Breaking Free: Judy Larson's Journey From Near Death at 4 to High Vibration Self Awareness

Ever felt trapped in your life's circumstances, unsure how to break free? Our special guest, Judy Larson, shares her profound journey from feeling out of place in her own family to navigating the pressures of adulthood. Facing a marriage to an alcoholic and the shadow of her father's struggles, Judy battled low self-esteem and depression, culminating in a pivotal episode that challenged her mental health. Her story sets the stage for an exploration into holistic healing and the importance of addressing the whole person in the quest for wellness.

Judy also open up about her transformative journey, sparked by a critical therapy session that helped her confront buried emotions, including anger towards her father. This path led her through challenges like divorce and financial fears, ultimately embracing a holistic approach to mental health. She pursued a degree in social work, realizing the limitations of traditional methods, and found personal healing with universal love and guidance. These experiences have inspired her to consider writing a book, despite initial doubts about her writing skills.

We delve into themes of empowerment and personal transformation, highlighting the upcoming Wise Woman Academy, designed to support women ready to embrace their inner wisdom. Throughout our discussion, the three of us emphasize the importance of love and forgiveness in overcoming trauma and choosing one's community. We touch on the complexities of childhood trauma, the power of spiritual connections, and the journey from living in the mind to living in the heart. Join us for a heartfelt conversation that encourages embracing unique journeys with love, trust, and a community spirit.

Judy Larson
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Chapters

• 0:05 Journey to Mental Healing
• 12:32 A Journey of Healing and Transformation
• 24:12 Empowerment Through Personal Transformation
• 40:41 Healing Program Discussion and FAQs
• 52:25 The Power of Love and Forgiveness
• 1:05:57 Connecting With Essential Motivation

Transcript

Candace Patrice: 0:05

Hello and welcome back to another episode of Essential Mental Healing, where I am your host, candice Patrice, and joining me, as always and forevermore and never leaving again, is our co-host, janet Hill, who dipped out on us for a second last season. I'm glad to be back, so glad to have you back. It's not the same without you, it's just not. And we also have a guest with us today, judy Larson, or Judith Larson. How are you today? I'm great.

Judy Larson: 0:43

How are you?

Candace Patrice: 0:44

Wonderful. Tell the people a little bit about you. You have very special skills and I don't know if you know, but, as we were talking, the work that you do is also something I'm getting into more of and looking at the whole person. So I can't wait to get into that. But go ahead, tell them a little bit about yourself, who you are, what you do, what you've been through, how we got here. We'll take them on a journey.

Janet Hale: 1:10

Let me sip this coffee, come on.

Judy Larson: 1:15

Well, my name is Judy Larson. Like she said and it's been a long story it started way back or a long journey. I should say it started way back, or a long journey, I should say, when I was four years old. But I didn't know any of that at the time. I just knew at four years old I didn't fit in with my family, I didn't belong, it was just something different about me. But I just kept to myself and that's the only way I was ever happy, just wanted to be outside and feel safe in my home, but no love from my parents.

Judy Larson: 1:48

So continued on, graduated from high school and was getting ready to go to school to be a hairdresser, and at that time it really just took me into another whole element. I lived a very, very I would call, sheltered life. I went to a Catholic school. You went to school. You came home. You went to school, you came home, unless I went to a basketball game or something. You weren't really out amongst the world, you know, and so that was like an eye to me, ooh, and I wanted to fit in. I wanted to be part of the crowd, because I never fit in before. So what's the next thing I do I start smoking? What, judy, you're going to smoke About that time? Yeah, it's cool. What were you smoking? Cigarettes.

Candace Patrice: 2:41

Okay.

Judy Larson: 2:43

Not to the place. I was smoking two packs a day, oh wow, but you know that's another story. I was totally delivered from cigarettes in my journey, as as I'll talk about so anyway, I finished on beauty school, got done with that, met the fella that was going to soon become my husband and we knew each other for six months and we got married. I always told myself I'd never get married and I'd never have kids, because nobody wants to live like I lived. Well, here I am married and it didn't take long for me to figure out oh, judy, you married your dad. Dad, serious alcoholic, serious alcoholic. So now I've got a husband that's an alcoholic.

Judy Larson: 3:34

But in my upbringing I was told you get married, you make your bed, you live in it. So I got to make the best of it, bed, you live in it. So I got to make the best of it. And then I had a child, my first child, and I just kept putting on the face looking good. What's life like? Oh, it's great. Work, work, work, come home, so forth. But that didn't last. Pretty soon it was like oh, do I really have to stay in this marriage? Yada, yada, yada. Yes, judy, you have to stay in this marriage, don't give it any thought. Well, because I also had a very, very low self-esteem. I didn't like my body, I didn't like my looks. I hated every part of my being. And I look back and I probably hairdressing school at that time. You know, look at Judy, she looks good on the outside. If they only knew the Judy on the inside, because I didn't know that Judy either, you know, I just knew how to put on a good act, put on a good show smile.

Judy Larson: 4:46

It was really like I lived like a robot till I was maybe close to my 50s You're younger but there was a movie or a series out years ago called Stepford Wives, I think, and they get up like a robot. Look good, you know, that was me. I fit that to a T Until one day the depression hit me like I can't even explain it. It was like I didn't want to get up. I didn't want to do anything. It was just what's wrong with me. For quite a while I tried to put a smile on. In fact, my husband and I my youngest son we took a trip to see his sister, and this is to show you how bad my depression was. I probably I look back at it now I should have probably been in the hospital.

Judy Larson: 5:43

We got in the car. I don't remember anything except getting out once to go into the hotel so we could sleep and go on. I felt like I was moving at such a slow pace, just numb. I'd be telling myself what's wrong with me. What's wrong with me? It'll go away, it'll go away. It didn't. By the time I got to his sister's house, all I could think of was I have to go to bed, I have to go to bed. I just wasn't functioning. I don't know what she ever thought. I think I got up for maybe two hours the two days we were there. I just wasn't functioning and then we left, headed back home, and that's when I thought functioning, and then we left, headed back home and that's when I thought well, I gotta find out something.

