Screen Time Soul Food: Are Your Viewing Choices Nourishing You?

It's Therapy Thursday

Your screen time is shaping you in ways you might not realize. Every show, movie, and social media scroll leaves an imprint on your mind, influencing everything from your daily thoughts to how you interact with others.

Candace and Janet take us on a revealing journey through their personal media consumption habits, examining how what we watch creates a "mental diet" that nourishes or depletes us. Candace shares the surprising story of experiencing her first panic attack while watching a television drama during her separation, highlighting the powerful connection between emotional vulnerability and media consumption. Janet explains why she deliberately avoids fear-based news programming, choosing instead content that fosters hope and community connection.

The conversation takes delightful turns as the hosts laugh about their Grey's Anatomy obsession leaving them convinced they could diagnose medical conditions ("I could probably give some surgery!"), while also exploring deeper territory about how religious programming can bring ancient texts to life. The contrast between "trash TV" and spiritual content reveals that it's not about judging what we watch, but rather understanding its impact on our mental well-being.

What makes this discussion particularly valuable is the practical wisdom shared. The hosts suggest mindfully observing how different shows affect your mood, behavior, and outlook, then adjusting accordingly. They explore how algorithms shape what appears in our feeds and how we can take control by deliberately curating content that aligns with our values and goals.

Whether you're a binge-watcher, social media scroller, or selective viewer, this conversation will transform how you think about your screen time. Take a moment to reflect on your own media habits – are they feeding your mind with what truly nourishes you? Subscribe now and join our community of mindful media consumers who are learning to harness the power of what they watch to create more positive, purposeful lives.

Transcript

Welcome and Introductions

Candace Patrice 0:05

Hello and welcome back to another episode of Essential Mental Healing , where I am your host , Candace Patrice . Hello , hello , hello , and joining me today is my lovely co-host and her name is Janet Hale .

Janet Hale 0:25

Yeah , hello , hello . My name is Janet . Oh , what a day , what a day From the bluesy hippie . Let's do it .

Candace Patrice 0:44

You guys just got to love us right . Like subscribe . Hit the text feature , let us know what you like , what you want to hear . And we're going to jump into our day , because it's a Sunday today , guys , that we are recording , and I know it's a Thursday when you are listening , or another day when you caught it on replay . So whenever Hello we when you are listening , or another day when you caught it on replay , so whenever Hello , we hope you are doing well .

Janet Hale 1:14

So , mother , you wanted to tell me about your weekend and I paused you to tell

Vibrations and Community Events

Janet Hale 1:17

it to me . So I went to an event out in Pontiac and and it was a beautiful environment and sometimes I'll say and I'm not the first one to say it things are not personal , they're vibrational . And that vibration was high and everybody , it was just love and it was just warmth . It was oh , and there were hippies in there and I was like purple hair , I was like loving everybody , yes , and then someone had on pointy ears and just all this , good goodness , and it was a . It felt like a judge-free zone , like however you show up , you are accepted , like how we talk about how we see the world or how we want the world to be , or um , so it was just really , really nice and it was lasted until in the evening and we stayed a good while and , um , I was just so happy to be in that space . It was a space of supporting others , being there for others and then being there for each other .

Janet Hale 2:33

And one of the things that one of the speakers said , she said one of my persons , whatever she does , they're in a competition or would be considered to be competition . She said she's invited to one of my events or her shows , because it's not about competition , it's about supporting one another . And I just thought , wow , how beautiful is that ? And she had on her colors for what it is that she does . And then she talked about the other woman and and lifted her .

Janet Hale 3:04

Opposed to . This is a whole competition battle . No , we're in this together , so let's work together and let's make each other great . And they did an exercise that I thought was really cool , which was call people together and those who have instagram which I don't have , but anyway who have instagram to get up and then reach out to at least 10 people in the group and share information , and I just thought that was an awesome exercise . And she just talked about how that's something that she practices and she invited all of us who were there that have events to practice that way , because you're exchanging information in the moment with people that you don't actually know , but you're actually networking because you're all on the same team . So you know it's a way of working together . So it was . It was really cool . I felt really honored to be in the space .

Candace Patrice 3:56

That's really good . I went to an event last Thursday that

Content Creating and Weekend Activities

Candace Patrice 4:03

we did , an exercise like that . It was about creating content , creating with creators , but it was content creating and we talked about the different ways in which we create content . And we did an exercise where , in the beginning , first of all , we had dots that told what kind of field we were in , whether you were an influencer , whether you were an entrepreneur field we were against whether you were an influencer , whether you were an entrepreneur , whether you're into marketing and you got to you were supposed to go meet someone with a different color dot than yourself , and because everybody was trying to have authentic , authentic relationships , it was really good . Then they put us in groups of like anywhere from like three to six where we sat and kind of looked at each other . Well , we talked about our content without looking at our content , and it really created this social interaction . That was really beautiful . I was able to gauge someone's newsfeed , their Instagram , based off the information that they gave me from the questions that were asked , and that was really really good and really nice .

Candace Patrice 5:08

Um , but also I had a pretty full weekend where I um , yesterday was it yesterday ? Yeah , yesterday Kamari had a cheer performance and we also had a play date , my first play date that an outside parent reached out to me . I was like , hey , my daughter wants to have a play date . And I was like , okay , so we set it up and we went to airtime and the girls bounced around and me and the parents got to have just conversation , which was really nice , getting to know how they thought , um and we . We bounced around a lot because we didn't know each other at all . It was like all I know is that our daughters go to the same school . So that was really good . And then I am taking time to rest . I have an eight week regimen in which I have been given where Fridays and Sundays consist of rest , which I'm finding very difficult , because I immediately want to put things on a Friday , because that's the time where I have a little free time , like Kamari's in school , and I don't work .

