Essential Mental Healing
Essential Mental Healing
Unlocking the Secrets of a Curious Mind "The Mind FCK" Way With Amazing Soul
It's Therapy Thursday!!
Amazing Soul's journey of healing will inspire anyone feeling trapped by their own pain. After two decades of crippling lower back pain, she discovered a transformative path of introspection that changed everything. By embracing her pain as a teacher, she uncovered her purpose through a deep understanding of personal patterns and limiting beliefs. Her story is a testament to the power of inner work, as illustrated by the poignant lyrics of Michael Jackson's "Man in the Mirror," urging us all to start with the person we see every day.
Throughout our conversation, we explore how simplicity, fun, compassion, and kindness can transform lives when approached with a childlike mindset. Imagine breaking free from the chains of resistance by making small, playful changes in daily routines that disrupt ingrained thought patterns. Amazing Soul discusses the incredible concept of neuroplasticity, which shows us that our brains can change and evolve when approached with compassion and understanding. We share anecdotes that highlight the importance of revisiting early belief systems to foster genuine transformation, always emphasizing the need for empathy and self-compassion in this journey of self-discovery.
The heart of our episode is the celebration of childlike qualities and the power of curiosity over judgment. With profound stories and metaphors, we encourage listeners to "Feel Everything And Relax," confronting fears with ease and nurturing the playful spirit within. The joy and innocence of embracing one's inner child are coupled with the wisdom needed to navigate adulthood's challenges. Together, we create a vision of a universe where self-change ripples outward, creating a world filled with love and light. Join us as we embark on this journey of empowerment, acceptance, and growth, forging paths to self-discovery and healing with open hearts.
Amazing Soul,
Amazing Soul is a mindset transformation guide, author, and founder of The Mind FCK Co, a movement dedicated to helping women leaders unlock their potential through fun, compassion, and kindness.
After overcoming years of physical and emotional challenges, Amazing Soul now empowers women leaders to embrace self-acceptance, reframe their inner narrative, and cultivate a life filled with purpose and joy.
Through storytelling and authentic connection, they inspire audiences to explore the human experience with curiosity, courage, and love.
Founder,
The Mind FCK Co.,
FCK (Fun••Compassion••Kindness)
LinkedIn:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/wonu-alese
Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/theamazingsoulmentor
Tiktok:
Host Candace Fleming
Co-host Janet Hale
visit the website at https://www.essentialmotivation.com/
visit the store at https://shopessentialmotivation.com/
Instagram instagram.com/essentialmotivationllc
To be a guest on our show email me at candacefleming@essentialmotivation.com
In the subject line put EMH Guest
Suicide Prevention Lifeline 988
Music by Lukrembo: https://soundcloud.com/lukrembo
Provided by Knowledge Base: https://bit.ly/2BdvqzN
Hello and welcome back to another episode of Essential Mental Healing. A little AMS, asmr, crap. I'm just not getting things right today. I really wanted to try that. Okay, this is where we are Set your intentions for today. Okay, that was me trying to do the sound effects. My daughter has me doing that, but of course, joining me today is my lovely co-host, jonatalia. How are you doing I?
Janet Hale:am doing great, Candice. Hello, hello, hello.
Candace Patrice:Wonderful, wonderful, and we have an amazing guest today. You're going to see what I did there Amazing, amazing soul. I'm just saying, hi, beautiful, hi. Thank you guys so much for having me. Yes, how are you today? It's a beautiful day to be alive, thank you.
Candace Patrice:You know that statement is one I repeated on Thursday, and I repeated it because I was at the Lions game and the Lions won and I was like wow, what a time to be alive. But and I was sharing the sentiment with people behind me Like the Lions, I don't think has won a thanksgiving game since either 16 or 18, somewhere around then.
Candace Patrice:So we were really excited and I think we're like 11 and 1 now and that's a real thing for us. Like my father passed in 21, but I guarantee you he was probably revived a couple times this year with the lions. So sitting sitting next to me and that was you know. We've been exploring this Lions game together, this journey of excellence, but amazing. First of all, I love your name, Amazing Soul. That is so beautiful.
Janet Hale:I was just going to say can you say her name.
Candace Patrice:I was going to play on words.
Janet Hale:Y'all got me on. I'm supposed to be on words. Y'all got me on. I'm supposed to be part of the whole thing Because I'm like looking around.
Candace Patrice:I'm like wait a minute Beautiful name. Would, you tell us a little bit about yourself. Introduce yourself and tell us about your name. Is that your given name? Is that your chosen name? Like amazing soul, tell us about you.
Amazing Soul:Thank you First of all. Thank you guys so much for having me. That's a beautiful question. So a little bit about me. My birth name is Wanu. The full thing is Omo Wonu Ola, meaning a child born into wealth.
Amazing Soul:Um, I was born and raised in Nigeria, but Amazing Soul was a chosen name. It was a. It was a name that came through to me once I was forced to go within myself. It was a name that came through once I experienced 20 years of excruciating lower back pain. It was a name that came through to me once I started to realize that this pain served as my purpose. It was a name given to me when I started to realize that pain was my teacher. It was a name given to me when I started to realize that all the answers that we seek in life once we can start to go within ourselves and I started to embody that and it's something that, once I started to realize my why, the how, just started to show itself. I didn't have to try, so I go by Wonu or Amazing Soul. I'm not very attached to names or concepts, but you know this journey of my life was. I neglected my pain for a very, very long time. I chased success outside of me. I chased freedom outside of me.