Janet Hale: 6:28

What is this, this, this?

Judy Larson: 6:29

is. This is not right. And um, that's when I did go see a mental health worker just to see, and what they recommended is that I go on some antidepressants. And I thought, nope, we don't do that, that's for crazy people, judy's not going to go on any antidepressants. But I had to humble myself and eventually I did go on them and it made a difference, you know some part.

Judy Larson: 7:02

But as I moved on in my life and I look back, the one thing it did was just numb my emotions more. You know now I it wasn't feeling anything before walking around like a rule, but now I was even more numb, but I was functioning at a little bit of a higher level, I guess you could say. And then I got to the point in my well, there's so much I don't know. I left the Catholic church because I knew that. I knew I couldn't stay in this marriage anymore. And it took me seeing somebody else, a pastor, to say, will I really go to hell, me seeing somebody else, a pastor, to say, will I really go to hell if I get a divorce? I can't do this anymore, I just can't do it. Well, got out of that faith and got the divorce and turned around and started going to a Pentecostal church Because in my mind at that time you better go to church because that's where you get God's love, god's acceptance and man's love. You know it's all perform, perform, perform. So I got addicted to that also. I showed up to every solitary thing. There was the one real well, there was more, but the one really good piece that came from that.

Judy Larson: 8:23

One day I went in with a friend. They were doing a Bible study and I thought a Bible study? I've never heard of such a thing. So I thought you go to the Bible study, I'll just walk around. So I was walking around looking at all the little offices it didn't look like a church anyway. But I heard this pastor talking to these people about God has free gifts. So I tried to listen on the side Free gifts, and I thought, oh, I never heard of that. So I didn't give it any more.

Judy Larson: 8:55

Thought the Bible study was over, we left, went to have coffee and of course I was waiting to have a cigarette. I had a cigarette, but that thought just didn't leave me. So when I was dropped off at home, the first thing I did when I got in the house is I said you know, guy, do you really have free gifts? Because if you do, I don't want to smoke anymore. I thought nothing will come of that. I never had a cigarette after.

Judy Larson: 9:24

What happened is I got very sick to my stomach. I thought I had the flu. So I went in whatever, went to bed, woke up, the first thing I ever did in life was grab a cigarette. I don't want a cigarette. What, wow? And I thought this is going to wear off. No, I've never, ever had a cigarette again.

Judy Larson: 9:45

So I knew that I was on to something here, you know. But I didn't know all what it was. So that just made me keep going to that church, thinking I'm going to find out more, find out more. But what happened is I became so involved in that church to look good, put on the good act again, that now more depression was showing up, because we'd go to church and we had praise and worship and everybody would feel great. But when you went home I had my depression. Nothing changed in my life. What am I doing this for? Nothing is working. And then, lo and behold, I left that church.

Judy Larson: 10:28

But the fellow before that happened, the fellow in church that I could trust because I trusted people about that much. Come up to me. And he said you know, judy, I've been watching you. You've got to do something about that severe depression. And I thought what does this guy know? What does he want from me? Because I didn't trust people. But so I put a lot of demands on him. I said if you'll do this, this, this, this, this, this my list was a hundred feet long. I said maybe I'll talk to you. He looked at me this kind of face and he said sure, I can do that. I said is this guy crazy? And so he came to my house a couple times and I finally started thinking well, maybe I can open up and share a little bit of me with that person. And what happened is all of a sudden, in our conversation, anger came flying out of me. It was like rage. I thought what is this? I started having a panic attack.

Janet Hale: 11:37

I thought oh, whatever, I'll get myself into it, Yada yada, yada, yada.

Judy Larson: 11:41

He helped me get through that. Once I could calm down, he explained to me why that happened. Judy, you stuffed your feelings away at four years old, when your father attempted to beat you to death, and he said if you don't ever look at those, you might have freedom for a little while, but that depression is going to continue and you're still going to walk around like a robot and wonder what kind of life you're leading. So the first emotion was anger, and I had a panic attack because, see, I couldn't be in control of it. I had to be in my life. I had rules, regulations. Everything I did every day had to be robotic, because I had to be in control. Then I felt safe. Well, this took me out of my control. That's where the panic attack came from. But you know, we finished that session, I went out for a walk and all of a sudden it hit me. Something's a little different. I don't know what it is, but I felt a little lighter. I can't really explain it because I always lived in my head, and so we continued on to have more sessions. So what he did is he really opened me up to the opportunity to start looking at some emotions, Wrote a letter to my father, never knew how much anger and rage I had for my father, but I felt very guilty about that, because you have to love your parents. You know you can't ever be angry at your parents, they're your parents. And that set me free of a few more pieces and so I could at least say my depression wasn't so bad. So he quit working with me, I had my divorce and I started to have a little bit of confidence enough to say you know, maybe I can go to school. I have a child to raise. Yet how am I going to raise this child? Where's the income going to come from? Yeah, very scared, but I took a risk. I thought, well, I either get rejected or whatever.

Judy Larson: 13:51

So I went down to the college where I lived and I told them my situation single parent, I would really like to get a better education. And lo and behold, I qualified for everything at that time. I got grants, I got everything. I had to go on food stamps, which was a very humbling experience to me. Here's a woman who can work 50 hours a week, go get her make good money has to go on food stamps. So that set me down to woo. But it also made me realize well, do you want an education? How are you going to raise your son? So I forgave myself for that and moved on. I did graduate from college with a degree in social work and I graduated with a 3.9.

Judy Larson: 14:47

Now, to a lot of people, whatever to me I did not do well in school. I was stupid. My dad told me I was stupid. You never gonna want to think so. I went to school, went through the motions, you know, never got good grades. And uh, when I graduated with that, I thought what 3.9? And here's the thought that came to me. And here's the thought that came to me. Judy, it was your dad that told you you were stupid. You're not stupid, but it showed me again all the messages you listen to, all the stories you tell yourself Well, that's my dad, he must know. And so that set me free of another piece.