Candace Patrice 6:18

but now I'm like when I go to make an appointment or something , it's like , ah , not on a Friday . I'm like , what other day do I do it ? So I'm finding that to be a struggle , but it's only for eight weeks , just to get some things in order with myself , with branding and things like that . So it's a business regimen , but it's also incorporating self-care in there , so that's really cool . It's also incorporating self-care in there , so that's really cool . And then today so I'm finding that my rest on Sundays consists of getting my house together , my daughter together , making sure we have food which is good . It's full but it's good . So I watched service today Transformation Church online and I watched a show . I haven't watched television in I don't know how long , but I've been able to watch some shows . I watch things , which is kind of our topic today

What We Watch Influences Us

Candace Patrice 7:18

. What are we feeding our minds based off of what we watch ? How does what we watch influence our behaviors , influence our thought processes , influence the way we interact with other people , influence our experience as a whole ?

Janet Hale 7:36

altogether , right , right , right you don't look as excited as me . Oh , my , my and my .

Candace Patrice 7:46

Well , let me okay . So I want to give a story first , because where I'm going to land at is going to be like oh , she's so holy , like no . But . But I remember when I was going through the separation , before the divorce was enacted I guess I was feeling things and I was watching Married to Medicine , when I had my first big panic attack . I didn't .

Candace Patrice 8:17

I was folding shirts up , I had just started selling t-shirts and I remember my heart just beating so fast and I was thinking maybe I drank my coffee too fast , I don't know . So I called my ex-husband , who was my husband at the time , and asked him if he could get Kamari from school . I was like my , you know , my heart is just Like my . You know , my heart is just really racing really fast . So I took , I took a nap and I woke up and instantly it came flooding back . So I was like this is not coffee . Then I got scared . I was like they gonna find me dead in here . They gonna find me dead .

Candace Patrice 8:59

So I took myself to urgent care and that was the first time that I got on medication for anxiety . But I didn't know what was going to was right . It was a little after COVID . But I was so lucky and I've told this story on the podcast before , but it's been a while I was so lucky that the nurse that was on staff was so compassionate lucky that the nurse that was on staff was so compassionate . So when I share , I must have just dumped on her my life .

Candace Patrice 9:30

And she came and she hugged me and she rubbed my back and she said you're in the right place , you're in the right place . And I was snotting and I had to blow my nose . I was like I don't have COVID . She was like it's okay . And then she was like so I'm going to prescribe you this and I'm going to prescribe you . She said I'm going to prescribe you this , you take this every day , and then I'm going to prescribe you this and you take this on the really bad days . So today , take this , and then from every day forward . Then I made an appointment with my um primary care physician . Anyways , the point is , I'm still , to this day , not sure if that's what it was , but it was possibly triggered by what I was watching and what was happening on the screen .

Janet Hale 10:20

Oh wow , what I watched sent me into a long regimen of things when you said that one of the things that I'm um and I watch all kind of tv , everybody um , but one of the things that I'm that I I'm very conscious of is , um , the news that comes on . Or I try not to watch much . You know a lot of news and I do that because and this is since I was a kid , so you guys , I don't even know where this came from but propaganda . I think about that and how sometimes we're just many times we're fed information deliberately based on an agenda , and so when I look at and we have a lot of things going on , I'm not about to get in all that , but it's um , and to me some of it's like fear-mongering or just all this , and I'm like I'm not watching that and so I will purposely like , change the channel .

Janet Hale 11:25

I'm not doing this with you because I don't want to live in fear you talked about . You know what we watch . At first I didn't want to do it because I watch all kinds of stuff , but when I listened to you I was like , well , no , I can get into this , and so I , you know , just pay attention to what I pay attention to . So if there's something that's you know the news , I just can't do it . I might get three minutes in .

Janet Hale 11:57

Then I'm like , oh , can't do that . And then , with all the things that are happening , I happen to work in an environment that , with all that is this time that we're in . Although there's a lot of things that we can look at as negative , the positive in it is that it's bringing a lot of people together . It's bringing a lot of community together . It's bringing people together to support one another . It's helping us find our people , because I'm in rooms now like whoa . Our paths wouldn't have crossed had we not been in this time right now .

Janet Hale 12:50

But we're in this time right now and we're in this time and we're trying to figure out how do we not live fear-based , how do we live in a moment of hopefulness and not hopelessness ? So I want to say one more thing about that . So at the event met a woman . She has a book and I sat down and she talked about and it's public because she has a book and all that . But she talked about being in prison and how she wasn't guilty and how people high up and that's as far I'm going to go with it were behind it and how she actually had to work at getting things resolved . But she said something . She said we're in a hard time and things are looking a certain way right now .

Candace Patrice 13:46

This is not our forever .

Janet Hale 13:49

And so when you can hear someone who has gone through imprisonment for 12 years for something you didn't do and for them to talk with so much hope and um , it says a lot . You know it's it . And it also says I was in the right place at the right time . You know it was you know also .

Candace Patrice 14:19

It's not just what we're watching on television , though . Now we have social media and the algorithms are catered to what we watch . So if you're a person who enjoys action , let's just say , and whatever facet it is you're going to get a lot more things of action , whether that is comedy action , whether it is violence in the streets , you know it's going to fill your mind with those things . And that's something that I had to

Algorithm Impact on Mental Diet

Candace Patrice 14:52

kind of take control of as far as what's coming across my feed .

Candace Patrice 14:57

So I don't accept everybody's well . I don't friend everybody just because , because I want my feed to represent what I want my brain to receive . So it might be motivation , it might be cooking , it may be parenting , but things that I am most interested in or things that aren't . It's very rare that I'll get something across my newsfeed that is really disturbing , unless somebody sends it to me and they're like watch this . And I'm like whoa , what was that ? You know ? But that is , that is something that we actually have to be able to take control of . If you don't like what's coming across your feed , then you have to change it . Maybe it's unfriend some people , maybe it's changed the algorithm . Go search things .

Janet Hale 15:51

Cause you know the phones is listening to us too , anyway , so is this computer .