Amazing Soul:I chased wealth or money outside of me, but I was missing something. I was missing going within myself, until pain, pain, pain, pain, and I'm thinking this pain in this moment forced me to my knees and made me look into the mirror, to drop the blame game, to drop the victim mindset. I realized that this pain, once I can start to give it space, that was the key to transforming my life. And here I am today sharing with people, especially women leaders, that whatever you're seeking in life, whether it's wealth, freedom, happiness, it's not outside of you and no matter what you do, no matter what zeros you have in your bank account or what relationships you have, it's never going to fill that void until you start to embrace your feelings and emotion but, most importantly, start to become aware of your patterns. We all have patterns, limiting beliefs, stories you've told yourself. But once you can start to slow down and really pay attention to how you feel the patterns repeating itself in your life, that's when the transformation will start.
Candace Patrice:But yeah, that's essentially what led me here, at pain um, when you said that the starting with you, I was in the car the other day and I was listening to Michael Jackson's man in the mirror and, yes, I've heard the words before. I've sang the song before, but it hit a little different because now, like you said, I'm looking within for the answers. And so, for anyone who doesn't know the song, the verse is I'm starting with the man in the mirror, I'm asking him to change his ways, and no message could have been any clearer. If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make a change. And I don't know why it hits.
Candace Patrice:I almost wanted to cry listening to that song recently, like, wow, what a difference the world could be if we all looked within ourselves and started the change there. We don't have to, like we say we can only control what's within our powers. We can't control other people and what they do. But everybody, if everybody just said I'm gonna make a change and we all showed up that way, oh my, it got so big in my head, and so the electricity was so great because I could really imagine. It's almost like I had transformed myself to a different universe, a universe of love and light, where everyone had did the work themselves and showed up starting with the man in the mirror.
Candace Patrice:It was really deep for me. It was really I don't know what planet or universe I was in, but it was nice. I was there for all of like three minutes and it was so nice. So thank you for that, thank you for acknowledging how the pain helped you go within we talk about. Our podcast is really on healing those pains, whether they're physical pains, emotional pain, mental pain, and each person finds a way to do things in the path that's for them and it may not look the way that someone else's looks.
Candace Patrice:Even as a coach and I recently was sharing with someone you know just different biblical principles and some of my story, but at the end of the day I tell them you know you have to get those answers for yourself. If you're rooted in the Bible and that's where you go then go read it and see how it manifests in your life. I was reading it and I read somewhere that, well, I read in the Bible that Jesus was manifested to do a lot of things. And I heard that word manifest and I was like, wait a minute. This word has come up so much right now and if Jesus was manifested to do certain things, then of course we have the power to manifest different things into our lives. We just really have to believe it. Faith of a mustard seed moving mountains, it's all interconnected in our minds. It's there and, oh my goodness, I know that that's something that you work with people as well. Can you tell us a little bit about your mindset journey, how that plays into where you are today and how you help?
Amazing Soul:others along that way. So the mindset journey so god became man, so that man can become god? Um, so I know you talked about jesus early on. I will answer that question, but you talked about jesus earlier. Jesus came to earth, you know, to show us what it really to have embody that christ consciousness. So it showed us like possible for you to mirror who jesus really was. So hence the reason why I said you know man jesus came to. Came to earth to show you that you can be God and in reverse. So my mindset journey and how I help others.
Amazing Soul:I'm very big on simplicity, so I break it down to three simple things fun, compassion and kindness. You see, most of us take life so goddamn seriously and I think that's the core of what I teach people or guide people back to themselves. You have to start to approach life in a childlike manner. You know just the five-year-old version of yourself. If that five-year-old version of yourself fail, it's not thinking like, oh, you know people are going to judge me. It's just like, oh, I fail, you know I'm having fun with it. And just opening your heart to that childlike version of yourself is so powerful Because at that point in your life there was no resistance. You were just living life in the moment. But over time, you let go of that present moment, which that's where all the answers are.
Amazing Soul:So how I start to approach my mindset is because most of us want to let go of limiting beliefs. But the challenge is because of the way our brains are structured. It's wired for complexity. If you approach your brains to transform your brain or your mind, and you're approaching it in a very serious manner, you're going to create more resistance. So this is where how I approach it Start to approach your brain in a very fun way. So I will share this. Right, I don't know if you know this, but you have about 70 to 80,000 thoughts every day that run through your mind. Yeah, an average of 70 to 80,000 thoughts. I'm definitely up there with 110, 120,.
Candace Patrice:You know.
Amazing Soul:If you people were like you know, I want to change my life, I want to transform my life, but it's not happening. The reason why is because of the stories that have been hardwired into your subconscious mind. So if you want to change your life and you have the same thoughts, there is no way on earth that your life is going to transform. Because here is how your mind works your thoughts create your belief system and your belief system create your reality. If you don't like your reality or what you're seeing, go back to the stories. Go back to your thoughts. So how do you interrupt your brain with those thoughts that are already hardwired? It's simple, fun. There's something called neuroplasticity. Now for you to break out of it. You cannot approach your brain like, oh, I want to stop smoking today. Um, no, you've been smoking for seven, eight years.
