Essential Mental Healing
Essential Mental Healing
Consistency While Working Through Challenges and Changes
It's Therapy Thursday!!
When life throws a curveball, how do you respond? Join me, Candace Patrice, and my wonderful mother, Janet Hale, as we navigate the rollercoaster of family life when illness hits home. Despite my crazy schedule, there was no question about being there for my mom, reminding us of the power of familial bonds and the little acts of care that mean the world. Through laughter and nostalgia, we explore how life's unexpected moments can bring us closer, making us appreciate the love and support we often take for granted.
Ever wondered how to keep your cool when everything around you is chaotic? We dive into the art of maintaining consistency during life's many surprises, from health hiccups to unforeseen scheduling conflicts. Our journey takes a personal turn as Janet shares the spiritual roots that connect her to her African ancestry, offering insight into how spirituality transcends traditional religious structures. This exploration of faith and identity invites listeners to reflect on their own beliefs and the deep connections that shape who we are.
Family, friendship, and community are the heartbeats that keep us going. We celebrate the intricate dance of parenting, balancing the roles of both a guiding parent and a trusted friend to our children. With stories from a moving exhibit at the Brooklyn Museum and cherished moments with dear friends, we shine a light on the importance of community. By honoring the past while nurturing the future, we emphasize the values of love, forgiveness, and laughter, inviting you to embrace the connections that enrich our lives.
Host Candace Fleming
Co-host Janet Hale
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Music by Lukrembo: https://soundcloud.com/lukrembo
Provided by Knowledge Base: https://bit.ly/2BdvqzN
Hello and welcome back to another episode of Essential Mental Healing, where I am your host, Candace Patrice, and joining me today is my co-host, as always, my lovely mother, jenny Teal. Hello, hello, hi, hello. Started as a reminder. Go and follow our social media um Instagram, candace Patrice, underscore E M? Um website, essential motivationcom. Hell, empowermentcom LLCcom, sorry. And then email Candace Fleming at essential motivationcom and then, of course, you can text from the show link whatever platform you guys are looking at. All right, so how are you? How have you been? What's life like so?
Janet Hale:I am all right, candace, and I'm glad we are having this program. They don't know how late we are, but I'm going to tell them we're in the evening and we are relaxing and we are recovering. We both had a bottle of something, I don't know what. We took turns. I think that's the first. I think the sugar baby started it. She just got sick. When she was on my couch that day coughing and you was like oh well, mom, well, I remember that Anyway, well then, that really sucks.
Candace Patrice:If that's well, I guess I did.
Janet Hale:I don't know.
Candace Patrice:I don't know, no, because I was going to say the virus she's supposed to be immune, so how she get it again.
Janet Hale:But then it wasn't the same thing, because whatever she gave you, I didn't have what you had. Then she got what I had. So poor baby didn't have two strengths. No, poor, all three of us, because we were all down for the count all the way down. I mean, we're different, like you said, I don't think it was the same thing. Yeah, I really don't.
Candace Patrice:But it was like, had me, I said, okay, I'm down for the count, but even though I think my, I think yours, might have been worse than, but it was like I said okay, I'm down for the count, Even though I think yours might have been worse than mine.
Janet Hale:Oh, it was bad.
Candace Patrice:Because I didn't have any coughing, any feet. Mine was 24, well, 12 hours extremely bad of liquids. Sorry guys for the imagery there. And then I was able to, then it was just weakness.
Janet Hale:And then it started. All my energy started coming back. So I think I would take that I was, that I'm in a position where I was allowed to take it easy and give my body time to heal. I'm grateful to have a daughter by the name of Candace. That was so funny, you guys. Let me tell y'all about this. So I'm happy. You know, I'm like when I get sick I let sick be sick. Okay, I lay all the way out all that stuff. So you know I don't be trying to pretend. I be like look, I'm sick for real, it's going down. So I called her. I'm like, oh, I'm sick, I need you.
Janet Hale:Can you special honey that my niece told me to get Local honey everyone To go on your tea, and so I was like, can I need to go to the health food store? And my niece was talking about somewhere and I said, no, there's one closer by, and all this stuff. And so I had a couple of requests. If she could get those things for me, she's like, yeah, I'll get them for you, but I'm going to say Suka Baby, to keep her name anonymous or whatever, but anyway, we've probably said her name a thousand times.