Candace Patrice 15:53

Well , I'm just saying , okay , actually don't I'm and I'm not scrolling a lot anymore actually and that comes from me wanting to live a life opposed to watch someone else's life , and and that's how I eliminated a lot of TV . Actually , a friend of mine wanted me to read a book and it started it was like a murder love book , but it was , it was murder and love , it was a lot .

Candace Patrice 16:19

The stalker was stalking a woman and then he had intercourse with her and then she was afraid but also kind of liked it and it was like what is going on here ? And so I was like you know , I don't know if I can be a part of your book club . She was like , well , I got a different kind of book you can read . And so she was telling me I was like , well , you know , I really like the books that are like mentally stimulating like seven principles of highly effective people and she was like girl , you just need to read the bible .

Candace Patrice 16:50

I was like that's my favorite book . Oh yeah , she didn't know , she didn't know it was so funny , um , but yeah , just what , what we're putting into our minds , go ahead okay , she can see me , you guys , she knows when I'm like I want to say something .

Janet Hale 17:10

But the algorithm . Algorithm is something that , um , you enlighten me on , because something was coming across my feed . You was like , ma , it's your algorithm . Am I saying right algorithm ? And I said , oh , and so my feed now is how to prepare , prepare vegan food .

Janet Hale 17:30

Positive , motivational things come across mine . You know it's like , um , because that's what I want in my life and that's what I want in my soul and that's what I want in my head . I watched a movie and there was a certain thing that was said and I was so deep . He said to her pay attention to your soul before you lose your legs . In other words , if you're not right in here and you lose your feeding , you lose your ground . You know you lose it . And I was like , oh , that was a deep saying and it's the kind of life I want to live . I want to live

Biblical Shows and Religious Discussions

Janet Hale 18:17

the life of being with good people around good people , and I do believe we attract who we are . I do Every now and then something else will come up . But if it does , what is the reason behind it ?

Candace Patrice 18:32

How do you think that what we're watching influences how we behave in the world ?

Janet Hale 18:52

Well , okay , so I have a mixture of things and , um , I can only speak on my thing . Um , I mentioned the news . I think , if I continuously watch that I will walk around here , probably leave the house , except , well , I don't leave it anyway , but but I would be fearful , I'm not ? It's like you know what . I'm going to be okay , I'm going to be okay , and I'm a minimalist . I want to be more of that , not wanting and needing all these things around me . It doesn't matter , it doesn't serve me . Why am I holding on to it ? But , um , so what I watch on tv , I'm affected in a way . Um , if it feels good , and I do watch some trash tv , you guys , okay , she , she probably don't , but I do , um , but for the most part , I try to watch things that are , um , positive and that feeds my soul in some kind of way .

Candace Patrice 19:44

Yeah .

Janet Hale 19:45

You know . So I think we're influenced that . That was your question , um , and what we take in not only TV but what we feed our bodies , I mean like it's a whole . You know , it's everything that we put in our bodies , in our mind , what we hear , what we see .

Janet Hale 20:02

Um and so if I'm constantly on some violent stuff , I just I'm not , though , but I think that I would behave in a manner that is probably more aggressive of a person . I don't mean , you know , um , but I tend to gear toward things that are outside of my trash TV , that are compassionate , where people care about each other , even movies . Okay , I'm going to tell you this movie .

Janet Hale 20:39

I watched it over but it's Marbra Streisand did it first . Oh , lady Gaga did it first . Ooh , lady Gaga did it , and I just watched it again . Um , a Star is Born have you seen it .

Janet Hale 20:53

No , it's really good , um , but it's a , it's a love story , um , and just watching how total acceptance of people , that , um . When we accept people , we have to accept the person , and so sometimes we can get caught up in . We never know what the gift , how the gift is going to be wrapped . Sometimes we get caught up in how it's wrapped . How good does the paper look ? You know , how neat are the corners done ? And their gift doesn't always come that way .

Candace Patrice 21:30

You know , being a mother is so rewarding . Yes , However , our children have different tastes than we do , and children are always . Look at me , look at what I did look at what I did .

Janet Hale 21:49

Look at what I'm watching .

Candace Patrice 21:50

Look look , look , and it's actually . It's very beneficial to join their worlds so that you can connect with them wherever they are . My daughter is a lot like her godmother and I think halloween is their favorite um holiday , horror movies and , oh , my goodness and I . One of the shows that my daughter likes to watch is oh , what's it called ? Um , all of us are dead it's a zombie movie .

Janet Hale 22:23

It's a show .

Candace Patrice 22:25

Oh my goodness , it is gore , it is they really . It's a lot , but I watch it with her . I was torn between should she be watching this or not . Like she's nine , right , so I'm constantly thinking about what's being said in her mind . But I also realized that in order for her to be a complete person , she's going to know need to know different things . She's going to learn different things and she had already seen it . Okay . So , she had already seen it .

Janet Hale 22:57

So it was time for you to join the party .

Candace Patrice 22:58

And it's one of her favorite shows . Didn't I get all concerned Like , oh no is , is she thinking about zombies ? All day but then she , she has the balance , or at least to me . I bring in a different world of what she watches and what she takes in , and she enjoys a plethora of things so I am watching a plethora of things um one of the my favorite things that we watch together is bluey , which is a kid's show .

Candace Patrice 23:32

Well , I'm not going to call it a kid's show because it's not a kid's show , but it's a show that parents and adults enjoy and it was targeted to children and marketing to children . You know at first , however , many adults have found it to be she's cracking up and she's on mute . Are you on mute on purpose ? Because you're cracking up so hard ? Oh , my goodness . And she's shaking her head . Yes , if you guys could see the way she is laughing at me . That show is so good .

Candace Patrice 24:02

There is a show called the Sign . Anybody who watches bluey , the sign , will take you out . Also the episode with the sister who , who couldn't conceive kids . Right , I said it . That really happens on bluey . Okay , it's oh . Or the episode where chili , the , the dog , the mom , her dad is like needing a rest and she's chasing him around . Then in the end , she's like I just don't want to lose you . And it's just like oh , I just so much . They even have an episode , y'all , where they are hung over , but they do it so nice . It's the episode right after new year's oh , it's so good . But the way she shows up as they show up as parents is so good . Then the kids go about their day . Just that you got to learn how to be there for the kids enough so that they don't feel like they need you the whole time . I'm trying to tell you this , okay , I'm sorry , okay , all right .