Candace Patrice:There's no way you're just going to drop smoking.
Amazing Soul:So you have to start small. So this is what I teach people Start to break the pattern. How do you break the pattern when you have the kids yourself, your business? It's okay, baby steps. If you brush your teeth with your right hand, brush your teeth with your left hand it was you.
Candace Patrice:You're the one who told me to do something different. I've literally been doing, I've been taking different routes, or I? I usually open my office from the right, in a circle around, and one day I was like I was talking to someone and they told me to do things a little different and I went the opposite way. It was so strange. I was like this is wrong.
Candace Patrice:But I was like it's not wrong, it's different and you have to rewind literally since we had that talk, I have literally started making little small things. I'm like just do it a little different, because when you're not doing it different, now you've created this pattern that's consistent and you're always going to get the same results because you're doing the same things. So I've been changing small things. Oh, my goodness, it was you.
Amazing Soul:You're the teacher.
Candace Patrice:You're the teacher. You're the teacher, you're the teacher. Yes, I'm sorry. Okay, I couldn't hold that in.
Amazing Soul:Yeah, oh my God, I've been trying to find out who told me this.
Candace Patrice:I'm like I want to tell them I did it. I'm doing it.
Amazing Soul:I'm proud of you, thank you, yeah, but it's so, so powerful, wow. Once you can start to interrupt those stories, your brain has to bring in something new into your reality, because your brain is wired to keep you safe, not happy. It has to do everything to keep you safe. And the more you interrupt those stories, it has to bring something else. Once you can start to realize how powerful your mind is, you will start to pay more attention to the stories. And once you interrupt, now let me tell you how your brain works. Your brain, once you ask it why do I think? Money is a limited resource. It has to bring you an answer. Where did I get that story from Half the time? I don't know if you know this, but your subconscious belief system is formed from zero to seven. Yes, but your subconscious belief system is formed from zero to seven. Yes.
Amazing Soul:If you see something traumatic that happens to you at that age and you doesn't get addressed, you will keep repeating the same pattern over and over into your adulthood, until you go back to your childhood. What did I see mommy and daddy do? What did I see on tv at that age? And start to interrupt that story. That's how you break out of that limiting money, belief system, relationships, yourself. That's where the transformation truly starts. But you have to have fun with it. That's when that whole baby steps interrupts and the pattern comes into play. So fun addressing yourself with compassion and kindness, this healing journey. You have to be kind, you have to be compassionate because guess what? You don't know what you don't know. You don't know what you don't know, and it's okay. It's okay, we're all figuring this whole life thing together and once you can start to be compassionate and kind to yourself and have fun while you're doing it, transformation has no choice than to start to appear in your life. But yeah, fun, compassion, kindness and interrupting your stories in your brain. It's so simple, very simple.
Candace Patrice:You know you're, you're really, you're putting me on fire, you're putting her on fire and she's mad that I'm talking. You gotta jump in there. Look, you gotta jump in there. She hit a period. I was like, oh, opportunity, double dutch, double dutch. I see so much is happening, but go ahead, because I know you haven't had an opportunity.
Janet Hale:Well, because, thank you, thank you very much, candice, when you were speaking about how pain is your gift, because I think that's what you said and I know, prior to us getting on here, the word pain came up, and I know, prior to us getting on here, the word pain came up and how powerful pain can be and is in our change. But let's not be afraid of it, because sometimes that pain will show up and folks go to running Whoa, I got to get out of here Opposed to sitting in it, yes, and understanding it and that childlike thing. I don't think I ever let that part go even though.
Janet Hale:Whatever I mean, because I believe in that, I'm the hippie of the hippies of the hippies, and that's part of it. It's free thinking, also being childlike. I love being childlike. There's something about that that just turns me on spiritually, although I'm not religious, but that's all in that story If you listen to any of these other podcasts.
Candace Patrice:Real quick, real quick, real. But real quick, real quick, real, real quick, in 30 seconds, real quick or less. Can you explain what that term means, because I don't think a lot of people they hear you say it and it's not really understood. What I'm not religious means you said 30.
Janet Hale:Oh, that's why you were saying 30 seconds, 30, 30, 30, 30 seconds. Okay. What that means simply is that I do not subscribe to organized religion. That's simply what it means. Period Does it mean that I do not believe in God or higher power Because people say Allah, whatever, that's fine, hey, do your thing. But I respect those things. I respect other people's belief systems. I respect how they get to where they need to get. However, I don't believe in the way OK, she's telling me 33 seconds. Oh, I don't believe in the Wait. Okay, she's telling me 33 seconds. Okay, oh, I have 30 seconds.
Candace Patrice:You didn't see the whole timer going on. The Did I get it out, did you get?
Janet Hale:it.
Candace Patrice:Yeah, I think we got it.
Candace Patrice:I think it's important that we actually recap that at least once or twice a season, because there are people who jump in and it can be misconstrued when you say that it can come across as atheist sometimes. So I think it's important to just acknowledge what that is sometimes and everybody may not get it or hear it in the episode, but I I know what it is and I know that it can come across different, so I just wanted to have it on the podcast. There we go, thank you, okay, in quote, go ahead, finish what you were saying there me or.