Judy Larson: 15:35

I went into the field, worked with adolescents for a while and all of a sudden realized everybody I'm working with seems to have addictions also. And I told myself I'd never work in the addiction field because I have a family full of it. But again, another humbling. Well, how are you going to work with these people. They have addictions. So I went back, got my addiction license, was grateful for that, but it was like I was telling your mom when you work, and nothing against mainstream society, mental health, whatever I've seen it in my years anyway it helps people to a degree, but it never helps them to really get to the core of the problem.

Judy Larson: 16:18

I'm dealing with that again at where I work right now, but knowing now I won't be staying there that much longer. You can do trauma therapy, you can do DBT, you can do CBT I mean the list goes on. I've done it from the inside out backwards. But if you don't get to a person's heart where the pain deeply is, it doesn't go away. I'm a walking proof of that. I had some of those. It didn't do nothing for me. It just didn't do anything. And every day, as we're talking, I think about it. I work with eating disorders right now and every day I'm only allowed to share so much with the people because the rules of no health field nothing against them has to be evidence-based.

Judy Larson: 17:15

It has to be this, this, this. Okay, I could give you a room full of wisdom in the last three years. That could be in a lot better place if I could have worked with them Not saying I'm whatever, but I could get them to deal with where they needed to go. And so I kind of just be grateful now that I have the job and that I'm working and I'm doing my own thing, so I know I won't have to be there too much longer. But in all that time of finding that out, there's been some more healing take place for me. Mm-hmm, once I had done that surrender and let go totally, I was telling your mom. It was like I can't explain it to you life-changing. I woke up from I don't know, just a whew and inside my heart I felt love. I had never felt that in my life.

Judy Larson: 18:15

What is this? Such a warm, welcoming feeling, and I thought I must be crazy. This isn't going to last very long. Figure it all out. Figure it all out. But it never went away. And then the universe started talking to me. No, first I thought I was crazy again. Oh no, judy. So I talked back. I'd say what do you want from me? What do you want from me? I've done this, I've done this. That voice, to this day, has not gone away. And I wouldn't say that if that wasn't truth beyond truth because I have put it to the test and beyond the test, why would you want to talk to me? What do you want from me? La la, la, la la la.

Judy Larson: 19:00

Some of the things I was asked to do, I'd question it. I mean, I put it to whatever. In fact, when I was shown you need to write a book, I thought sure you think I'm going to write a book. I thought sure you think I'm going to write a book. I'm not a writer. What do you want me to do? Write a book. But I was guided all the way to write that book. So that took relief off of me. Maybe this God isn't going to leave me one of these days, and maybe I'm not dreaming all this stuff up and whatever. So anyway, along that process, with his guidance, with some other things, I was finally shown, judy, you don't have to work for other people anymore. You're going to have your own business. You're going to be able to work from your heart. People will learn from everything you've been through in your life and you've experienced and I thought, oh really.

Judy Larson: 19:57

Well, I had to question that all back and forth too. But I wrote my book, started with there, and some days I'd be sitting down how am I going to do this? How am I going to create a program? How am I? How am I? Whatever? And the universe would show me pieces.

Judy Larson: 20:15

Just do a little of this. Some days I'd be getting going to my computer and I'd hear you know, we've got to write something, go to Word, we're going to write something. And I thought this can't be God, this just can't be God. Well, again, another test. Everything I'd write and I'd get done resonated, made so much sense to me. It was like right, and that's what led me to the place of.

Judy Larson: 20:43

I knew then, yes, I had done healing in my own life in many areas, but I needed to bring that broken piece of my soul to total healing. And that's when I did a soul retrieval and it just, I think it helped me be okay with it's okay, you don't have to think in your head all the time. And I just put perspectives on a lot of things that I still was trying to figure out in my head that I didn't need to do anymore. And so, after that was done, keep working on putting my program together, so forth, and I think I missed a little piece in there. In that time I also started working with a gentleman online who had worked with shamans for years. Well, that just zinged me, because I've always had a love for Native Americans. I mean, they lived a sacred life. They lived from the land. They were out there to look good, make it good. Universe took care of them, mother Nature took care and provided for them, and they appreciated that. We don't appreciate that in our world anymore. Maybe some do. Most don't Look what our world is. Take, take, take, take, take greed, this, that hate, whatever. And so, anyway, it was very interesting and I joined his group, which taught me a process of going from your head into your heart and letting everything dump into what you call a vortex. It dumps into the vortex. The universe takes it, takes it. It's gone. You can't take it back. I thought you watch me. I couldn't. It was gone and things really, really started to change in my life.

Judy Larson: 22:42

And then you can go back to putting the program together. I've got it almost to finish and what it will be about. There will be shamanism pieces in there, because I've been shown I'm a shaman medicine woman. Well, I didn't want to own that either. I thought what? Yeah, I like the shamans, but I was shown I have shamanism in my ancestry and they're working with me to help me do this work, to help heal people in the land again. So that made me feel a little bit better. So my program, you know, is going to have some of that in there. It will have the soul retrieval, it will have going back and doing some womb healing for women that are disconnected from trauma or rape, maybe a marriage, that type thing, and it'll also have a flicker of some pieces of modern-day mental health when they say inner child.

Judy Larson: 23:44

But I do it from a whole different perspective yeah yeah, coming with inside myself, not from the book, says what you're supposed to do. Yes, you know. Yes, yeah, I don't live from here anymore. It took me 50 years to go from here to here. Yes, because of what society? What I learned brainwash, whatever what I still see everywhere I go, and so I'm excited about that. And I could go on and on. But really, what I really want to share with you is the women that I'm going to work with. Are women who know they have some wisdom, they know there's something more to them, but they got to be really ready to do the hard work.

Judy Larson: 24:32

I work with women that aren't fully committed to themselves to make the change, because it's not easy work but it's rewarding work. When they're done, they will know themselves, like I know myself and everything that I teach, and so they have to be committed. They have to really be ready to say I'm fully going to do this because I'm a pretty straightforward person. Not everybody's going to like my personality because I tell it like it is. That's okay. Somebody had to tell me like it is so that I could finally wake up, judy and get it together, and so that's where I'm headed. That's what I'm going to be doing. I do like what we're doing now some podcasts. I'm on Instagram and I would say what's your Instagram? My Instagram is JudyLarson34. You'll see some of my things in there and what I've shared, but I'm going to start coming at it from a whole new angle because it's going to be pretty straightforward.