Janet Hale 24:54

Is this a Kamari Shore Candice show ? Because , baby , I listen to Bluey and Bluey seems more like your show .

Candace Patrice 25:05

Have you seen Bluey ? I cannot watch Bluey . You come over here and you watch Bluey . No , I'm not watching .

Janet Hale 25:10

Bluey , I would like to , and then for me I probably get hooked on it and I gotta come back and tell the audience .

Candace Patrice 25:16

As a matter of fact , I challenge you between now and the next recording to watch a couple episodes of Bluey , bluey , bluey .

Janet Hale 25:25

What network ? How do ?

Candace Patrice 25:26

I find Bluey .

Janet Hale 25:28

It's on Disney . Oh , I don't have .

Candace Patrice 25:29

Disney , that's okay , come over . I've been inviting you over , mother , ah .

Janet Hale 25:34

She pulled the mother card . Look at me . Did y'all hear that ? Come see me . Oh , she pulled the mother . Oh , she put them . Oh , okay , let them see how you operate , let them know how you do it . Okay , this is for all of you parents out there who have adult children . You guys know exactly what I'm going through right now .

Candace Patrice 25:55

You know I was just sharing with someone how I was really grateful that you still learn how to parent even though I'm 36 . And I don't care saying how old I am . I think it it's a great age and I'm going to continue to say it , people have .

Janet Hale 26:08

So what do you think ?

Candace Patrice 26:11

because there are people like why do you tell people how old you are ? Oh , why not Like ?

Janet Hale 26:16

what's the ?

Candace Patrice 26:16

problem , it's a gift . Anywho did I say the right age ?

Janet Hale 26:21

I said 36 , right , yes , you said .

Candace Patrice 26:22

Okay , cool , I'm going to be 37 in April . Write that down in case you didn't know .

Janet Hale 26:29

Who .

Candace Patrice 26:30

Mother .

Janet Hale 26:31

Oh , the gift is already here .

Candace Patrice 26:33

Did you know the age ? Though I know you know the birth date .

Janet Hale 26:36

No , you corrected me . A few months ago . I played it off for a long time and I would tell people let's , how old is she ? I said I think she's 35 , but don't tell her I don't know . And then one day you said it . I was like ooh , I got it . Okay , she's 36 . Okay , so yeah .

Candace Patrice 26:54

You can always go back to the year .

Janet Hale 26:56

I know you know what the year is 88, . I know . Do some calculations Calculate that part ? Nope , I don't even like counting on my fingers .

Candace Patrice 27:08

That is too funny , so let me tell you what I'm watching , though what ?

Janet Hale 27:12

are you ?

Candace Patrice 27:12

watching my love , so I just finished . It's only four episodes out by House of David . Yeah , it's about David and the Bible . Oh , you know , is it good ?

Janet Hale 27:21

It's only four episodes out by House of David . Yeah , it's about David and the Bible . Oh , you know , it's a good , it's so good .

Candace Patrice 27:26

What are you watching it on prime Amazon prime ?

Janet Hale 27:30

house of David .

Candace Patrice 27:33

Okay . So I find that watching these kinds of shows , though , to me , are better , when I can , when I've read it from the Bible first , and then I go back , and it's like watching the story come to life For me .

Janet Hale 27:49

I enjoy it that way .

Candace Patrice 27:52

Then , after I finished that , I started watching the Chosen , which my sister had been telling me to watch , but when she first told me to watch it it was too slow . I had also just came off of watching Book of Clarence , so it was really slow . But after watching House of David it wasn't as hard to navigate back into .

Candace Patrice 28:14

And again it's so . It right now at least in season one , is about the disciples and their lives . Like I think I'm in episode five or so , but I'm learning about their lives and it's like , oh , is that what they were like ? So it's now giving me a little idea of their life , like bringing them to life , because I know the stories , I know you know .

Janet Hale 28:36

I have a question about that , if you don't mind , because you know I'm not religious , but I've been going to know . Yeah , yeah , yeah . So which one do you relate to the most and why ?

Candace Patrice 28:47

What you mean .

Janet Hale 28:48

Disciple .

Candace Patrice 28:49

Well , I'm only on a few of them , so I don't know yet .

Janet Hale 28:51

You haven't found them yet .

Candace Patrice 28:53

No , I'm not sure , because I was like two or three of them .

Janet Hale 28:58

They were all guys right . Yeah , okay , issue number one for me , but that's okay .

Candace Patrice 29:02

Well , there were 12 disciples . However , there were women who walked with Jesus too . Like Mary is Mary of Madeline Y'all . Like I can't say it .

Janet Hale 29:14

Don't judge me , Mary of Madeline right .

Candace Patrice 29:16

Magdalene , something like that , the M Mary of M .

Janet Hale 29:19

Okay , let's do this oh , he violates with the bible who was possessed by the demons and then she really , yes , what junk I'm going on .

Candace Patrice 29:32

Listen , let me tell you the bible's juicy girl . It sounds like it it juicy .

Janet Hale 29:38

Oh , it sounds juicy .

Candace Patrice 29:39

Mm-hmm , things be happening . Oh , okay , you know , like even one of the you know , the lady who was stoned was considered a slut and that's why they was stoning her , because the people was like she was with my husband . It was like uh-uh , stone that whore .

Janet Hale 29:54

Right , but not him , though , but her .

Candace Patrice 30:01

I'm sorry y'all you know I'm so sorry I can't help it . I mean it would have been a lot of hymns too , so I think that was part of the point .

Janet Hale 30:07

Oh , no , no , anywho , but go ahead . The bible's juicy okay okay , I believe that , I do . I believe that . Is it better than the housewives ? Oh , you paused . Well , it sounds like it might be .