Candace Patrice:A thousand times Okay so.
Janet Hale:I'm Suka Baby have to play tonight. I'm going to New York, but I'll get it over there Now, I feel bad about me feeling like I'm about to die and this girl telling me this is her agenda. But I'm going to try to get over it. Okay, I'm going to work it out. And this is her all the time. Everybody and I'm like man, I got to figure out I'm going to have to find another person to get over here because I couldn't see her doing it. I promise you that.
Janet Hale:But I just said to her out loud I look up, the child is in my house in my kitchen With the stuff, okay, and got me so together.
Candace Patrice:Yay.
Janet Hale:And man, okay, that's making me a little emotional, because not everybody has that, you know.
Candace Patrice:Yeah.
Janet Hale:Because, you know, when a man down, you know it's always good to know that you have somebody that's going to care enough to jump in there, even though she has a flight, she's got a performance, she's got a performance and she's got all these things. But in all those things you took the time to be like look, okay, I got you. Mama Even was putting the stuff up. Guys, I was sick, it was a mess. I looked the way I felt I came out of my room and made it to the kitchen because I was weak as I don't know what. My kid just took one look at me and flew out the house. She was like, oh no.
Candace Patrice:That was not my sentiment. Wait a minute, oh no, your sentiment. That was a different sentiment. Wait a minute, oh no, your sentiment. I mean, that was a different experience for me. I didn't do that, yeah.
Janet Hale:Which is what you did. And I even had the special request to go by the health food store, not just a regular store. You know what I mean. So you did the things, and the thing was for me to stay in the back because I didn't want you to get whatever that was, and then for you to put the things up, but I wanted to see you, the living dead. That came to the kitchen. All I knew was you were gone. You took a look at me.
Candace Patrice:And that's all I saw. Was you leaving?
Janet Hale:I said okay with the trash oh, and took the trash out, because she always takes my trash out, and you know so okay, well, so she told.
Candace Patrice:she told her story. Now I'm half dead back from New York. Tuesday I got hit real bad just out of. I'm half dead back from New York. Tuesday I got hit real bad. I don't know. I'm at work and throwing up, but not bad because I didn't feel bad. I was like, ooh, that was strange, I think I gagged. Then I started not feeling well. Then Tuesday just went really bad.
Candace Patrice:Wednesday I needed things and I was going to wait because Kamari's father had to pick her up because I couldn't go get her. And I'm like, well, maybe somebody bring something, maybe he'll be able to bring it at that time. All of a sudden it was about 12. I was talking to my mom. She's like that's a long time. I want to say an hour later. She's like that's a long time, I want to say an hour later. She's like unlock your door. I've got you all the things you've asked for. But didn't ask for. And I'm like, oh, my goodness. But I was so grateful and she accidentally got the soup I actually wanted. I wanted chicken, lemon rice soup, but that's so specific. And she was like I got you soup from the restaurant up the street but they only had this chicken and rice and I was like chicken lemon rice.
Candace Patrice:She was like, yeah, I was like that's what I wanted, so it worked out so perfect. And having the Gatorade and the orange juice, and it was just. It was really nice to have it reciprocated as well. But just to have a mommy was really nice to have it reciprocated as well, but just to have a mommy. And then my daughter got sick until thursday. Now I'm trying to take care of her and then being able to care for her the way that she you know all three of us just really took care of each other and that is really nice you know what?
Janet Hale:yes, three generations, like we're to get through this. Because I wasn't well when I went over there, oh, I had a whole thing I didn't even take man, I was like whoa, that thing hit me again. Yeah, I said it in a different kind of way, kind of how you said it yeah, was it the energy?
Janet Hale:It was the bathroom. Oh Sorry. I said what is this? Because I'm feeling like, okay, I'm on the. That happened. I said hold on. And then the cable man had to come. He was coming, oh yeah, so I'm waiting on the text. But then the emergency jumped off and I'm like, okay, oh my God, this is horrible, let me take care of all those things. So I come in the gym and I look at my phone and it says the cable man is on his way, blah, blah, blah. And then I look and it said the cable man is there, but it may take him a moment to come in.
Candace Patrice:I'm like no, the cable man is here.