Judy Larson: 25:42

Our world doesn't have time to mess around anymore. Either you want to work on yourself or you go find somebody else. That sounds cruel. I don't care. That's love. I care enough about you that I'll stick with you, but you've got to stick with you, you know? Yeah, so I would say my funnel to put out to people. Maybe three weeks it'll be up and running. There's some few details I'm still working on, and it will be called the Wise Woman Academy. It's for wise women. We as women are wise, very wise, and especially those that have been through hell and back. But you have to be ready to work on it too. So that's why my straightforwardness the way I do things. I have empathy, I'm there for them, but I'm not going to play a game or whitewash it because I will do them a disservice. I was done that disservice for years, but nobody's fault. That's what they knew. And you won't find my program out there, not that, oh look at Judy.

Judy Larson: 26:53

My program isn't a program that a lot of people put out there. It's from my heart and soul the pain that I went through, the things that I had to do to get where I'm at today, and I'm going to give that to those women as long as they're committed to themselves.

Candace Patrice: 27:13

Thank you, judy. That tells you something about no, you, you know you. Um, I wanted to hear your full story because it gave so much. Um, you walked us through the shame, the guilt, hope, faith, our subconsciousness, um, realization of pain and what that looks like, and I generally I ask a lot of questions to get to that point, but you kind of gave it all out and I found something very interesting in what you were saying and one of those things about mental health being evidence-based.

Candace Patrice: 27:44

But realistically, we are evidence. We are our own evidence and our stories. It takes so long to get the things published and get it Okay. I have to show that other people are going through this, which means I have to find other people in the same situation, but I am my own evidence. I am showing you that I've been through the pain. I'm showing you how I've worked through it. I'm showing you what worked, and searching and seeking for the answers is something that is going to get you where you need to be. It's when you stop seeking that you stop growing. And hearing you talk about love, love being the greatest.

Candace Patrice: 28:22

I am more biblically based these days and one of those things is love and love being the greatest things of the being the greatest of all things, and so another thing that came to my mind was that you had trusted your parents, like in your mind, your you know your parents are right, they do everything, and so a very trustworthy person fed you some information that puts you in a space that wasn't great, and you couldn't trust anybody else because trust meant that trust meant pain. So you opened up to find that one person who said what is it that you need? I'll give you what you need and we'll unlock it together. And so your trust began to look different, because trust now didn't only parallel with your dad and disappointment. Now trust can parallel with something good, but trust within yourself and trust with knowing who to trust and what to listen to and what works for you. I had another question. I mean you had me going. I was writing stuff down the cigarettes. You started smoking cigarettes at what age Do you remember?

Judy Larson: 29:36

I started smoking cigarettes when I was in beauty school. I was 18 years old.

Candace Patrice: 29:42

You stopped smoking cigarettes when you were how old?

Judy Larson: 29:45

35. That's a long time.

Candace Patrice: 29:49

Back then, when did you go to two packs a day? Do you remember I?

Judy Larson: 29:52

suppose it just started increasing because you could smoke at work, you could smoke anywhere you wanted to go, okay, yeah. So I was a chain smoker, gotcha, as soon as I got out of bed, have a cigarette. Last thing I do before I went to bed have a cigarette. You know, smoke everywhere, and that's why it was such a shock to me. When it's gone, it's really gone.

Candace Patrice: 30:17

I was waiting for it to come back too and not have an inkling of something you've been doing for the past. What's this? Almost 20 years, exactly, of course, being biblically rooted. It's that lean. Not on your own understanding, because I mean, where did that come from? You have no explanation for that, except for something greater. The universe delivered something within you which is awesome, and I love how you take us on this journey, on how bad it is, because it's a bad story and I don't mean that in a bad way, but it is truly.

Candace Patrice: 31:08

People are going through things, people are hurting, People need to know that even the darkest parts can be healed. And you are literally like. We hear people say it oh, you'll get through it, just have faith, just believe it's okay. But realistically, when you're sitting in that space, you don't want to hear that, because it's not. It doesn't feel realistic. How can you tell me something is going to happen to me? I'm like if somebody would have told you, let's say, at 34, you won't be a chain smoker, you probably would have looked at them and laughed and you're just going to wake up one day and not want to. You're not going to have to do anything else. You probably would have been like you're crazy. Someone put them in a mental home because they're speaking crazy things. But you are again evidence of what is to come, what can happen, what faith looks like, what doing the work looks like.

Candace Patrice: 32:06

Like you said, you're only wanting to take on women who are actually ready to do the work, people who are on their alchemist journey, who want to find the greater good at the end of the day, their own purpose. What is the will that is set forth for them? Like, okay, things happen because you have to learn from them. This is a story, this is something you're going to teach someone else so that you can have a testimony, so that you can share with others that this space that we're in doesn't have to be let's get somewhere greater. And I feel like your program is something that will help women really get past that. And you talked about therapy, and therapy, to me, keeps you depending on the therapist, can keep your trauma at the forefront, whereas coaching or programs that are really here to help take that trauma and find the good in it. So what good came from that? What do you want your future to look like? What action steps will you start taking to be that person you want to be. Especially, action steps will you start taking to be that person you want to be, especially if you say you're ready to do the work.

Candace Patrice: 33:17

Well, it's going to take some work. It's not just showing up once a week for 45 minutes to an hour, talk about it and go back and do the same things, because you've gotten the same results that you've been getting when you've been doing those things. So do you want different results? Different results is going to take different work. Different work goes with changing your thought processes of what this work looks like, breaking down everything that has just been taught to you. That is universal. That is status quo.

Candace Patrice: 33:44

I'm sure the government got to where it is today because somebody always wanted a little bit more and they stopped leading with a little more love and they started leading with a little more desires for more, wanting for more to be on top, and then being lost in translation of self, but now not knowing who am I. What is good? Now you pass that down and our consciousness holds on to these things. Now you pass that down and our consciousness holds on to these things and now we don't know where we're getting it from. But if we are closest to our consciousnesses, if we're all one collective conscious but we're closest to next consciousness so that it continues to elevate and grow. I'm going to be quiet because I'm just talking and I'm going to keep going.