Candace Patrice 30:21

I was gonna say , after you read it about ten times . Okay , why ? Cuz I'm gonna tell you for real , for real , once you read it the first time , you know what . Well , let me take my experience you when I read it the first time I was like what ? It wasn't until I got to the fourth gospel , so you got lmmj Luke , matthew , mark and John . It wasn't until I got to the fourth gospel , so you got , uh , lmmj luke , matthew , mark and john . It wasn't until I got to john .

Janet Hale 30:44

Well , showing us her knowledge .

Candace Patrice 30:45

Come on now well , I had to we're tired , we're tired , we're tired , we're tired . We're here , listen , listen , listen , because it made me think of like a lmsw licensed master social worker so I had to make an acronym , lmmj , because I was like , wait , who are in the books ?

Candace Patrice 31:07

I was like it was a lot for me , so I did that . But it wasn't until I got to the fourth one and I was like , oh , wait , a minute , what's happening ? Because I was like , why do I sound like the story is being repeated every time I read these ? But by the fourth one I was like , why do I sound like the story is being repeated every time I read these ? But by the fourth one I was like , oh , I think I get what happened . But that was my first time around back in like 2010 . Yeah , I think it was 2010 , because Rory had a Bible from the Army . That was the NLT translation . I could never read the Bible before that . None of it made sense to me , I was like y'all really be reading .

Candace Patrice 31:48

Thou art thee he who was . But this translation . When I read it I was like these seem like real words . I feel like I understand the story . So that was my first time , actually , because I used to go to church just to listen to the praise and worship , cause I felt like I can understand the words through the music .

Candace Patrice 32:07

You know , I was like , okay , I hear what happened and he was okay and he used to be glorified . Okay , all right , cool , but you my listen . Okay , it's been a journey , okay , listen okay , it's been

The Grey's Anatomy Effect

Candace Patrice 32:19

a journey .

Janet Hale 32:20

You're going to get me in trouble with your Christian friends .

Candace Patrice 32:22

It's been a real journey for me . So now I have a lot more understanding because I'm consistently reading and I'm putting things together . And now I'm like , oh wait , so the person in this book was who they were talking about here . I was like what ? So you know , just putting everything together . So now when I'm hearing different things and I or I'll go back to I say who where is , where is this person in the bible ? And I'll go read it , read the chapter , and go okay , and then make more sense or something , or I just I'm just constantly wanting to know and put the pieces of the puzzle together , because it's a lot of puzzle to be put together .

Janet Hale 33:01

I don't know if you read it four times , I would think maybe there's a lot of pieces .

Candace Patrice 33:07

I only read that part , for well , that was four different gospels , but they say a lot of the same thing . So by the time I got to the fourth one , the first time , it felt like I had read it , for oh , I misunderstood you . Okay , to the fourth one .

Janet Hale 33:19

The first time it felt like I had read it , for oh , I misunderstood you , okay yeah , yeah , yeah .

Candace Patrice 33:22

However , I'm clearly , I'm way over four at this point oh , are you okay ? Okay , because I have to go back to it because with the bible app , um , it gives you a verse of the day . Okay , so then , from the verse of the day , you can read the chapter . Well , sometimes I'll read the chapter and then I may read the whole book . Depending on how I'm feeling , where I'm at , or if it's a certain topic that I want to read on , I might read that chapter , I might read that book , you know .

Janet Hale 33:50

Again , time and everything , okay , I know this is not our topic , but you just got me into this because I'm watching you guys cannot see how animated she is , how she's lighting up as she speaks about this um because I , I can see it . My question to you is what is the your most favorite ?

Candace Patrice 34:08

the most favorite part of the B-I-B-L-E okay , so it is the book of Ecclesiastes . So I like that book because it talks about how he's gone through getting all the knowledge , all the wisdom , um , all the re , like everything had been through so much .

Candace Patrice 34:28

Um and then at the end of the Bible is just at the end of that book . It just talks about really being a good person . Like you can do everything right , you can do everything wrong . You can know everything in the world . You can know nothing like just , at the end of the day , be the best person that you can be you know , okay , I like that second favorite book oh , okay book of revelations .

Candace Patrice 34:52

it took me years to read it because people said it was so scary . I mean , I guess , when you talk about things having a bunch of heads and arms and eyes and come in and destructing things for years and you know 36 or 40 something months to really it talks about asking for forgiveness and you know there's a way . At the end of the day the world will be good . The chosen will be good , I guess . I just think I'm one of the chosen , so I guess I'd be like oops , sorry y'all , Y'all better start living right ?

Candace Patrice 35:40

You know like live your life good , Go read a book , I'll be pleasing , I guess . I just think I'm one of the chosen . So I guess I'd be like oops , sorry y'all . Y'all better start living right ? You know like , live your life good , Go read a book , I'll be pleasing , I see you , if you could see her go follow the commandments . I'm just saying fill yourself with the fruits of the spirit .

Janet Hale 35:52

I mean there's a lot .

Candace Patrice 35:54

There's , you know , a few real key things that can help . So I read it . Um , I understand that there are things that may transpire at the end of times , but really we're get . It's to get to a place of peace , love where there's no fear . We don't have to watch the news , because no news exists , unless it's the good news , you know . So when I think of a world that exists in peace and harmony , I think the book of revelations is beautiful .

Janet Hale 36:24

Okay , you just have to have to believe , I guess so I have a question , because you know , I'm just a little curious . So all these heads and stuff , what do they represent ?

Candace Patrice 36:36

just one or two just one or two well , okay , so I don't know .

Janet Hale 36:40

I'm off the top of my head like one or two again the , the angels um , there are , angels , there are oh , you guys , we have a research , because she will research on a dime , I will , but you know what I'm not going to ?

Candace Patrice 36:59

okay , it's , it's the so there are um . So I've also did the least research in the revelations but , there's . There's trumpets that are going to be blown . After each trumpet , there are terrors , or there are things that are going to happen for a certain amount of time . So one thing may be it's it stings people over and over , and over and over and over for like three and a half years . No , I'm sorry .