Candace Patrice:I interrupted you on the I'm not okay, yes, okay.
Janet Hale:And staying in my childlike moment and allowing the little Janet to be allowed to play and have fun. Because she's allowed, because, guess what, I can protect her now Because I have the tools to do it. Like, little Janet, step out, do it, okay, and then big Janet when it's time for Big Janet, I got you. Because, see, I know one thing about Little Janet, though Sometimes I have to, you know, kind of help her out, because sometimes she be out there and I'll be like, look, baby, I got you. But we can't do that In this moment. We just need to chill a little bit.
Janet Hale:So I love that that you talk about the having fun as we go along, as we go through this journey, and one of the things that I talk about I live on this earth to live, not to die while I'm walking, to live, not to die while I'm walking. And I don't know if that resonates with others out there, the millions of people that are listening. But there definitely is a difference and I'm not going to go into all that, but that you know you're speaking to the child within that. Most folks don't even realize that that person or that child is speaking and you're hushing him or her up. Allow her or him to come up and out, whatever that is, because sometimes that's a source of your pain. Listen to her, because she's there to say, look, look, hold on Because, see, there's some stuff here we haven't dealt with and I need to deal with it. So I need you to mature enough to take care of me. So let's do this. You know, I want to take a moment to honor my parents really fast. Let's do this.
Candace Patrice:You know I want to take a moment to honor my parents really fast, because when I was a kid, my dad was the example of childlike To the point. I mean like he loved lights. Lights was so big Christmas lights, lights on t-shirts, lights and shoes, lights on like just lights, and I used to be like daddy like. But it was this childlike innocence that went with the lights. It was also this non caring what other people thought it was. I like lights, I'm going to wear lights and I'm going to look at lights. I'm a chase lights Cause it's almost like a puppy chasing the car, like so. And I remember reading that part in the Bible when it talked about that and I immediately went to my father and I immediately went it's OK to have that childlike. Now, my mom as a child didn't have the opportunity to show her childlike because there were other things that needed to be done, things needed to move, so she didn't have the luxury of doing that at that time.
Candace Patrice:But now my dad is gone, my mom doesn't have to hold so much weight, not because my dad is gone but she doesn't have to carry so much weight and now her child like qualities get to come out and sometimes she'd be real. I mean, oops, um, we, um. Yeah, my dad had lights on his hat, like there were just lights. Okay, I went and cleaned out his storage after he passed and and a friend of mine literally took out out the storage light bulbs there were just lights. There were lights for the bike. She was like what are some good lights? Why are there so many lights? But now I find myself wanting to kind of illuminate the space. And there was just many lights. My dad just. I just wanted to acknowledge that for the childlike. So thank you for continuing to show up childlike as an adult mom and I know that comes across weird, but know that I mean it from the greatest place.
Candace Patrice:And I'm grateful that I have my father, who was able to do that as well, for me to bring that as a full, complete person and continue to grow and continue to learn. So in this moment, I honor you.
Janet Hale:Thank you. Now. Where do we go right? Where do?
Candace Patrice:we go from here.
Janet Hale:I know I have a lot of stuff. Okay, let's do it.
Amazing Soul:I wanted to add something to what you said. First of all, it's so beautiful to see that you're truly embracing your childlike version, and so it's very. It really warmed my heart the way you're expressing. I could feel her through you, so thank you. So fear does not prevent death, fear prevents life itself. So, for anyone listening, I would love to shift your perspective on fear. There's this acronym that really helped me on my journey. If you want to write it down, if you're listening, fear means feel everything and relax. Yes, feel everything.
Janet Hale:Oh, I read it, I read it feel everything.
Amazing Soul:Oh, I read it. I read it the more you feel into that and lean into it and relax and consciously tell your mind to relax into those emotions. That's how you transcend that fear. It's so stupid, simple, but it works, because now the perception of fear is not so this scary thing anymore. It's like feel everything and relax into it. But yeah, I just thought I'd add that to the conversation on fear.
Candace Patrice:No continue.
Janet Hale:Thank you, but you reminded me of something with Candace. Now she just was born. Beyonce said I woke up like this, she was born like this. Oh, thanks to say I woke up like this, he was born like this. But they had made me forget what I oh, one of the things she was very young. One day she was like Mom. You know why I don't lie. I promise you this is going to sound weird, but it's true. These stories are true stories, everybody. And so I said why you don't lie? I said okay, you know, I'm listening. She said because if I tell the truth, what's it going to do to me? Kill me or something? Why you don't kill me for telling the truth. So that's why I don't lie. I said now, this is a child talking to her mom.
Candace Patrice:Who was not perfect and did tell a lie here and there me, I'm sure, here and there yeah, but you're.
Janet Hale:Yeah, I get that, but I also got the other part, which was you were not walking around fearful of all kind of things. You know that sometimes, you know you may fumble the ball if you will, but I'm not afraid to say mama. And you wasn't either, just so you know, because you would come talk to me and have real authentic, honest conversations and sometimes hard conversations, and we both lived through them and we came out in love. So that's something that young lady said when she was a kid to her mother I want to and I'll never forget it.
Janet Hale:I want to give the person actually I learned from it, but she wants to talk I know I want to give the perspective on this.