Janet Hale:So I go to the front. I see the cable man, the truck, the car, whatever. Now I call my window and I'm like that's crazy, he can't hear me. Oh, that's funny. I had to come to that conclusion on my own. Then I opened my door because I was like if I holler out he can't hear me. That's possible.
Candace Patrice:He could hear you if you yell out.
Janet Hale:I don't know.
Janet Hale:I didn't have a lot to yell out, my voice was not on there I'm still dealing with trying to get better Open the door and then he finally looked and he was walking towards and I'm like, oh man, come on in. He's like I knocked on the door, listen. He said I kept knocking on the door and I said, oh, I'm so sorry. I think I was in the restroom or something like that. I didn't tell them the whole story but, which was a very interesting experience for me, I didn't tell you about this. So, yeah, because I called the cable people, I did tell you about this. All of a sudden, your data is 90% used.
Candace Patrice:Oh yeah, you told me all about it?
Janet Hale:When did this happen? And I remember trying to get the bill reduced and all that I said hold up. So I called the people. I said I know I'm on the recorded line. I always say that because they need to know that.
Janet Hale:I know that you're recording this. However, there's a problem, and I feel like I got fast-talked into something and agreed to something that was not that great. I said to save the $10 and to lose some of our benefits is not a good deal for me, and so the lady said that's exactly what happened. Oh, okay. Anyway, you guys, I had the woman on the phone for about an hour. We laughed. She asked that I know I'm on the recorded line and they're probably going to say you were on the line with me too long. However, you are my therapist at this moment and she laughed hard. I said because listen. I said because listen, I've been with the service that I'm with for many moons. I said these prices are crazy. I said because I think you're one of the best in town, but y'all need to look at after we get a certain age coming down off that price and the automated system. People of a certain age we don't.
Candace Patrice:And I told you that's not of a certain age. I'm tired of automated systems.
Janet Hale:I told you what I told you. You told me what you know. You was like mama no, it's not about age, sick of it. That thing kept on understanding my issues. Right now I need a person on the phone, and so, and then the cable guy came and I had him in here for an hour talking and he needed to talk. This is interesting about life and people connections. You just never know when you're making somebody's day.
Janet Hale:I'm sick, but I'm. You know this mouth don't stop it, just the hell. Well, it stops for a minute.
Candace Patrice:No, it don't Day one sick he was dying. Why are you trying? No, it don't. Because you was day one sick. You was yeah. Why are you trying to talk?
Janet Hale:What in the whole world? So the guy is he needed to talk and I felt privileged that he felt that he could trust me enough because he shared some stuff, that he felt that he could trust me enough, because he shared some stuff, to be able to have this conversation that I'm sure he's been needing to have, because, you know what you guys Not everybody have a safe space, you know, and it's good to be able to be a safe space or to be recognized as a safe space. That's how I took it, because I didn't know this person, but that's what happened with the cable people.
Janet Hale:Oh the other thing. I'm glad we're back and also to the audience. I'm going to kind of say what she said. I think she said it, I'm not sure, but it's real important that for us to get your feedback, because we know you're listening, we are able to see what's going on. But getting your feedback would be very important to us so that we'll know how to better service you, because we are here for you. Check this one out. So you just heard the story. Me and her have been sick, under the bed, under the couch, everywhere, but we said for you that we needed to do a podcast.
Janet Hale:Am.
Candace Patrice:I right, kat? Yes, and today's podcast is about what we've already been talking about Consistency and unexpected changes and challenges. Yes, like my mom was sick during well one, I was in New York. We were going to actually this is wild we had a guest scheduled she's going to be on our next episode and she was under the weather. I was also in New York, so it kind of worked out, but I was going to shoot it. I did a shoot the podcast in New York, but that changed the schedule because she was unable to record and then you were also sick, so that didn't make for very good recording. Then I got sick, which then pushed us again.
Candace Patrice:So it's, you know, what do you do when you want to be consistent? You want to keep doing things because it always looks good to be consistent and it looks good for it feels good to be consistent and you want to show up consistently. But then things happen. But then things happen and I know for me, when things happen, it can make me feel like I'm letting other people down, and that is I think that works for or that's the sentiment for a lot of people is that it's a, it's a letdown when that happens. So how do we move through that and understanding that these are things beyond our control and that we have to give grace and move through them? How do we continue to show up as best we can in our consistency that becomes inconsistent because of, or inconsistent because of, changes and challenges in this world? That's why we went from year round podcast to seasonal, taking the summer off. Because it's trial and error. I guess that's the answer it's trial and error. You're going to figure it out.