Janet Hale 37:33

Don't die . Oh no , I might want to die .

Candace Patrice 37:37

We're going to wish you were oh , come on , you guys , but that's the point , that people still don't repent , and it's like it's a lot I'm gonna let me mute . Let me mute me out what what is happening , what is going on . You know , I know I believe that Jesus is the way and I'm okay with that . I love that and my life .

Janet Hale 38:07

I'm okay with it being okay for you . I know you are , you know that you're my daughter and I love you .

Candace Patrice 38:12

And I love that I can be confident in that , because other people are confident in their ways and their beliefs now yes and regardless , and they believe they are right that's right baby so who am I to say that they are wrong , but I feel confident in my belief .

Janet Hale 38:32

Come on .

Candace Patrice 38:32

You know what I'm saying bring it to the paypal , come on , I um , that is my belief and I study it a lot and I'm happy where I am in my process . I'm happy with my relationship with god I'm happy with my relationship with jesus I want to .

Candace Patrice 38:53

I think he was a great example of how to live and actually , when I was watching the Chosen , episode three , there is a scene where Jesus is talking to the children and one of the boys said well , he pushed me , so I pushed him back and Jesus was like did you not expect for there to be a punishment ? He was like but the law of Moses say , I for nine . He was like but God is the judge , so let him handle it . And it was . I had Kamari watch it because I am trying to teach her how to handle situations with love , how to handle situations in a way that may may . I think Kamari is very special and I don't think she's like a lot of her friends .

Janet Hale 39:40

Like a lot of people . I don't think she's like a lot of her friends , like a lot of people .

Candace Patrice 39:42

I don't think she's like a lot of people . I think she's very , very special .

Janet Hale 39:46

And .

Candace Patrice 39:47

I feel like I was personally chosen to help her walk through this world and , with my belief being in Jesus and God , I feel that I do want to teach very specific things , and one of those things is to lead in love , and it's not going to always look the way everyone else says it should look Like . Even with the divorce my divorce some of my responses weren't the way that people wanted them to be .

Janet Hale 40:13

They were excellent actually .

Candace Patrice 40:16

However , I , if I would have went the route that some people may have chosen , my situation would look different , and I think that's the reason why we have to listen to our own guts and follow our own mission and our paths . Are we even talking about what we watch ?

Janet Hale 40:33

anymore ? Do we ever stay on task ?

Candace Patrice 40:37

Okay , well , I guess we are , cause I was telling you about what I'm watching and okay she's going to bring us back to the topic I know I gotta woohoo , reel us back in um , but me watching that show is in alignment with my walk right now , um , and it makes me more curious . It puts things to life on what I'm reading and I hope that at some point when you ask me a question , I can answer it more fluid .

Janet Hale 41:09

Well , I appreciate the humility in saying I don't know , and that's something that I need to look at . You know what I mean . So that's where it is . And I also want to say , because everybody know , I'm not a Christian . It's not a secret anymore um , but I honor you and what it is that you believe , um , I think that you represent your belief in such a loving way that , even though I am not a Christian , I respect your Christian .

Candace Patrice 41:43

Okay , did you see that . You see me , you see that thing ? God , I did no , and Mike Todd , make it real easy , oh .

Janet Hale 41:49

Todd Okay , you guys . I'm not religious , but I love this Todd too . Mike Todd yeah , In the way that he presents the information .

Candace Patrice 41:59

Re-presents .

Janet Hale 42:02

No no .

Candace Patrice 42:02

Re-presents .

Janet Hale 42:04

Okay , help me with that . Why is it what ? What's going on ?

Candace Patrice 42:07

Because he's presenting God again to the lost and the found . Oh look , I'm getting educated .

Janet Hale 42:12

Oh , that's so nice , okay , re-present .

Candace Patrice 42:16

I like it . I know it spells represent . Did he ? He did that .

Janet Hale 42:21

Yeah you are he be breaking it down ? I mean this guy .

Janet Hale 42:24

I'm like , I am not religious , but I'm going to listen to you , man , and I say that to all the folks who listen and hear me . I enjoy listening to him because the way he presents the information is in a way that is so welcoming , like if I wanted to be a Christian , he would be one of the ones that I would look to to be . That because of his approach , in the way that he honors individuals and allow you to be who you are and not be and not to offend , but so churchy , churchy and so goody , goody . You know he's um able to share his flaws and the things where he is not perfect and to say , um and these are my words , but this is how I take it I am you , you are me and um , we're in this together , and so it's not like he's on a pedestal and looking down on the people . You know , y'all know where some places are like that . So I honor you and your . Get down with the Christianity .

Candace Patrice 43:36

Thank you . You know , he's actually actually today was the day they shot the episode or the scene for the church , because his first book , relationship Goals , is becoming a Hollywood feature film . I know , and what he said today . He said , guys , I just want you all to know this is not a Christian movie . He's like , oh my goodness , they're going to Saints , they came to me .

Janet Hale 44:00

No people are already buying their tickets . As soon as he said that they started pulling out their phones .

Candace Patrice 44:07

But he said it's a movie that focuses on biblical principles , but it's not a Christian movie . And he does , I believe he does a great job at the balance of humanity and religion .

Candace Patrice 44:23

He does , I believe he does a great job at the balance of humanity and religion and you know , meeting people where they are and , like you said , not shaming them . Or you know , even he said today . He was like you know , when I first started this I didn't know if I was going to be able to uphold because you know , he was addicted to pornography . I was about 37 days into pastoring . He was like . I was like am I going to be able to not watch porn now ? Like , how am I going to stick to this ? He was like I'm afraid they're going to find out that I was in jail .

Janet Hale 44:54

He was like and they did so he's like just so y'all know , they did , you know , but it's the humanity the humility it's you know , I can truly appreciate the honesty , and I do too , and I , you know I come from a whole different , you know perspective and I can say from where I sit that I enjoy the way that he does what he do .