Candace Patrice:We talk, talk about mindset development, but if there are any parents listening, it's creating that safety at home.
Candace Patrice:Because, in order for me not to have fear out in the world, I had to know that it was safe at home that, no matter what, they came back and said that I would still have that safety at home between my mother and me. I wasn't the one going don't call my mama. I was like call my mama, call my daddy, y'all they can't call me. You gonna see you wrong because I'm telling my mama okay, all right, now she's going somewhere.
Janet Hale:I'm so sorry, anyway, um and she's saying that in a way that could be perceived a little different. When we did show up, we showed up with kindness, yes, with understanding, with open ears.
Candace Patrice:However, we stood there having her back which did not come without consequence at times when needed. Sometimes, however, however, we need it right, we need it.
Janet Hale:However, when we showed up, we showed up for her. Yes, there's a difference Than just showing up, but we showed up for her and yes, she's correct. Maybe every now and then there was a little consequence you know later, but in front we are her support system. But she said something. I don't know if she remembered this, but something happened up at the school when she was in high school, and you know, we asked her. You know, did this happen? Because we believed her? And she said no, I didn't do it, and that's all it took for us.
Janet Hale:We were just like okay, so her dad, he's the one who had the more flexibility, we'll put it that way, because I was working and doing all those things, however, and he was too, but he had flexibility. So he ended up at the school and Candace was in they were all together, whatever and the person was saying Candace had did a particular thing I don't remember what it was and Candace's dad said well, no, she said she didn't do it. I don't know, candace, do you remember this? Yes, oh, she's doing something, and so, do you remember this? I didn't realize I was on mute.
Candace Patrice:I was saying I remember it because you've told it, so I don't remember it happening, but I retell the story.
Janet Hale:Oh, okay, okay, Then I will retell it. And so, and her dad said it real nice and he was a real kid, like kind of a man. Okay, a joke every five minutes. We keep saying in heaven, he's still. You know, they're like please, sir, but the guy ended up having to call her dad, or not having to, but he chose to call her father to apologize. So when we're showing up, yeah. So, uh, you know, and then to know the person or the Candace.
Amazing Soul:Yes.
Janet Hale:To believe in her because she's come to us, yeah, and it taught us how to trust her.
Amazing Soul:Yes, yes.
Janet Hale:By being upfront and honest, you know so. Thank you for that. Yeah, okay, now Amazing.
Candace Patrice:So should I call you amazing, or do I have to say amazing soul, or do I say Miss Soul? Like, how do I say this?
Amazing Soul:Amazing soul works, Frank Okay.
Janet Hale:Thank you Amazing soul.
Candace Patrice:You have a business You're the founder of am I saying this right? The mindfuck company yep, she played.
Janet Hale:Oh, I saw what you did she played with that that is so cool.
Amazing Soul:Thank you, Candace, it's the mindfuck co, the mindfuck company. Fuck stands for fun, compassion and kindness. Yes.
Candace Patrice:And those are the two that you told us about earlier. So you transform minds, you do workshops or coaching. Tell us a little bit about how you got into this and how you help shape different leaders, different women's minds, to make them their better selves. Great question.
Amazing Soul:Candace. So, like I said, you know it's, I approach it stupid simple. So let's just say I have a client who you know wants to work with me. It's 90 days, but I have like a pattern that I do. So the first 30 days is let's identify your patterns. How does your brain think? Half the time you don't feel safe in your body. So we have to create patterns for you to start to feel safe in your body. And that's where the neuroplasticity comes into play. So we start to identify what works for you on how your patterns come into play.
Amazing Soul:Now, once we do that approaching with fun, of course now that you start to feel some semblance of safety in your body, because success to me is a regulated nervous system. If you don't have a regulated nervous system, you're just going to keep reacting to life. So once we have that semblance of a regulated nervous system, now we can go back to that child that's always been speaking to you See, inner child, the childlike version of yourself, is crucial. It's so crucial to everything you seek in life. I don't care what it is. If you do not give space for that inner child, you will keep running in circles. But the first thing we got to do create a safe space so that inner child can come into that space and you can start to merge your brain patterns with that inner child. Now, once we can start to do that, the last part of my program, which is the last 30 days, is you will start to identify the answers within.
Amazing Soul:Why do you think the way you think? What stories are you telling yourself? Why do you think it's not possible to have a multi-billion dollar business? What's limiting you? If you aim for the moon, you land on the stars. Why do you have the same relationships in different bodies? There's a pattern. But once we can start to identify those patterns, towards the end of the 90 days, you will start to answer those questions yourself, because now you've tapped into that childlike version of yourself that there was no resistance, there was no story, there was no limiting beliefs and those answers were already there. So I try to call it stupid, simple transformation, guiding you back to yourself. I'm not telling you what to do, I'm just there leaning you back to what you already know. And obviously the premise of this is fun, compassion, kindness, so but yeah, that's essentially what it is no fluff, just plain fun and kindness.
Candace Patrice:So after the 30 days. Do people continue to see you or is it over after 30 days? Would you? Do you still continue like one-on-ones after that? What does that look like after the 30 day, after the 90 days?