Judy Larson: 34:40

That's because you're excited about what you're doing.

Candace Patrice: 34:44

I'm excited about what you're doing.

Janet Hale: 34:47

That was the part because I was listening to you and I thought she's working from her heart, yes, from her head. Yep, and what people? And this is a thing, because you know we get degrees and blah blah. You know all kinds of things can happen and that's beautiful, I'm not knocking it. However, there's the policies and different things of that nature that can get in the way of some of our healing techniques. Techniques, whereas when you have your own program, who remembers the four-year-old? There are many others and they need someone who can tap into that four-year-old and help that four-year-old free themselves. And also, what I heard with you is that this will be a painful, you know, and one of the things I say in order to get through it, you got to go through it. So let's do it, let's. Are you ready? I'm curious about your measuring what, what, how are you going to measure whether or not they're ready.

Janet Hale: 35:48

Yes.

Judy Larson: 35:48

Okay, when I talk to them, you know if I start having the first conversation with them, whatever by the things they say to me. You know well this and maybe'm already wanted yeah you know they have to be ready.

Judy Larson: 36:03

And I asked him are you ready to go down into that pain in your heart that you've been holding back all this time? Because if you're not, I can't help you. You know, I'll also tell them because I do work from my heart, not my head and what it took to get there. I will know just by intuition whether you're ready or you're not.

Janet Hale: 36:26

And I'll just be honest with them, because maybe years back I couldn't pick that up.

Judy Larson: 36:31

I can now because of my own work. So it won't take me long to figure that out if they're just giving me a song and dance or they're really ready to do the work and I'll be able to pick up. Oh, maybe this one needs some uh womb healing, maybe not. Maybe they need over here because of all that I've done and now live in the heart.

Janet Hale: 36:52

I'll know yeah, and I also heard you talk about working with the native americans. I think it's so deep and so beautiful. Okay, oh, no, right. And so to be able to step outside of what we are used to or what we've grown up with, or however that goes, and to be able to look at different healing processes that have worked for generations that we often do not talk about. However, it sounds like you're courageous enough to say hey, I'm willing to look at this piece of it. I'm willing to look at how the Native Americans loved the land, respected the land, respected their people, respected they were allowed to try to make it look good or whatever.

Judy Larson: 37:49

And I will eventually do some other things ceremonies, that kind of things. I get it Because I've done some breath work for about a year that took me back with my ancestors and showing me some things and whatever. So that'll come. But first the people I'm going to work with have to work through this stuff first.

Janet Hale: 38:12

Yeah, but I like that you're even looking at it. Oh yeah definitely You're looking at it. It's like, okay, she's looking at different ways of doing things.

Judy Larson: 38:22

Something about the Native Americans since I was a kid has been in my heart, but now I know why.

Candace Patrice: 38:31

You answered a question for me and you don't know, because you didn't know it was a question. But one of those things that I ask myself, especially just finding my space spiritually, is will I lose the fire? Will the fire die? And it's?

Judy Larson: 38:49

a fire will grow.

Candace Patrice: 38:51

It's a it's I don't want to say it's a fear, but it's a thought that I don't want it to die. I want it to grow and being where I am and it's so fresh, like I'm a baby I'm probably like two or three years old and and I just I want it to stay feeling like this because the love is so abundant and I want to give it. I want to give the light, I want to share God's grace, like all of the things that has been giving, and I just want to be that vessel. But I don't want to fall into some of my old habits where something is great right now but then something else shiny comes along and right now it's consistently burning, you know. But and I heard you say that and it made me have it gave me a little more hope that the fire can continue to burn. That's what I wanted to say.

Judy Larson: 39:42

Your fire will continue to burn as long as you stay on the direction you are From your heart. Don't get caught up in what the world has to say, because that took me a while and it'll keep burning and burning, and burning, because you're already in your heart. Took me years to get there. You know you're not going to lose it. You're going to grow, woman. You're going to grow, and that fire will be flame. It's flame.

Janet Hale: 40:07

They better watch out, watch it, watch it. Yes, yes, watch it.

Candace Patrice: 40:12

As my goddaddy would say oh, that's so lovely.

Janet Hale: 40:18

Yeah, I think that's great. Oh, that's so lovely. Yeah, I think that's great. I'm glad to hear you stepping away from the traditional ways of things and finding your own path and understanding that we must get to the heart of things if we really want to make a difference, and that's what I hear you saying, and I just think that's the best practice, you know, because you know we have a little checklist. I asked you about the ACEs earlier. You're like the ACEs, ok, well, what I learned about the ACEs? Let me be careful with this. With the ACEs, it asks questions about your childhood. However, the first part of it is built. The questions are for white, middle-class, educated people. So then they went back and had to add five more to include poverty, prison, different things of that nature. So I had kind of moved away from the aces once I you know, because I know that I would say it in certain rooms and they were like we're not done and we're not no, because they're not talking to us.

Judy Larson: 41:30

Yep.

Janet Hale: 41:31

You know, and so I just think it's good when we find out that we can do better, that we do better.

Judy Larson: 41:39

That's right.

Janet Hale: 41:39

That part yeah.

Candace Patrice: 41:45

Nice way to say that For your program.

Judy Larson: 41:55

How do people sign up? Is there a cost or what is the cost? Do you take insurance? No, I don't take insurance and there is a cost and it's going to be in three sections. It's a whole year long program oh, a year. So I'm not taking too many at a time because I want to devote my time there. Some will want the whole year program, some will want three months, some will want six. The first three months is really getting them educated on a lot of things and the tools and the so forth and probably doing some womb healing with people with trauma. The second segment of it, the next six months, is the inner child work. And then the last is where have they come in their life? How do they see themselves different now? Where's their path? Where do they want to go? And they might need solar retrieval. So that's why it's in segments. And the first if they just want to take the first three months, that's $1,700. If they want to take just the six months program, that's $2,500. And if they want the year, that's $5,000.

