in this timeframe, but we did. Is there anything you want to share with families dealing with children of special needs? Any suggestions or advice you want to give? Is there any other financial literacy information you want to share? Just take this time to give your last thoughts.

Michael Pereira: 49:57

Yeah. So I'm going to share with you guys a link so the listeners here, if interested, they're in special needs. I created a checklist. That checklist helps families to really really think about their scenario. So you're going to checkmark what you have, what you don't have, but at least it shows you what you may not know. So I'm going to share that link so people can see it. But the only thing I would say is that there's a quote that I think her name is Ginny Rometty. She's the former CEO of IBM. She said that growth and comfort cannot coexist and I think that if you want to be comfortable, don't expect growth, and if you want to grow, don't expect to be comfortable. So I would say that's one of the quotes I love. And again, it's Jeannie Rometty, I think. Yeah, that's the main. She's a former CEO of IBM.

Janet Hale: 50:57

You are dropping so many spiritual bones in this conversation, sir. And I want to thank you, sir, for all of it. Thank you for being here and for all the listeners and for Candice and I. Thank you very much.

Candace Patrice: 51:12

That quote actually is very needed for me right now, in this moment, because some things are real uncomfortable as I'm trying to grow Mm-hmm, I'm trying to grow.

Janet Hale: 51:24

I do want to share something about excuse me, about the uncomfortable part. So, there was a conversation had with me I hadn't even shared this with Candace and the conversation went like this Janet, where are you? Because who you're representing is not Janet.

Janet Hale: 51:45

And that is not cool for the culture. I'm going to curse a little bit. So all you people, you know the person said because we don't do that phony shit here, and that was so uncomfortable you guys don't even understand Like you talk about the ego and I was like, oh, I was so deflated I was saying wait a minute. But, um, the person was absolutely correct.

Janet Hale: 52:08

I'm 61 years old and it took that conversation, that very uncomfortable conversation, for me to realize that there was a certain certain part of me that was still caught up in the perception of others and not about my authentic self. And I promise you it took me two days to heal from that conversation. But it also brought me back to me and it's a conversation that Candice and I have. Sometimes she's like Ma, you know, we get on the podcast. Your voice changed and I was like, hmm, and I noticed at certain meetings my voice changed. Guess what? This is my voice. This is Janet and I love me. I hope you love me too. And, yes, the uncomfortable spaces is the spaces from which I grow.

Michael Pereira: 52:55

And that quote just showed me. Hey, just decide what you want, but you can't have both. They live in a gray yeah, because it's it's, it says it it cannot coexist. You cannot grow and be and you know comfort, growth and comfort that do not coexist.

Candace Patrice: 53:13

So you know you really don't no, even as my daughter is growing literally physical pains um in her body because she's growing when our teeth, when they come in, they hurt. Everything that's growing hurts. It's not comfortable.

Michael Pereira: 53:32

No. So I would say that's what I would love to leave the listeners to just digest. It took me some time, but yeah, it helped me a lot.

Candace Patrice: 53:43

Thank you, thank you for that. If you are someone you know is struggling, you can always call or text the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988. And if you are just looking for safe places, as we've been reminded today, sometimes it takes to go within.

Candace Patrice: 54:03

Go within yourself. Go within your home, get to know yourself better, get to know your partner better, get to know your children better. They are not you. Your children are individuals with their own minds, with their own thought processes, and even though we are guiding them that is what we are doing we are guiding them they are not living our lives. They will have such a different outcome. So foster a safe place for your children as best you can, but learn how to be in safe places for yourself as well.

Candace Patrice: 54:40

So, whatever that looks like that might look like therapy, that might look like a life coach, that may look like church, that may look like friendship, that may look like family, it's going to look different. So don't look for a one-stop shop that fits everybody. Listen to your gut, follow your it will. It is a reason that you have the feelings that you have within yourself. So, um, yeah, I wanted to leave you all with that. And, of course, you can follow me at candicepatrice underscore em on instagram. Essential motivation. On facebook, you can go to the website essentialmotivationcom and you can email at CandiceFleming. At essentialmotivationcom. There will be links at the bottom of the show that you can click for myself, janet and Michael to get all of this beautiful information. Continue to trust yourself, guys. Yeah, so, as we always leave, remember to love hard, forgive often and laugh frequent. Thank you, guys, so much. Thank you listeners and adios thank you.