Amazing Soul:90 days, 90 days, 90 days, um, at that point you know if I'm being, my approach is very it's not um, what's the word? It's not very traditional. Um, I say I kick you the F out. I mean it when I say even before the end of that 90 days, you will start to realize what I'm telling you. It's not. I really help you cut through the fluff. You will start to realize that I didn't even mean amazing souls to start with. But hey, so I don't, I don't like that enabling culture, like, oh, you come back to me, I really don't. It's not really how I roll, because I genuinely believe that you have all the answers. I'm just guiding you back to yourself, to the front part of you, so you can start to trust yourself. You have the tools now. So what do you need me for? So no, after 90 days you can reach out to me as a friend, but I'm no longer that mentor for you after 90 days.
Candace Patrice:That's how often do you, do you meet?
Amazing Soul:So it's every week for 90 minutes for 12 weeks. So I'm very big on that three 90, but yeah, 90 minutes every week, once a week. But you, you have access to me to ask me questions during that 90 days, if anything comes up during the week based on the assignments I give you or the things I tell you to apply, and you know. But yeah.
Candace Patrice:Can you fail the course, Like after 90 days? What if someone? Or have you noticed that everyone who's come to you is usually willing to do the work, and do you only take people who are willing to do the work? Do you take anybody Like? What does your vetting process look like? Or is there no vetting process? It's just?
Amazing Soul:show up, sign up tears, my calendar and get on the schedule. That's a beautiful question, candice. You have to apply. So if you're not willing to take responsibility and accountability of your life, you can't work with me. If you're not willing to have fun, you can't work with me. And if you're not willing to invest in your mindset, you can't work with me. So it's yeah, there are some things you have to apply first. Then we have to see if we're a good match. Then we can go from there.
Candace Patrice:I love that you did the work or are doing the work yourself and then giving that out in real life. To say it's not impossible because I am a product of the work, like this doesn't come from me just believing one thing and I'm telling you to do it. I do this every day. It's consistent and it's a decision that has to be made. Every day you show up, you wake up and say today I'm going to be the best version of myself because I am great and if I choose to, today's a great day.
Candace Patrice:Whatever happened yesterday was just something that happened yesterday and whatever's going to happen in the future is going to happen in the future. Like, I can't change it. I can't, I can't make something else happen. I was driving and I was like wow, like I really don't know what the future holds. I only know what happened in the past and that I'm living in the present. But something could fall out the sky right now and know it wasn't planned. But that's the future. Yeah, like, at any given point, something could change. It's also the reason for why we should forgive and not judge people, because you never know when someone life's check, when someone life changes. Check when someone life changes when they make that mental switch to say, huh, today's the day. And who are we to say, no, it's not, because yesterday wasn't the day. Yeah, today's a new day. How can you give somebody that and then stunt their growth? Yeah, because you don't believe in them.
Candace Patrice:Yeah, you know which is why we gotta look at the man in the mirror. Yeah, okay, yeah, let me add this.
Amazing Soul:There's this quote to shift your perspective on judgment be curious, not judgmental, before you judge. In quote, just be curious, even if it's not something that aligns with you. Just what is this like? If most of us start to, you know, just being curious to the other person, the judgment thing will let go easily in our minds, because the logical thing we do is judge that person. That person is good or bad or no. How about let's be? What's this thing about? Why does this person act the way they do? And if you trace back, yes, it's really pain, trauma that even allows you to open your heart, to show them compassion. Once you know where they're coming from, you know. But I for one, I try to approach life to just be curious on what this person's story is, why they're acting the way they're acting.
Candace Patrice:And go from there. It takes me back to social psychology. Look at all of the factors of social psychology when they came from, the people who are around them, their community, their household surroundings, what schools they went to, the friends that they've been around, the things that they've been exposed to and where there may be some stunting of growth. And I've said this story before but I'll say it again the kid who, at four years old, listened to his parents arguing and fighting while he was watching Rocky and Bullwinkle, but developed a stutter from that day.
Candace Patrice:And it wasn't until someone was able to dig like when was the, what were you doing? What was the earliest moment you remember stuttering? And then for them to go back to that moment and at that point begin to speak. Well, because they've identified the roadblocker in their brain that has caused this trauma from four years. Oh, you're living in a four-year-old mindset and you can't move forward.
Candace Patrice:That person is now a public speaker today and they go around. I don't know their name. I wish I did, because I would totally say it, but if you search, it was Tony Robbins who told the story. Um, so if that was googled, anybody listening just look up. Tony Robbins helps man stop stuttering or identify stuttering problem. Yeah, um, go ahead, mom, you have a question?
Janet Hale:I have a question. Yeah, um, because I'm, I'm with this, this judgment thing. That'm not judging the dope man, I'm not judging the prostitute, I'm not Because I don't know your story of work that I've done, been in and all that. And folks at Rookwood, they did A, b and C. And my question is to the person because I'm not studying all that other stuff is what's going on?
Janet Hale:Talk to me about what's going on, you know, and sometimes just that moment allows that person to feel safe enough to say I'm upset because I saw my father slapping my mother before I walked out for school today and I'm upset about whatever that is. So the judgment? Who are we any of us to judge? Anybody, because we all have a story, every last one of us have a story. And so I remember talking to uh Candace about some things and, um, and I don't know how it, how we, how we said it, but the thing was because she didn't understand, I don't think, some of my decision and I said have you ever wondered? I'm not sure if it went exactly this way, but in my mind right now this is where it's going. Have you ever wondered what kind of pain I must have had to go in order for me to come up with this decision. If you follow me, because, like you said, that pain is your teaching, now do you keep walking into the same pain or not?