Janet Hale:And also, yes, and to add to that, learning to pivot and because challenges will come, unexpected change and challenges will come and learning how to pivot, because you and I had to pivot and be in agreement with the pivot, right, okay. And so the consistency to me is that me pause and time to think and self-reflect, because you know, that's one of the things that I do and one of the things in there was, say, I'm not religious and how that may be misinterpreted by others. And I thought about that and I had a conversation about that. People who know me know, but those who don't may not know. And I said, and I went through the whole thing, I'm not religious. You know, I'm a deeply spiritual person. I need to say that. And as I was talking to this person, there were some words to assist. I want to try them out on you, candice. All right, let's do it. You ready?
Candace Patrice:Wait, what's my role? What am I supposed to do? Listen, just listen, do.
Janet Hale:I respond Be back. Oh, you know, I want to be back, oh, okay, so wait, wait wait, is this an? Activity on which I. This is when I say I'm not religious. This is a deeper meaning to that. Okay, just listen.
Candace Patrice:Got it and feedback Got it.
Janet Hale:I am I'm not going to say the dang word, and I say it all the time Indigenous to the African continent. Connection to the spirits, traditions and practices of my ancestors that are embedded in my DNA and blood memories. My question to you, candice does that sound? How does that differ for you?
Candace Patrice:Could you repeat that? Is this your response to not being religious Right?
Janet Hale:Because I'm deeply spiritual. Okay, Repeat that. Okay, I am indigenous to the African continent. Connection to the spirits, traditions and practices of my ancestors that are embedded in my DNA and my blood memory that are embedded in my DNA and my blood memory.
Candace Patrice:So I think that it's wonderful. I love the definition, I love the identification. However, I don't think it touches on the religious part, because it doesn't identify your, your connection to God, which you say you identify a God.
Janet Hale:So when I hear that and I disagree, Okay, Let me tell you why. Yeah, when we go back to God, I wish and Angel and. I love her Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. I'm not saying that out loud, but anyway, that's okay.
Candace Patrice:Liberatedgirlscom.
Janet Hale:Hello, I'm sure she would. I could say that to her right away. Right, so there is okay. So for me, I've been fortunate enough to go, you know, because in our culture a lot of generations have been taken away from us. I mean, we just it is what it is. The story is what the story is right. So for me, I'm able to go back as far as your great-grandmother, right, who you are fortunate enough to meet, right. So I go back and I honor the ways in which my ancestors believed in the spirituality or the way that I believe they did in God.
Candace Patrice:So how did they believe in God?
Janet Hale:They did it, but it was a spiritual thing there was. Maybe there were no buildings, there was this whole church thing, this whole division there was. There may have been division I take that back because we think about that throughout our lives it's been division but it was just purely on or mostly about being spiritually connected.
Candace Patrice:But what does?
Janet Hale:spiritually connected. Look like it looks like. Or what are the practices when something? It's not about a practice, okay, it's something. It's when the spirit, when something touches your spirit and your soul. So sometimes with that there are no words really to articulate that. I mean you can come up with a couple, that's fine, but it has a lot to do with that and not identifying with you know, so your inner God. Okay.
Janet Hale:See that's your interpretation. I'm asking that's actually a question, but see. But here's the thing. I think inner God is in all of us.
Candace Patrice:No, that's fine, you know what I mean. I too believe that. I'm just trying to understand or make it make sense, especially if you're explaining it to others and what they hear.
Janet Hale:I am not religious, mm-hmm, I am not religious, mm-hmm.
Janet Hale:Okay, and the whole thing about the God thing, when we talk about the indigenous people and our ancestors, that in itself, in my mind, should speak to the spiritual realm of things. And it just should, because that's what I hear you saying without using it, because it's all about, for me, the spiritual connection to the higher source, to the universe, whatever it is that we call it God. I mean, you know me, I'm open to whatever, but my and I know this, and I say this because, when we look at our history, we did a lot of things by through storytelling, which I do with you a lot, and passing our history down in that manner. So when we, for me, when I get into this conversation about not being religious and people interpreting that to mean that I don't, I guess, don't, have a spiritual compass, because some people feel that way, when you say that or that I don't believe in a higher source, I don't know and that's not the case you know, because I do, but I do in the way that I do.