Candace Patrice 45:20

And we are all . We're all God's people . Yes , that's one thing that I've noticed , because I've been talking to a lot of people of different religions . I want to know more you know my knowledge . If I stop at what I know , then how am I to to know ? You know how ?

Janet Hale 45:39

can I ?

Candace Patrice 45:39

relate to more people . I'm really into being open . My neighbor is hindu , my the lady who works with me is muslimish . The one of the lady who I was at the play date with was jewish so it was nice you know , I just really . And then there's another lady who's Jehovah Witness . Now , you know , we , we just talk , because what is it like ? Tell me more , I want to learn . And generally the people I talk to are very open . Yes , like my neighbor , is married to a , to a white Christian woman .

Janet Hale 46:15

Now , that's so cool .

Candace Patrice 46:17

I've got the best community in the world .

Janet Hale 46:19

Come on , that's so cool , I've got the best community in the world .

Candace Patrice 46:21

Come on now Come on .

Janet Hale 46:21

That's so cool . You don't understand my neighbors . Yes , I do . Oh , a little bit .

Candace Patrice 46:24

Are the absolute best .

Janet Hale 46:26

And their dogs .

Candace Patrice 46:28

And their cats . And their cats and their snakes .

Janet Hale 46:32

Oh yes , and the snake ? Yeah , that's right , I saw that . Yeah , it it's all happening where she lives . You guys , she's really not kidding .

Candace Patrice 46:43

Just like when the hedgehog came , all my neighbors came over to meet the hedgehog .

Janet Hale 46:47

She had a hedgehog in her house For two weeks , for two weeks from school .

Candace Patrice 46:51

The school hedgehog , so it had somewhere to be for the holiday . Yeah , it was Christmas break .

Janet Hale 46:57

The house . That thing was in there and she was making sure it was comfortable , like I think she was talking to it . I was like okay , yeah yeah , you did . She talks to the fish . Where's the fish ? Fish still doing okay what's his name ? Her name , bandit , bandit . His name , his name yeah , he's about a year and he's blue and he's blue right he's beautiful Bandit Blue Sonic Fleming . Wait , hold on , there's a Bandit Sonic .

Candace Patrice 47:25

Blue Sonic Fleming , yep , that's his full name .

Janet Hale 47:29

So I think , even though we got off of what you probably think off topic , I think we stayed on topic because it's really about the things we watch , the things we read , the people we talk to , who we let in our energy field . Um , I think it all ties into it and you know what else .

Candace Patrice 47:46

Just the last thing I'm gonna say . I'm sure maybe all right maybe I have noticed that since I've kind of switched well , I don't want to say switch , but been feeding myself more with different books- and whatever shows I'm able Now , we'll say this though Grey's Anatomy . Come on and let me tell you how it makes me operate in the world , cause I think I'm a doctor . This is why we got to be careful with what we watch .

Janet Hale 48:14

Sorry , I gotta laugh . Hold on , you do not have to mute . I don't want your people to think .

Candace Patrice 48:22

Okay , listen , and I'm sure if I was watching Ayanla Van , you know her name .

Janet Hale 48:30

I would think I was the best therapist there was .

Candace Patrice 48:33

Let me tell you what I learned . I could probably diagnose a tumor . I could probably give some surgery I can do .

Janet Hale 48:40

I could probably diagnose a tumor , I could probably give some surgery . We do kind of have you feeling that way though .

Janet Hale 48:43

Yeah , heart transplant , but I can feel a hole with my finger but I want to say oh , I do , I do have to get on this great , and I'm eating real quick . So you know , everybody know I was sick about right and so I had to go in for a particular test , a stress test , and I couldn't do it on the treadmill anymore , all this stuff , right . So I so I'm in there , I'm laid up and they're doing whatever they're doing and I'm watching everybody's face and I'm like what's wrong with y'all ? They're like I said I need for all of you in this room to know that I watch Grey's Anatomy . I said , and your body language is telling me a whole lot in this room . I said , said , and you , the technician , I know you can't tell me anything , you only can read it and you can't say anything . So they laugh so hard . They're like this lady is crazy . But no , I'm reading your body language . Oh well , listen , because I watch grace anatomy .

Janet Hale 49:34

So anyway , the doctor comes in , the doctor comes in , right doctor never comes in on stress tests . So y'all need to know I watch Grey's Anatomy and I know this is not normal . So the doctor stands up and he's . So I'm like did they tell y'all to watch Grey's Anatomy ? So they all just die laughing . And he said no . I said well , I'm looking at you and you seem very concerned . He said because I am . I said yeah , because I watch Grey's Anatomy and I'm just able to read all of y'all's rooms . Wait , wait , wait , listen . So then they snuck and called my doctor , right , so I could hear them whispering in other rooms . I'm like what the heck is going on . So then they came back . We have to release her Because , you know , my doctor's a doctor .

Janet Hale 50:19

Okay , he's like y'all , don't mess with my baby , none of his babies anyway . So when I saw him again , he's , he's a . He's a , I believe , african . So this accent , please forgive me not to offend anyone , but I'm gonna do my best . He goes , I'm gonna go to see him . I said the stress that I'm telling my wife , you girls , yes , yes , they called me . They want to put a case pacemaker in you . I say no , no , don't put no pacemaker in her , get her out of there . I said I knew they called you and so , anyway , the grace anatomy thing is , you know , we can learn a lot from .

Janet Hale 50:59

Grey's Anatomy , because everything I said was true , based on me watching Grey's Anatomy . How many years , how many years 21 , 21 years or 22 we can get our MD for sure , and I watched the first 7 seasons at least 4 times yeah , after I tried to get her to watch it for years , remember Well .

Candace Patrice 51:23

I stumbled upon it in college .

Janet Hale 51:25

I remember . Yeah , no , actually I stumbled upon it , it was you and Q wasn't it .

Candace Patrice 51:29

No , oh , actually Jaleesa used to watch it every day oh . Or every whatever .