Janet Hale: 43:03

When you talk about womb healing. Would you explain?

Judy Larson: 43:07

that to me. Sure, let's say. Well, like for me. I learned through my life. My mother never told me she loved me, never whatever. And in my work working on myself, I found out I wasn't a wanted baby, you know. So there's some trauma from my mom passed on into me. When I had my first child, I was scared to death. It was not a healthy pregnancy. I lived in fear every day of my life. Nobody taught me these things, those whatever. Then in a marriage, when you're carrying all that trauma the sexual life wasn't what normally most people would have you know, trauma's sitting there. Let's say, some women have been abused by their partner, or they've been abused by a parent or whatever, and there's also the piece of it. Maybe they have a hard time with their menstrual cycle. Those kind of things. That's the things you go back and heal that woman and that will change a woman's life just in that, especially younger women. It really, really makes a difference. I found that out by doing it myself. Yeah, thank you.

Janet Hale: 44:19

There's a lot of different aspects to it. Thank you for that.

Candace Patrice: 44:26

Judy, you're great, really really great. I mean, I really want to call you on the phone after at some point in the next week and just talk. Sure, okay, it's done, I'll call you Okay.

Janet Hale: 44:44

I can't go back at all, it's recorded.

Candace Patrice: 44:47

We're committed. Okay, I've got witnesses. Yes, I do have a question for you really fast. It sounds like the program is most for people who are beginning their work. What do you do, or do you have something or a start for people, I would like to say, like me, who's been working really hard, who has gotten through a lot of the beginning phases Well, I wouldn't say gotten through but has a better understanding of, maybe, where the program is intended to go and the work that's supposed to be done. Is this a place for someone like me, or would you need to be earlier on in the process of getting started?

Judy Larson: 45:34

You would have to ask yourself do you have a lot of unresolved trauma that's never been dealt with? You seem to be already living in your heart. Yeah, these women aren't living in their heart. They know something, but they've avoided it. They live in the mind. You're already on a good direction. Okay, you're headed in the right direction. Yeah, you don't need what I'm doing, unless you think in yourself you need some womb healing or some of that. You know what your life is like, but other than that, I'd say you're on the right direction.

Candace Patrice: 46:11

Thank you for that answer.

Judy Larson: 46:13

And if you ever just want to visit you and I have questions, I'll answer those questions for you Totally calling you.

Janet Hale: 46:20

Yeah, I'm calling you when you were. Candice asked the question about beginning of the journey, or you know, you've been in the journey for a minute. What's interesting to me about that is you could have been on the journey for quite some time, but not really. That's right.

Janet Hale: 46:37

You're like okay, well, you know, I've been through it. And then you get to you and it's like whoa, wait a minute, that's some new information. And so to answer, I guess, that question, because some folks feel like they've been there but have not touched it. Yeah, see, I thought I was there for years.

Judy Larson: 46:57

Okay, well, I'm spiritual. I go to church all the time. I read my Bible, I pray. I was addicted. You did that. You did that. My addiction was you better read the bible or god won't love you. I never missed a day, you know and it's all about the intent I wasn't doing it from the heart. Ritual dogma do do la la, you get there All the wrong places. So yeah, your mom's right, exactly.

Candace Patrice: 47:28

And I love that. The answer is ask yourself.

Judy Larson: 47:33

Look at Judy. She goes to church, she reads the Bible. What?

Janet Hale: 47:38

So, judy, listen, I'm going to say this. Everybody listens to. All the millions of people that listen to us Know that I'm a recovering alcoholic. I used to smoke a pack a day, two tracks a day. I've been in situations that were not good relationships.

Janet Hale: 47:55

I've been to therapy that I was like okay, looking at you cross-eyed because you're not on the right, something's not right and what I'm about to do is fire you. I need to move on and that's okay, Because somewhere in there I learned, and still learning, how to take care of the little Janet.

Judy Larson: 48:18

Yes, because the little.

Janet Hale: 48:19

Janet, she's little Janet runs rapid. She's little Janet, she's something else. So we have to, you know, calm little Janet down and say well, big Janet, can you take care of her, Can you take care of her? And so I had to learn the tools to do that.

Judy Larson: 48:36

Yeah.

Janet Hale: 48:37

You know, and so it's just all a process. It definitely is Open, open, open-minded about the different processes and the change in how we do things, because it used to be. I'm sure you're aware that the therapist was something wrong with you. I'm going to help fix you, okay, anyway, really I'm not broken, I'm gonna help fix you.

Judy Larson: 49:02

Okay, anyway, really You're not broken.

Janet Hale: 49:04

I'm like really, so that's what this is about. No, I need a partner to help me walk my walk, and so that has been part of the change as far as therapy, healing, coaching, whatever to get a partner in it Not I'm up here, you're down here, exactly, and so, and that is part of the process, and I think that your program is wonderful. Now will you be doing it over Zoom? Is it in person? It?

Judy Larson: 49:32

will be doing on. It'll be online. Great, All of it will be online.

Janet Hale: 49:36

So will it be individual? Will you have groups?

Judy Larson: 49:40

Once this gets up and running, I'm going to have some groups, yes, and the groups are going to be to help prepare women to be ready to do the work. You know, that's what the groups will be about.

Candace Patrice: 49:53

I like that.

Judy Larson: 49:54

And what comes down the road. I don't know yet. Right, I've got to get this going. But yeah, because I look back at some of the groups I was in and whatever, and it's like this did nothing for me. I know, right, You're wasting your time Judith. And I was like you know, no, this is going to be. I'll be touching their heart too. Just that part Creating a safe place, a nonjudgmental space.

Candace Patrice: 50:18

That part Creating a safe place, a non-judgmental space. Yeah that part A place where you can be.

Judy Larson: 50:24

And knowing that I'm not out to hurt them, I'm not out to judge them, because they don't need me, so I'm going to have to prove that to them too. Yeah, but All this law? Well, come try me out. If you don't like it, you can leave.

Janet Hale: 50:44

Yeah, but I also think that you have a certain air about yourself that is trusting, that is open, so it wouldn't be hard to figure out.