Janet Hale:You follow me, and so I just wanted to clear that, because when that question was asked to me, it stuck with me. Gotcha, it did. It stuck with me and I had conversations around it.
Candace Patrice:You know, because I think you may say the word religion more than anyone that I know. Or religious, I think I do too.
Janet Hale:I think I do too, and you know a lot of times for me I get a kick out of it. I know, I don't know, but I really get a kick out of it and that, and sometimes I do understand that people may misinterpret what it?
Janet Hale:is. So let's just be 1000 about this whole process that we're talking about. However, there's a lot of things that I do know and I like to be educated, I like to read, I like to find out what I need to know or what I want to know, and so there are some folks, when I say that, they start and I'm like, oh, you don't do that, because now and then, every now and then, I'll, you know, have something to say.
Janet Hale:Wait a minute, didn't she just say she wasn't religious? But when she just said something that they said in a Bible, what was she? Well, you know.
Candace Patrice:I believe, as I've said before, there are a lot of great practices for everyone in the Bible just about being a good person, and so I think a lot of times, when you do do the quotes from the Bible, they are applicable to everyone, to every human. So it's not like I don't think you're giving you never give any religious advice, more so than just for one. I'll say this this is something I wanted to say everything works together for our good, and I came to that when I was thinking about what it is to be consistent and seeing how sometimes, when we have to pivot, it is still working together for our good. But that's also a saying in the Bible. But if someone doesn't know that, it doesn't matter, because it's a basic principle.
Candace Patrice:When you can see that something that may have affected you a year ago is now, you can see how it's working together for your good. Or let's say, there's a business that you have and you had to shut that business down and you didn't understand why, because now you feel like a failure, you put everything into this and to have to shut something down, but not realizing that one year later the doors that open for you wouldn't have been open had that business not been shut down. How everything works together for our good. One of those things that I've been thinking of recently is Brandon, who is my brother. Really. Yeah, let me tell you, I think all things work together for his good, and I say that because he got married to a thug woman.
Janet Hale:We love her.
Candace Patrice:He was a thug man. Yes, I love you. Yes, and she was pregnant with their thug twin babies, to our understanding, and had a miscarriage with their thug twin babies, to our understanding, and had a miscarriage, and then he was killed in 2016. And then she died in 2017, but like New Year's Day the next day or so. It was like January 2nd. They both died within a year of each other.
Candace Patrice:However, when I look at things, I'm like man. So it's him, her and two babies in heaven, like low key that all worked together for their good. Depending on the belief system and what you think could be good hey, can't ask God to take care of your brother and his wife and we got twins on the way and it's like wait. But when I read that everyone's gone, so I'm like I'm praying to God that your God family is good, right, like all things working together. That's just the way it hit me, because I don't even know why I read that letter. I don't know why I went and did these things, but for me it was confirmation that he's okay with his wife and children in heaven or wherever they are in a great place. So that's the way I kind of look at that, like he could have had any wife and she could have still been here while he was gone. But they're together and I think that's beautiful. I think that's so beautiful you was a little mad.
Janet Hale:after Capri's time you said, Mama, she came and took my brother Remember.
Candace Patrice:Oh yeah.
Janet Hale:Because his name was all in me, yeah, and then when she came and got him that, did happen.
Candace Patrice:That definitely happened, but see even more confirmation though. Okay, yeah, you know that they're together. Like he couldn't be with me if he got a whole wife to go be with.
Janet Hale:See you can't do this, yeah, and I think, when you mentioned those two I think they're not everyone knows them, but those that know them know them that their way of living For some may have Just been all over, but I think that they had. I think they had the formula, you see, because here's the thing, they didn't care what you thought. Please, everybody know that, please know that, and they stuck together Period.
Janet Hale:Now they got into an argument I'm about to tell it and my little sister and my cousin was over there. They tried to get in and take up for one of them. I can't remember. Brandon and Caprice turned on both of them. That's how they were. That's them. That's who they were. That's how it went. They were married. They's who they were. That's how it went. They were married and they meant to stay married. They loved each other in their own way.
Candace Patrice:Man.
Janet Hale:They were together until the end.