Amazing Soul:so I, as we were speaking, what what came through was um, that's just something I learned from oprah people want to feel seen, heard and empowered. You know, once you can start to really give space to people to feel seen, heard and empowered, they will lower down their guards and realize that there's no agenda. I just see you. I see you for who you are right now, not the past, not the future. I just see you and I love you regardless. I don't care whether you killed someone yesterday or you, I don't care, I just see you.
Amazing Soul:And that's where healing starts to really happen, because that unconditional love. I love you regardless. That's how people change and transform, because now there's no, there's no, there's no guard, there's no. Oh, you're going to judge me because you know I did this in the past. Once they see that they let down their guard, they let down their, you know, and it's easier for them to you know, go within themselves and realize they have it already. They have the key and the tools to transform their life, because now you see them for who they really are.
Janet Hale:And I think, thank you. You made me think of an exercise and I don't know who, why I can't put a name to it, but um, but I practiced it and it was very difficult. It sounds easy, but when doing it it was like, and it was to stand in a mirror look at yourself until you see yourself. When I tell you you Miss Janet the hippie, she was looking, then she was turning away. She would look a minute, then she'd get distracted. She'd look a minute, then she ooh, and then she got still with it and said we're gonna deal with this, whatever this is. I didn't have any idea. And then I saw her and said we're going to deal with this, whatever this is. I didn't have any idea. And then I saw her, oh, with her sweet self.
Janet Hale:Where did you see her? But as easy as that sounds, it was a difficult task.
Candace Patrice:Where did you see her first? You notice yourself from your body first did you identify yourself from your eyes. Was it your lips? Do you remember?
Janet Hale:it was my eyes. It was my eyes, it was through my eyes.
Candace Patrice:For some people it may be too much to start with the full figure of their selves.
Janet Hale:I didn't go there yet, you said.
Candace Patrice:you looked and turned away and looked and turned away, but sometimes getting extremely close in the mirror and just looking yourself eyeball to eyeball.
Candace Patrice:At least let me just say I did this and I saw someone so pretty in those eyes and every now and then I try to capture that, because it was. You know, they say eyes are the windows to the soul, and it's almost as if I saw my whole soul inside of me and she was so pretty. So I'm like wait a minute, wait a minute, uh. But then I was able to back up out of myself and begin to see more of the pretty. From my eyes. It began to expand to my lips, to my face, to my neck, to my breast, to breast, to my thighs, to my everything. Every part of me became great, became a work of art. Where I am today, it's so strange. I just leave the universe for a little bit, for a few minutes, and it's the most beautiful place to be, and I don't think I want to live on earth because it's ghetto. It's so ghetto here. I want to live on earth because it's ghetto. It's so ghetto here.
Amazing Soul:And you're not living on earth.
Candace Patrice:my love Is it because everybody isn't in the same universe that I'm in, and so, in order to communicate, to the humans. Here I have to come and, you know, communicate, but then I'll be like it's a little ghetto y'all. I'm going back, bye.
Amazing Soul:You're the sky. Everything else is the weather. It changes. Remember who you really are, you don't need to do anything, period.
Candace Patrice:Okay, I'm writing that down.
Janet Hale:That's your new thing Putting it on the t-shirt.
Candace Patrice:Amazing.
Janet Hale:You're the sky. I'm sorry.
Candace Patrice:Mufasa said it best Remember who you are Amazing. You're the sky. Mufasa said it best Remember who you are. We're going to have to close up. This has been so amazing. I know the time does that to us. It just keeps going. You know, mr Jones told us, life moves on, with or without us, and the time kept going, whether we wanted it to or not. Be the sky, mother. Be the sky. Be the sky.
Janet Hale:Why not be in the little den? I'm sorry and she's having a tantrum All right.
Candace Patrice:Is it time it is, of course I. I don't want to, of course, always. So we talk about pain and we talk about these journeys, and not everyone is at a place, in a space to receive where we are or what we've done, um, and we're continuing to do. I don't ever want to come across as if, oh, we figured it out, no, no, no, we're just on a journey and on this journey, this is where we are, and we've discovered that these things work, and they not only work for us, they work for multiple people and if we can get the message out and the word out, we want to help other people to get to this place and continue moving forward as we continue moving forward. Okay, so I absolutely want to say that, but you need help or need someone to talk to. You can call or text the suicide prevention lifeline at nine, eight, eight, and that's 24 hours, seven days a week.
Candace Patrice:There are also other resources and I'm working on a resource page on my website so that you all can have access to these people. Amazing soul, you'll be able to click her link Now. It takes me a minute. This is a great idea that I have because I'm still a work in progress. This is a goal I want to achieve at some point. There is no achievable date on the books yet, because too much pressure, I like to live date on the books yet because too much pressure, I like to live. It'll be a little fluid, but know that I want to do that so badly. I want to have a place where there are resources for books and mindset development, coaches or places to be safe, because we've had so many great guests on our show over the last four seasons and people should be able to get to you all at any given time.