Janet Hale 51:35

Mm-hmm .

Candace Patrice 51:36

But I was at home on summer vacation and it came on Lifetime and I saw season one , episode one .

Janet Hale 51:43

I got stuck , got caught up .

Candace Patrice 51:46

Show me more . Yes , another good show . What's that Station 19 . I know it's done . But I learned so much about firefighters watching that show ? Yes , we did , yes I did not know that they did all that they do . I know I'm now looking at firefighters like why we don't salute Tom when y'all walk by .

Janet Hale 52:04

Respect , all kind of respect .

Candace Patrice 52:06

I think y'all should be . I'm just saying this is war , this is everyday war y'all going into . I was like y'all gotta help people .

Janet Hale 52:13

And the care and compassion that they must have to do their job , the that they must have to do their job , the medical part that they have to know All of it . I didn't know they had to do anything medically . The one where they have the fire truck .

Candace Patrice 52:28

that was a medic . Yes , crisis one or something .

Janet Hale 52:30

Whatever you know , we both know what we're talking about . Anybody that watched the show knows what we're talking about . And then they have the doctor on there to take care of the man . I'm telling you so , yeah , to take care of the man . I'm telling you so , yeah , we're talking about what we watch . Yeah , it goes right back . We start . We're going back to where we started what we watch and what it feeds , right like gray's anatomy , that feeds us something that is good yeah it is good , even though we're not for real doctors though , but but but in our minds .

Janet Hale 53:00

You can't tell us . I told the doctors that , listen , I don't know what's going on .

Candace Patrice 53:05

Call me back to give me my MD .

Janet Hale 53:09

Yeah , I want mine too .

Candace Patrice 53:11

Howard or Harvard , I mean , I'm not biased .

Janet Hale 53:12

Yeah Well , I'll go with . Where did I go ? To Eastern and Wayne State , either one of them , Just do it .

Candace Patrice 53:19

I mean , I don't have to have a degree from your school already . Now that you know I have the education , just call me .

Janet Hale 53:26

Oh well , they're going to want something on the wall .

Candace Patrice 53:30

It's called an honorary degree , you know .

Janet Hale 53:33

Does it give us a piece of paper or something ?

Candace Patrice 53:35

All I'm saying is I don't need to have been .

Janet Hale 53:38

Oh , we know We've been to school for 22 years . Is I don't need to have been ? Oh , we know We've been to school for 22 years .

Candace Patrice 53:42

So any school can call me .

Janet Hale 53:44

Okay , got it . Got it . Accredited Any Accredited Right . We have to say these things University Right . We have to be intentional about this MD degree that we're going to get .

Candace Patrice 53:55

Right , I'll take the quiz . I know about . I know about arteries and things happening . I know some chambers to the heart . I know about brain aneurysms , all of those things I'm just saying I know it's about getting trached . All of that All of that . I know that people the pee bag needs to have a certain amount of urine . I'm talking about the MLs output . Yes , you know . Yes , there should not be blood in your urine . I'm talking about the MLs Output . There should not be blood in your urine .

Janet Hale 54:26

Never , because we know that .

Candace Patrice 54:29

And sometimes you got to get a catheter .

Janet Hale 54:31

Sometimes the catheter makes it go in the bag . We know about that .

Candace Patrice 54:36

Exactly . I know that sometimes , when people can't breathe on a very rare occasion you have to do a thyracotomy and you have to cut the throat .

Janet Hale 54:47

She did throw that big word in there .

Candace Patrice 54:51

To get the airways open .

Janet Hale 54:53

Grey's Anatomy , you guys , that's all we saying .

Candace Patrice 54:56

That's it . So if you are trying to give an honorary degree to someone who knows their stuff , Like we do . Call me oh , and labor and delivery Like yes , I know that too . We Absolutely .

Janet Hale 55:08

Hello .

Candace Patrice 55:08

Matter of fact , I got a video of my very own and I pulled the baby out .

Janet Hale 55:12

And I have that video too .

Candace Patrice 55:14

You do .

Janet Hale 55:15

Yes , baby .

Candace Patrice 55:16

Oh , yes , baby , we should watch it together . Oh , we should watch it together , we should . Me , you and Kamari .

Janet Hale 55:20

Yes , we should .

Candace Patrice 55:21

On that note , if anybody is traumatized by all the things that we just said , I'm very sorry , but you can call 988 or text 988 to the Suicide Prevention Lifeline . However , we do hope that this episode brought you a little bit of joy , a little laughter , some fun , make you think about what you're intaking into your mind , what you're watching what is the last thing ?

Candace Patrice 55:48

that you watched and see how it made you feel , or what you're going to watch , and then pay attention to how you feel , how you maneuver through the day , how what you're going through affects or what you see is affecting what you're actually going through . Or are you noticing that what you're watching is closer to what's happening in your real life ? Because it gives you a sense of , maybe , relief or it makes you feel like you're not alone ? There are many different reasons why people watch what they watch , so try to try to pay attention to that if you get an opportunity to . If you made it this far in the podcast at this point .

Janet Hale 56:19

That's funny .

Candace Patrice 56:21

Which we thank you . We thank you Follow Essential Motivation . No , yes , essential Motivation on Facebook .

Final Thoughts and Contact Information

Candace Patrice 56:29

Candace Patrice_ EM . I believe that handle is changing again so I'll keep you updated . You can email Candace Fleming@ Essential Motivation . com . You can go to the website at EssentialMotivationcom . You can follow Janet's website at HaleEmpowermentLLCcom . And questions , comments , concerns just shoot me an email or hit that text button yes .

Janet Hale 56:54

Interact , so we will know .

Candace Patrice 56:56

Thank you , guys . Did you have any last words that you wanted to give Mother ?

Janet Hale 56:59

Oh , this was fun . So thank you , and thank you all for listening and tuning in with us .

Candace Patrice 57:10

All right guys , as always , love hard , forgive often and laugh frequent . Bye , bye .