Candace Patrice:They were consistent in their craziness.
Janet Hale:They were consistent, that's true. They would take their show on the road and get a call in their craziness. And they were consistent, that's true, that's a real truth. And they would take their show on the road. And then they did this. Oh, they took their show on the road, man, but oh, wow, that's cool, candice, it's huge.
Candace Patrice:Everything is working together for our good, even me being sick. I wanted to be able to be at home and do nothing, and granted, it took a big hit in the first day. But to be able to sit in the house and just lay, or take a moment and listen to the sounds of the ocean on a meditation app, or to catch up on a movie or some shows with my daughter, or to laugh with her. She tells me not to be on my phone and she catches me and I throw the phone in the air as if I wasn't on the phone and she goes, mother.
Janet Hale:With her. Okay, you're good, you're good.
Candace Patrice:It's like getting caught as a kid y'all.
Candace Patrice:It's hilarious when she see I don't pick up my phone we find ways to balance and we are open with the kids. Like right now I told her I'm gonna go to the bat, gonna shoot the podcast. If you need me, silently creep in and let me know. But she usually gives me the time and she does whatever she does for a little bit of time. I always tell her, don't get into no trouble. But she's eating and she does, we have a thing. And then when I'm done she's like okay, it's our time again and then we go and do our things and it's.
Candace Patrice:You know, I have to be consistent in that part for her and I do my best at being so that we can maneuver as best we can as mother and daughter and as friends. I know parents don't like to say that and when I say friends I don't mean it in the aspect like my friend, but she is but also to be a model of a friend. So when she goes and has her friends she'll know what it's like to be a good friend to someone, as she watches me be a friend to other people as well. So you know, if we're out and having a good time, I can model that. You know if we're out and having a good time I can model that and if I need to discipline or put some structure in areas, I can do that too, because she still respects me as her mom. But it is finding that balance in life.
Candace Patrice:And I was having a conversation with someone who was talking about if the old way wasn't broke, why fix it? Oh, it was broke. Broke, why fix it? And oh, it was broke. And I was explaining to them that I feel like we're trying to eliminate the trauma of raising children and what what that looked like like there were. There were things that went really well with the way, um, your generation or your mother's generation raised kids, but there were some things that could use improvement. So now we're in a place of trying to find that balance and some people have gone off the deep end and they're like I'm not doing anything but being a friend and have to, you know, find their balance. And I think we're creating new norms, creating new norms.
Janet Hale:I agree. I think you're an excellent mother. Everybody knows that. Listen to us. I love the way you parent. I love the way that you allow her to be who she is. She's a lot, you guys, she can carry five ass on her own.
Janet Hale:Sit up and do the Wendy Williams on you. So but I did want to. I sent Candace something last night. I want to read this as a mother, this is to my daughter, to my grown daughter. As a mother, that's me, that's her. As a mother, you are not replaceable. Let that sink in Show. When you think so, when you think you're not enough, just know that you are exactly everything. I hope you never second guess your worth or value ever again. The end, the end.
Candace Patrice:Period and you know I read that and I think it really sank in that a mother is everything Like. There is only one yes, only one mother can give birth to a child, and that's so special, special, and I was sharing with my mom how I felt so honored to be able to take care of my daughter, to be able to let her throw up in the space that she was in and find a way to maneuver so that it was okay for her and me. But she didn't feel any kind of way about being sick. I didn't want her to feel like she was a burden or that it was a problem that she was having what she was going through.
Candace Patrice:There was a point when she was throwing up and I was just like you're doing so good, I'm proud of you, and she was like I'm doing so good, I'm so proud of me. We were just both happy that she was able to get through it. That was it. That was a simple thing, just getting through it. And I know it was so hard for her and I know she wanted to cry at times when she didn't, simply because I think I created a space that let her know it was okay.
Janet Hale:She was comfortable.
Candace Patrice:Yes, and she just would release whatever needed to be released. And I said don't you worry about how many times we got to go through? She said I love you, I love that you love me or that you care about me, and it just gave me a little extra boost of energy. I think that's why I'm winded today.
Janet Hale:She said the magic words. She said all kinds of magic words. She put the energizer battery in you, but I was listening to you about the tiles and the throne of it and it reminded me of when you were young and I used to love crystal, okay, and I had crystal pieces all over the house, special pieces too, like really nice little pieces, and so when Candice would clean up, deliver.