Candace Patrice:And also, remembering this I don't know why this is coming to me, but we don't have to hold on to things. For me to want a resource page for you all to be able to go click somebody else's page, you don't have to get it from me. I may not be for you, but there are so many people here who may be for you, so I don't ever feel like something will be cut off because it's not coming to me. How can I give you more places to flow? Let me be a tree with multiple branches and ways to get to the green leaves.
Candace Patrice:It don't have to be this one. There are multiple different ways Seeds, plant the seeds and watch the harvest grow. I'm not going to guard one seed because that just might not be the seed for me, but you can go and get what you need. So, if it's going back to an old podcast and listening to somebody else, look at the topics and see what works for what you need, because this is why we do it. For you to be say ha, I can relate. What did they do to heal?
Amazing Soul:Ha, maybe I can try that, and if it doesn't work, it's okay, Don't stop trying.
Candace Patrice:Start from the left instead of the right when you're opening your office. Go through Plymouth instead of going through Canton. Like, try a different way. Take the streets instead of the freeway.
Candace Patrice:It's tell the GPS to give you the alternative route, the ways that you haven't, the things that you've avoided. Go look, see how it's changed. The world is ever changing and so much of what was hurt and pain back in the day may not be what is today. Check out that old neighborhood. It might be rebuilt, it might be tore down, we don't know. But go check it out. How do you feel? Have you conquered the feeling that was there that you've been holding captive? Do you need to look back and ask yourself the questions why does this still feel painful 30 years later? Or, wow, this doesn't feel painful 30 years later. And I've been holding on to something that I did not need to.
Candace Patrice:Let it go, be childlike. Follow your purpose and your passion. Don't hold on to anything because we don't know what the future holds. People lose their lives instantly and it's so hard because we're tied to someone or something. But be tied to yourself. Be tied to you because when the existence of yourself ends, I mean how much pain you gonna have depending on your belief system and all of that. But what is that belief system? Acknowledge that, hold on true to that. Be who you are in your belief system, even if it goes against what everybody else believes, because you may have a divine purpose that is not your own. Any last words from you guys.
Janet Hale:Oh, I just really enjoyed this podcast. I enjoyed the subject matter. I enjoyed most of them. I love all of them. I enjoy meeting you as well. It's a pleasure, and one of the things that I thought about as we talk about belief systems that candace talked about was and this is not part of our thing, I don't think, but it just made, it just came to me and how sometimes, depending on what your belief systems are, yeah um, it's okay to call upon our ancestors and let them help us um, because they live in us.
Janet Hale:They, they're in our DNA. Anyway, I don't know why that came up right At the end, because I don't want the podcast to end. I know why, but that's okay. It's okay, it was a pleasure.
Amazing Soul:It was a pleasure. Thank you very much.
Candace Patrice:I'll give you your social media handles and everything where people can find you and how they can get there. Okay, they can come to you and apply, okay cool.
Amazing Soul:First of all, thank you so much, candice and Jen, and I truly, truly appreciate both of you for creating this amazing space From my heart to yours, thank you. I wanted to add to the conversation and say that, for anyone listening, I want you to start to be like a tree. When you see a tree, you don't say this tree is ugly or short or tall. We just say be like a tree. When you see a tree, you don't say this tree is ugly or short or tall, we just say that's a tree, that's a very beautiful tree. But why is it that as human beings, we say, oh, that person is ugly or pretty, or that person's fat or skinny.
Amazing Soul:So start to shift your perspective and start to see people as trees, or including yourself, and just see people for what they are. It will help you mentally to drop that judgmental mindset and also always remember to just be here now. If you don't have the answers to what you're looking for, just be present and probably the answer might just be staring you back in the face. Um, and if you ever want to connect with me, my social media handles are the amazing soul mentor on all social media platforms and my website is the mindfuckcocom and I am sending any beautiful person listening right now. Never forget to have fun. Show yourself compassion and kindness. Thank you, guys, so much for really having me on here. I truly appreciated sharing this time with you thank you for reaching out and wanting to be a guest.
Candace Patrice:Thank you, um, these paths needed to cross. I've learned so much from you in the short amount of time that I've had to get to know you and be with you, and I'm going to forever be able to take some of these tools that you've given me, and I'll continue to follow your path as well, to take more tools and give more tools and allow me to be a resource to you as well whenever needed. So, thank you, thank you, thank you as well whenever needed. So thank you, thank you, thank you, of course, everybody. You can find me at essentialmotivationcom. On the website, you can leave any feedback. We actually have the text feature now. So from the website, you can text any information, any comments, any thoughts or subject matters that you want to hear. It'll come directly to me. So, looking forward to that, you can email me at CandiceFleming at EssentialMotivationcom.
Candace Patrice:Instagram is CandicePatrice underscore EM. I haven't shut down the other Instagram because I hold on to things. So's again, that's just a real thing. But please follow the Instagram CandicePatrice underscore em. I am so grateful. I am so grateful, everybody. Thank you for listening, thank you for liking, thank you for sharing, thank you for being here with our amazing guests. I love saying that Amazing soul, yes, and always remember to love hard, forgive often and laugh frequent.
Janet Hale:Bye guys, bye-bye baby.