Judy Larson: 50:52

Okay, good, good, I'm glad you said that. I'm pretty real.

Janet Hale: 50:56

Yeah, because some people I look at I'd be like, oh really it's like you said, I am not on any level better than anybody else. Exactly. One of the things that I say and I say this a lot, but it's not mine, I don't know where I got it from, but anyway, people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.

Judy Larson: 51:17

I agree with you 100%. I tell that to my people that come new and to where I work right now and I'll tell them. You know what? I have a role of a therapist. Please, I'm no different than you. Don't put me on a pedestal. Don't think I know it all, because I don't. I'm just here to help you find you and feel good about yourself. So ask me anything. And they do, because they find out. Judy's not one of those kind, whatever.

Janet Hale: 51:51

Judy, would you agree that you're to help them, but also in helping them, you're helping you?

Judy Larson: 51:57

Oh, definitely, yeah, Definitely.

Candace Patrice: 52:10

I'll be growing for the rest of my life. Yeah, yes, next level and the next level Because we're always evolving, we're energy of the book of Ecclesiastes and how he went through just trying to find all the things, the wisdom, the knowledge and all the things, and in the end was just like just be a good person, because that's what it? Came down to. I've searched the highs, the lows, the wisdom. I did all the things for you guys and this is what it came down to.

Judy Larson: 52:36

Yeah, it's pretty simple. We don't have to make it complicated, and it's pretty simple.

Candace Patrice: 52:40

We don't have to make it complicated and we'll continue on that journey. The world makes it complicated. We'll get more wisdom and knowledge as we live this life. We'll try new things as things come about. We'll see what worked, what doesn't work, what made us feel bad, what made us feel good. We'll find out how we can give love and how we can forgive and how we can do all of the things. All of the things.

Janet Hale: 53:05

She mentioned the forgiveness and that one right there, cause sometimes I think people are too quick to say I forgive you, no, no, no.

Candace Patrice: 53:14

Sometimes this is a process but forgiveness is a heart posture.

Janet Hale: 53:18

It is but, but it's also sometimes something that takes some time absolutely and sometimes time to forgive myself that part that part and so for people to understand that part. Yeah, like you know, you take your time to for your healing, whatever that part. Yeah, like you know, take your time for your healing whatever that is for you.

Candace Patrice: 53:38

Also, I think forgiveness, the outcome of forgiveness, looks different. I think people have this vision of what it looks like once you forgive. Just because you've forgiven someone doesn't mean it looks like oh well, I forgave them and we're buddy-buddy again. I don't think it has to look like that. It's just does your heart forgive? If your heart forgives and you choose not to be in that same space, that's fine, but it just, it really is a heart posture. To me it is it is kidding.

Janet Hale: 54:07

I agree, and I love the fact that you said it doesn't always look the same, because you know my saying is I can forgive you and access is denied yeah, exactly you know like I'll forgive you. You forgiven, but what we're not gonna do is put me in the same position because you already showed me.

Janet Hale: 54:27

So what we know, we're just gonna move on for me down the street. I'm like I forgave, forgave everybody, you all good, I'm good, you're good, everybody's good, and it looks different for different people. Like Candice said, forgiveness does not look the same for everybody.

Judy Larson: 54:47

No.

Candace Patrice: 54:50

I think we really touched on a lot of things, a lot of I don't know. I feel like we did a whole season somehow in here on working through things, getting through them, how to get to the others. I might want to put this episode as the theme of essential mental healing, like this is what it's about.

Janet Hale: 55:15

Preview Also. Yeah, I thought about something just now. I saw it because christmas just happened yes and for some, and the new year and the and the new year by the time.

Candace Patrice: 55:27

It's okay, it will okay so the new year, and so so one of 2020 five thank you.

Janet Hale: 55:35

Okay, I'm sorry to say this because Judith talked about the act. We got to act a certain way and everybody needs to do. You know, I left that party a long time ago. I'm not invited or feel wanted, I'm not going, and so for others to understand that, that is really okay, yep, you can pick your village.

Judy Larson: 55:59

For sure you don't have to live like a puppet. You can't fit in no. And when you mentioned earlier yeah. When you mentioned earlier.

Janet Hale: 56:10

Yeah, and you said you talked about how you didn't never feel like you fit in. And that was me Never, never, never. I mean when I tell you never, but oh, but I was smiling and hey, everybody, yeah, it looks good. That's how you do it. Everybody's fine, never feeling like I fit in, but too afraid to say it because she might hurt too many people. I'm sorry, I'll be like I'm different.

Candace Patrice: 56:38

Yeah, I'm different, I love it.

Janet Hale: 56:40

Yes, I love it. We know you do. We know you do. But just that whole thing. And I was watching Netflix. It has a thing called Anne with an E. It's about a little girl. It's a series. I just found it. We read here she, she went to orphanage and she was told she was ugly. She was just treated all kind of just bad and she ended up with this family that loved her with her red hair and her freckles, oh my god.

Janet Hale: 57:12

And you could just see the transformation taking place, just kind of how like what we're talking about, because love is the answer, because once we've been loved, Love is all there is. Period Period it's been a long time.

Judy Larson: 57:25

Yes, love is love.

Janet Hale: 57:28

Love is love. Yes, Judith.

Candace Patrice: 57:30

And what age were you when you got that, when you figured that out, or how many years ago?

Janet Hale: 57:34

You asked Judith or me.

Judy Larson: 57:35

Judy when you got that, when you figured that out, or how many years ago. You asked Judith, or me, judy, for me with the love. Yeah, once, not that long ago, I thought I knew what love the world was. Yeah, yeah, yeah it's. When I had that surrender and God connected with me, I knew what true love was.

Janet Hale: 57:52

The love of the life of the Lord.

Judy Larson: 57:55

I didn't have to do nothing.

Janet Hale: 57:56

It was there all the time inside of me but buried so deep under all the of my life it's so good to be on the other side of it and moving towards the light and understanding that we had to go through some pain, Judith and I, to see some things and be willing to go through the process to continue on with it.