Candace Patrice:She put butter on her crystals. I'm telling you, no, I didn't, no, I didn't. She had to put butter on them crystals. She was buttering them?
Janet Hale:No, I didn't, she buttered him. She's like oh, mom, I'm sorry I broke one of your and I would just look over and go, okay, it'd be a special piece, I'd be like it's okay. You know? Nope, it happened more than once. You guys, this was like on a consistent basis.
Candace Patrice:Okay, it was only like three pieces of crystal.
Janet Hale:No, it was more than three pieces of crystal. No, it was more than three, but that's okay, it's more than three, but but but on the other hand, I, when you kept breaking them, I probably should have moved them. Now that I think about it, I'm trying to put it all on you like. This shit cannot handle this. If you want the crystal, janet, move it, yeah pretty much. But I say all that to say this I don't feel that you felt like oh my God, or did you?
Candace Patrice:Mm-mm, Nope, you was like I tried to create that for Kamari too, because she broke one of my Barbados souvenirs.
Janet Hale:Are you okay?
Candace Patrice:Oh yeah, I was like it's okay, it's just broke. But I got that from you. Oh, thank you, but it didn't hurt me either, because it was so simple. I mean, yeah, it was a souvenir from Barbados and it's okay. It broke, okay. What can we do now? Move on or get some glue and put it together like one of the two.
Janet Hale:What are we going to do?
Candace Patrice:What are we going to do? We're not going to sit here and be upset about a mistake, an accident. That's right, it's an accident. So we just move forward and she apologized and we kept moving. That's it. There's no shame in a mistake.
Janet Hale:Say that so they can hear you. Okay, there's a. I mean, there's no shame in a mistake. Ooh, say that. Say that so they can hear you. Okay, uh-oh, there's a bass coming.
Candace Patrice:There's no shame in a mistake. I didn't like that one. There's no shame in a mistake, Okay baby, there's no shame in a mistake.
Janet Hale:I said say it loud enough so they can hear you.
Candace Patrice:There is no shame in a mistake.
Janet Hale:Exactly. Wow, can we put that on a T-shirt?
Candace Patrice:I think so. So if you or someone you know is suffering, or having hard times. You can definitely call or text 9887 days a week, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Whatever you're going through, find your safe place, Find your happy place.
Janet Hale:Go ahead and sometimes we don't get to our happy place. I know I don't mean to be double down, I promise Well, everybody doesn't, right. But sometimes it's okay to sit in whatever you need to sit in until you get through what you need to get through. Just like her and I had to go through what we went through. We had to get through it, get through it Because there was nothing we could do about it. Oh, I could. I don't think she could either, but you know sometimes, you know, it can be kind of hard for some folk.
Candace Patrice:Yeah, I want to give a shout out to a friend of mine who allowed me to stay with her in New York and just allowing me and my daughter to rest in her home, which was so beautiful, and she may never hear this podcast or this part, but it meant so much to me. It was a very homey place, it was love, it was family, it was sisterhood, it was friendship, it was community. It is exactly what the world needs and I got to experience that on a very beautiful level. So I thank you, my friend, I thank you, I thank you, I thank you, my friend, for that. And then shout out to the First Jubilee Singers. I went to go see a exhibit at the Brooklyn Museum and the exhibit it was beautiful and I was actually able to go with one of the singers during that time who was a staple of that piece. So shout out to you all, shout out to her.
Candace Patrice:And yeah, just shout out.
Janet Hale:You know I was talking earlier and I know I've said this before, but it's so cool because your people will find you like your village. And I do know your friend from New York who went to Howard with you and I find her adorable. I haven't seen her in a long time, but she's a sweetie, yeah, and so it's good to hear that you were able to connect with her. And then the other person I've met, who's a darling in her own right and that is what's so cool is she allows it to be just that way. So kudos to you. You pick your friends like you pick your fruit, hey.
Candace Patrice:Fisk Jubilee Singers. Okay, what an honor, what an honor. All right, guys, thank you, thank you. Thank you so much for listening, thank you for being present, thank you for continuing to let this show thrive and share it with someone. Um, we're just truly grateful. Always remember to love hard, forgive often and laugh frequent. Bye, guys, bye.