Candace Patrice: 58:20

Let me say this, though as my mother and my previous consciousness that the work that you have done, the work that you too have been doing, resonates with me, to be able to do something different. So my story is going to sound different, not that I didn't go through things, but it's it's, it's just progressing, it's a part of the. You know. You just say I believe the children are our future. That's me, and so I'm. I got a little moment, but it's true, and Kamari will do the same thing as she continues to learn, and we are changing the world.

Candace Patrice: 59:09

Her third grade teacher which is her favorite teacher gave them a book and said you guys are world changers. And I can't stop saying that to her whenever something I'm like Kamari, you're different, you're special, you're a world changer in whatever way that looks like. You know no pressure to go out here and change the world, but it's in you, it just is. So I'll keep telling you as you figure out this thing called life.

Janet Hale: 59:36

So I'm going to say this real quick One of the things I talked to Ken is because she went to Howard University and did her thing and then she came here and got her master's and all these things. And I remember looking at her and I'm watching her make accomplishments out there and I have a conversation with her and say I'm proud of those things. But the most that I'm proud of those things, but the most that I'm proud of, is who you are. Who you are, and that for me, is the key. That's the key. You can get the degrees, you can get all those things. What's important to me is who you are, that you know how to love, that you know how to forgive, that you know how to have hard conversations.

Candace Patrice: 1:00:24

She will. I'll be like, I don't feel like it.

Janet Hale: 1:00:27

Well, mom, I need to talk. Okay, I don't know how to have conversations, but guess what it's needed. It's needed, it's needed, and so for me, that is my, the gift from the universe.

Judy Larson: 1:00:48

It's her and my granddaughter and many other people, many other people, but I'm speaking of her and my granddaughter right now.

Candace Patrice: 1:00:58

Those are my daughters and I continue to feed Kamari, that same language of her being enough just the way she is, that she doesn't have to do anything to please me, she doesn't have to be in competition with me. I just want to see her be her and be the best unique her that she can be, and I feed her that love that has taken so many people to find, and so I want her to know it now. She doesn't have to look for it. She may have to look for some other things, because I don't have it all, but one thing that I can feed her is love every single day, and if you or someone you know is struggling.

Candace Patrice: 1:01:45

You can call 988 or text 988, which is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 24 hours, seven days a week, and then just look into the resources. I say this all the time, like, judy is an amazing resource. The guests that we have on here are resources. They care about the people and that is important to our platform. That is important. I really feel bad for everyone who doesn't hear the podcast, like, who doesn't get this wisdom and this knowledge? It's like the books of the Bible. There's so much knowledge in here, instruction, and people are coming from their experiences in life and giving that to people to be able to say you too are love, you too are light, you are not whatever has happened to you, and you can take some action steps to make your life as fulfilling as you've ever matter of fact, more than you've ever imagined.

Candace Patrice: 1:02:57

Don't lean on what you think is the best. Allow life to take you on this journey. Enjoy everything that comes along the way. When the trees turn green, take them in. When the trees turn colors, take them in. When the snow falls, take it in. When the sun shines, take it in. When the rain falls, take it in.

Candace Patrice: 1:03:18

When you share a shoulder bump with a neighbor, take it in. Know that your energies have crossed paths, and what can you give to their energy? What good can you send back Opposed to oh, we bumped, and now you have an attitude oh, excuse me. We were at the Lions game and every time we bumped somebody, we had just won. Every time we bumped somebody, we go Lions, everybody go Lions. It was this love language that just continued. There was no anger. Everybody was just oh, it's okay, we're all here trying to maneuver and get through, but it's just sharing that love.

Candace Patrice: 1:03:50

So I, as the host of this podcast, I'm definitely asking you to take each moment in life and see what good you can find in it. You never know where you're going to be a year from today, but know that you won't be in this same space. You can choose how you want to get to where you're going, you can get to it an easier way. You can get to it light, you can get to it heavy. There's many ways and avenues to get to where you'll be next year, but try to choose the best avenue. Did you guys have any last words? That's my last words.

Judy Larson: 1:04:24

No, this has been great. Thank you so much, yeah me too.

Janet Hale: 1:04:27

I'm like Jesus, come back. I got a pistol already. I know I told you I'm a hot caller.

Candace Patrice: 1:04:38

This has been great. Let's give those social medias anybody who has anything that they want to give. One last time, judy, your Instagram or website or anything that you have, let's give that.

Judy Larson: 1:04:48

Right now it's my Instagram at Judy J-U-D-I 34. You'll find me there.

Candace Patrice: 1:04:57

Is it Judy Larson 34 or Judy 34?

Judy Larson: 1:05:00

Judy Larson 34. And take them to my book If they don't believe me. It's as real as it gets. Where can you get the book? It's on Amazon. From Self-Hate to Self-Love.

Janet Hale: 1:05:10

I like that.

Candace Patrice: 1:05:12

And is the author Judy Larson, or Judith Larson, for the book Judith.

Judy Larson: 1:05:17

All right, I mean, that's as real as we're going to get it. That's how I put it out there.

Candace Patrice: 1:05:22

Perfect.

Janet Hale: 1:05:26

HaleEmpowermentcom. Haleempowermentllccom. That is me. I work with women. I am someone who talk about lived experiences. I have gone to college. I've gotten several few degrees. However, my education came from my community. So when I'm teaching, that's what I'm teaching. So when I'm talking, that's what I'm talking about. So to be able to have my own space, that's what we're talking about. You can find me on Google and just look me up.

Candace Patrice: 1:06:02

Then, of course, you guys know you can find me at essentialmotivationcom. You can send an email, candicefleming at essentialmotivationcom. You can also send a text. We have the text message up on the podcast where, if you have anything you want to say about the episodes, any future topics that you want to hear, anything that you think we could be doing better, I'm open to it all. If there's anything that you have to say about the podcast, about us, please go ahead and send that in via text message or email and I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you all for being listeners, thank you for making the podcast continue to go. Thank you, judy, for being our guest, thank you, mom, for being the co-host and always remember to love hard, forgive often and laugh frequently.

Judy Larson: 1:06:54

Bye, very good Very good.